Month: August 2021

Broadjam Artist: Steven McDonald
Song: I've Got My Savior

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tom Worth (Songwriter, Producer, Pro Songwriting Coach)

Pro General Comments: **Please refer to this more than checkmarks above**Wow this is a wonderful song and recording! Great work! I'm not surprised that you were able to get radio play. It's not common to have the solo before 2nd chorus, but it totally works here. In fact I love how the solo flows into the 2nd chorus musically. Cool production pause at beginning of last verse. Singer (I'm guessing you) is AWESEOME.There are a couple lyrical things that I believe could be strongerCh: 2nd line. It seems like a forced rhyme to me. If you were having a conversation you wouldn't say this, you'd say something more like "what was done to him was he was placed on a cross." This is not a huge thing, but could be improved.Verse 3: I would prefer if you kept the same pattern of the other verses here where you say "I've got my Savior" before "when things come undone." I know that wouldn't make any sense lol, but I would adjust lyrics so you can keep that same pattern.These lyrical things aren't what I'd call deal breakers. If you have your own studio and could simply fix those parts and remix, I'd do it. But if you'd have to pay for a lot of studio time, it may not be worth it. Your call really.

Quote From Pro: A radio ready song. Bravo.

Broadjam Artist: allison bolton
Song: I'm READY

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tom Worth (Songwriter, Producer, Pro Songwriting Coach)

Pro General Comments: Very nice song Allison! Sorry it took me a few weeks to review...been traveling. Production, vocal, and mix are all excellent. I would focus on this section rather than ratings above.Your lyrics are good but I think they could expand and explain the story better at times. The 2nd line of the chorus is powerful (I'm tired of fighting for who I used to be.) Other than losing his wife you don't talk about how his life used to be and what he misses. I think that could easily be addressed in the 2nd verse. Here are some thoughts:Verse 1: instead of "kids made life worth while" maybe say something like "raising a family made life worth while." This way it incorporates the wife as well (kind of lol). Cause I'm guessing that missing his wife is a huge part of the reason he's ready to go.Pre: LOVE the first line and the melody. I think you can beat "made his life sad." For example, "Makes me long for the past," or "all I do is think back"...something like that . And feel free to use any of my ideas...I'm not looking for co-writing credit lol. Chorus: 1st 3 lines are great. I think last line could be a little more heartfelt. Maybe something like, "don't worry baby I'll always be watching over you." I don't love "still be here" cause he'll be in heaven as you say in bridge. Musically and melodically the chorus is fine, but it sure sounds a lot like the verse. I'm guessing you've spent money on this track and don't want to re-record the instruments...and I get that. But if that wasn't a factor I would suggest maybe starting the chorus on the D instead of the A (and addressing melody accordingly). That little lift before the chorus (D chord) doesn't really build it much so I'd get rid of it. I'd also make the turn (music between end of chorus and 2nd verse) a little longer to let the listener take in this heavy message. BUT...again the music is ok as is if you don't want to re-record instruments.Verse 2 and pre: Here is where I'd talk about what he's tired of fighting for, and why he's ready. Be specific. How his misses his wife, how his back hurts, etc. Talking about all this will naturally lead into 2nd chorus. Also...the 2nd pre doesn't match the phrasing/melody of 1st pre. I would address that when re-writing lyrics.Bridge: over all it's nice but a little confusing. Ideas: There are a lot of "he said's" in here so instead of starting with "I said" maybe just address him. For example, "Oh Daddy you know..."I think it's interesting that you want him to be with you when you die (from heaven). But I don't think that concept goes into the 3rd chorus story wise. I would suggest either:1.Simply change the 2nd line to say something like "I want you to know I'll there beside you when it's time for you to go" and then simply eliminate the last 2 lines. You may be able to do this without rerecording instruments by simply cutting out 2 lines musically. If that doesn't work here's another option2.If you want to keep a 3rd and 4th line I would still do what I said in line 2 above, but then use 3rd and 4th line to say how you know your mom will be there too (when he's ready to go) or something like that.Also - over all I would avoid saying "whom." Grammar aside...who sounds better ?I think this tune is worth working. I hope this is helpful and keep up the great work!

Quote From Pro: Allison's vocals communicate her lyrics very well. Great stuff.

