Month: November 2019

Broadjam Artist: Alan Lee Carpenter
Song: Carnival Time

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)

Pro