Broadjam Artist: The SuBourbon Blues Project - Chris Ford
Song: Easy Street

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Nikki Hornsby (Songwriter, Artist, Producer, Arranger)

Pro General Comments: I like this song of course by the feeling it brings up is great. I listened many times more than once. The intro was a catcher then the washboard when, as a professional musician that my whole life I've been, the instruments are brought together in such a good way. The claps with the rhythm of blues are all good too but I love to see the female vocalist performance named as credit needs to be given too. I'm sure on your second CD project you do supply the liner notes or your established record label does this hopefully too. This song with the mouth harp does a good job, Chris. Now where to take it from here is what I'll try to feedback to you too.

Quote From Pro: Once I started the reviewing process, I began to search for parts to point to exactly by the numbers during the reviewing process for "Easy Street" that I do. Maybe as your studio engineer or producer might do when paid to do this for a songwriter. As you see there are not any numbers, I pointed to which means it's solid work in my opinion. Only I love the blues like Americana folk music here since my late Grandpa discovered one of the greats in the blues (www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dan_Hornsby) singers as I inherited his ears to carry on the Hornsby Music Family Tradition all my life. My job here is to give you some pointers as your questions in my professional opinion on Broadjam.com. I liked this unique blues (folk Americana) song, and your job has just begun - unless you are already signed to a known publisher whose staff will do that work for you. I enjoyed hearing this song very much. Hopefully I may be reviewing more of your work in the future for Broadjam.com. Keep writing since there is mega talent here that I just heard and hopefully the credits of the singer's contribution are noted in the future too. Thank you for making a fine production for my ears & heart to hear as I hear you're on the right road.

Broadjam Artist: Charles Edmund Carter
Song: Save A Little For You

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Nikki Hornsby (Songwriter, Artist, Producer, Arranger)

Pro General Comments: The lead vocal with doubles in spots fills the song up well as I said back in 4/13/2021 when I first reviewed it. Sounds a bit like four to five country vocal groups at those places in this song. The balance made with the female & male vocal points you indicated on your page is good since that technique works well with this song. The vocal grouping is good on pitch and the topic concept is good. "Save a little" is a good filler cut for an LP and time of 3:03 is good in that way time too. If it's to be released on radio it's a fair play by timing alone with the marketing. With your promotion team you might look into marketing to a tv cable commercial for use in "save a little for me... save a little for you" in the background or bumper intro cut works well too. Also this time I heard a need to redo in studio to pull back music at 1:32 to 2:11 so it doesn't walk over the vocals too much. Of course your producer/engineer to Mastering engineer might have caught that part plus maybe the ending needs faster fade out on the cymbal echo but certainly your engineer might fix it easily. Again, as you may know the purpose of writing commercially is to find a spot for the returns on the investment which also perpetuates more success, I'm sure you know this too.

Quote From Pro: As I said back in 4/2021 again the potential of this song is there since the production is solid but only in my humble opinion. The technical parts are ok and visions now must go to your team of marketing this song to the public as I am sure that can be seen when this "little for me... little for you" is listened to by their marketing ears to the lyrics and nice up tempo. Good luck as I look forward to hearing about your great successes with any of the songs you've written. Also, I look forward to my reviewing by Broadjam's Pro Reviewing in the future as well. Thank you for songs I've enjoyed and even the ones I've had suggestions about ... just keep writing! It's been an honor to hear the creative process by both you guys. God bless & keep creative!

Broadjam Artist: Charles Edmund Carter
Song: Colorado

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Nikki Hornsby (Songwriter, Artist, Producer, Arranger)

Pro General Comments: This good song needs a different vocal lead if you wish to release it independently. Instrumentation's choices are good along with time of intro and breaks. For future reference understand most songs with pickup trucks plus other lyrics in this song do fit more into country than Pop genera. There's no mention of the back ground vocalist who did a good job as the engineer did as well. The arrangement was good on this song for the breaks and instruments but the progress in writing and assembling improves as often as I review your work. Over all when a songwriter is reaching out to make a name in the music recording industry it's the choice of the established vocalist aka artist that the song is licensed to in order to be purchased by to the consumer which I'm certain you know this after all this time.

Quote From Pro: This good country song about Colorado needs a new vocalist for shopping but could possibly be a plus if shopping to a country singer already under a recording contract looking for a ballad about Colorado. Try to shop it for TV Series and cable film release or even to the products produced in Colorado. I enjoyed the arrangement and musicians on this cut. I do wish to know your songwriting acquisition successes because I know there must be and the future looks good. God has given you the gifts to write and I do look forward to reviewing more of your work soon too. Thank you.

Broadjam Artist: LOVE by Dave Peeler
Song: Love

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Jeseka Price (Publisher, Producer)

Pro General Comments: I Love, Love, Love this song and its melody specifically.I find it to be very therapeutic, serene, and calming while positive at the same time! Also, I am a big fan of your songwriting, and the vocalist used! She is very good as well- However, I do find the chorus or hook to be aesthetically nice, yet something feels like it's missing due to the consistent repetition placed on the word "Love" x4 or 5 in the chorus. On a brighter note, at the same time that is also what holds the melody that I love so much....and maybe that is the point, right?!? Very creative, anyhow love this song! The last thing I will say about your lovely song is maybe changing the tempo slightly, or even notes (they could go an octave higher or lower), even bringing in a second vocalist like a deep southern country baritone vocalist on the 2nd and 4th or 3rd and 4th verses like a Scott McCreery or Toby Keith as a collaborative effort, just swap out some of the lines to match. Then, I really think that could be something tough on the Blues and Country tip! Also, you have now gained a big fan "myself" with respect to your songwriting. I love what you have executed here Dave, so please Keep up the great work, and don't stop your amazing skill and talent for songwriting!So, thanks again for submitting your song, and patience during these crazy times, btw! Happy to hear and review it! Let's keep in touch and I look forward to hearing more from you :)Thank you,Jeseka PricePrice Royalty Publishing

Quote From Pro: The last thing I will say about your song is that it is definitely perfect for "Newlyweds" and my only thought is to maybe change up the tempo slightly by way of notes (they could go an octave higher or lower), even bringing in a second vocalist like a deep southern country baritone vocalist on the 2nd and 4th or 3rd and 4th verses like a Scott McCreery or Toby Keith as a collaborative effort, just swap out some of the lines to match. I really think that could be something tough on the Blues and Country tip! Also, you have now gained a big fan "myself" with respect to your songwriting. I love what you have executed here Dave, so please Keep up the great work, and don't stop your amazing skill and talent for songwriting!

Broadjam Artist: Joy Solomon
Song: Love Triangles (16 b 44_K) MST

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Jonathan Weiss (Music Supervisor, A&R)

Pro General Comments: Solid overall arrangement and authentic sounding retro styled instrumentation and chord sequence. The initial guitar riff is quite familiar sounding, coming close to the traditional sounding II-V-I (2-5-1) chord sequence that was quite familiar in the 50's and into the early 60's. I even heard some doo wop type background vocals that are indicative of this era and done quite well I might add. Lyrically, the listener can definitely can get an idea quickly of the theme and message of the track, however, some of the chorus lyrics are stretching credibility a bit "love triangles are all the rage." Didn't know that was the case, but maybe I'm living a sheltered life! I do like however the consistency and storytelling ability that comes through from the lyrics, "make a choice, more hearts will break, no one can win, they don't end well, don't get caught," etc., all of which are true. Maybe it's more of a comment on some of the polygamist stories that come out occasionally in the news!The lead vocals are strong and passionate sounding, I liked the harmonica licks, live drums and authentic sounding instrumentation that sounded like a live band was all playing together in the studio.

Quote From Pro: Solid arrangement and retro styled pop rock track with energetic female lead vocals that hits on a somewhat taboo subject of being in a troubled "love triangle."

Broadjam Artist: Charles Edmund Carter
Song: In Dreamland

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Once again, Mr. Carter, the production values are excellent. Top-notch.This song is a viable idea. Way too viable.Anybody who wants to can go on to BMI.com and search the "Songview".What that is is a listing of every title that BMI and ASCAP have registered. If you have an idea for a title that you would like to write, a good idea is to go there and check to see how many other songs have that, or similar, titles.Admittedly, it's almost impossible to find a title that hasn't been written before. Unless it's something completely off-the-wall. It's not a detriment to continue writing a title if there are, say, less than 30 other versions of it.If you go to BMI.com and search the title "Dreamland" (the "in" is superfluous) on the Songview, the result you get will stun you. There are 1,184 other versions of this title or something similar.Someone, somewhere is trying to get every one of these songs exploited. They are trying to get them played on the radio or placed with a major label artist. To get your song noticed, it must be heard at the right place at the right time by the right person. If there are a lot of other songs with the same title, you might become like the salmon swimming upstream to spawn.Just so's you know.Here's the review of YOUR version:First Verse - the second line, "starlight her beauty displays" is not something anybody would ever say. In song lyrics, it is usually desirable to have your lines sound conversational. That draws the listener in more. The third line, "The Sandman will lead them to Dreamland" has a couple problems with it. The term "the Sandman" sounds dated. Secondly, "Dreamland" is the last word of the line, and it probably should not be there. If it's the title, it's best to have it appear once in the chorus only. Every other time you use it weakens it.I believe a good idea would be to replace the word "Dreamland" in the third line of the chorus. And please, remove the word "just" from the last line of the chorus.Suggestion for the first line of the second verse:"You can fly anywhere you want to,". It gets the "Dreamland" out of that line.Second line, second verse: "Dance out across the stars".Moving to the bridge."You're not just in my imagination, I know in my heart that you're real,".These two lines say essentially the same thing in different words, and therefore one of them is redundant.In the first line, I suggest changing the "just" to "only". Seems stronger. Second line has a major no-no in it. The phrase "in my heart", as well as stuff like "deep in my heart", "in my soul", "deep in my soul," etc., are all poisonous. Clichs like that will get you thrown out of the publisher's WINDOW, even if you're on the second floor. This is a nice piece, Charles. It's a kinda cosmic mood piece. Has a very nice feel to it. As such, you may be able to get some action on it if you do a little work with the lyrics.Remember, there has to be something in the lyric nobody has ever heard before. You can do it, Charles, if anyone can.

Quote From Pro: Charles Edmund Carter's versatility is AMAZING!

Broadjam Artist: Charles Edmund Carter
Song: Tadpole, Louisiana

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Cool Groove, Charles. Love that Zydeco sound.I know I keep saying this, but it's true. Your production people are top-notch. It's great to hear the work of someone who knows how to make many diverse sounds come together in a coherent mix. It's an art form in its own right.In this song, you're telling a me story. Painting me a picture. You got me wanting to visit Tadpole. Is it close to Covington?If I were you, I would think about ditching the "very tough" in the third line of the first verse. I think "dangerous" might be better. It fits well and it gets rid of the "very" adverb, which is always clumsy. In the next line down, I would consider melodically stretching out the word "least" and then getting rid of the word "many". I believe that removing any syllable that can be removed is essential to good songwriting. It is why I have said, time and time again, go over every line of every song and pull out every single word to see what the line sounds like without that word in it. Make every single syllable justify its existence. It is a cornerstone of good songwriting. Of GREAT songwriting.Other than that, I have no problem with anything in this song. You fix those little bumps, and it's ready to pitch.Good work. Keep it up.

Quote From Pro: OO-EEE, dis boy can pick dat Cajun Zydeco. Who Dat?Charles Edmond Carter, dat's who!

Broadjam Artist: Charles Edmund Carter
Song: Dallas Tonight

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Once again, Charles, the production of your song is fantastic. All the right instruments in exactly the right places. Please congratulate whoever your production people are.This is some of your best work. I like your idea. It is different.Here are the suggestions I would have for changes you might consider in your lyric.Verse one: Everything looks good until you get to the last two lines, "That all her fans can sayIt seems she's singing all her songs to me".How about something like, "Every one of her fans say, she wrote her songs just for me,"?That uses a word usually POISONOUS to me. "Just". I hate that word. Most the time, it is JUST a throw away syllable. But here, it sounds like something someone would actually say.To me, that is more concise. It doesn't repeat the word "all" and doesn't have the words "It seems", which is a well-worn clich. I mean, it's a BAD one unless, you can find a completely new and fresh take on how it's being used. It also does not overuse the word "sings". It replaces it with "writes".The pre-chorus stands up. You might brainstorm something stronger than "Regardless he's with her anyway,".As far as the chorus is concerned, it's cool until you get to the last two lines, again."She'll keep singing 'til she's dead, Or the pain is gone." I would seriously consider, if I were you, dropping three words from this line. They are "she's dead or". "Dead" is a very harsh word. If you can get it out of any songs you are writing, you are better off doing it. Plus, you don't need the extra syllables. I would be stretching out the words "till the pain is gone", making them stronger.I would also mull over the possibility of changing the title to "Till The Pain Is Gone". It is much more what the song is about.The Second Verse? Once more with the last two lines."Her driver keeps on drivin' and drivin' through the night, But he never seems to drive her pain away,"? Too many "driv-"syllables. You don't want to use the word "pain" anywhere but in the last line of the chorus, do you? Dilutes its power.I wouldn't. How about "Her driver keeps the hammer down, all through the night,But he can't drive her sorrow away,"?You may use these suggestions (or not) without charge. You don't even need to name me as your cowriter. Or not.All in all, Charles Edmund Carter, you are coming along. Progressing well. Keep up the good work.

Quote From Pro: "Charles Edmund Carter can tug at your heartstrings when he wants to..."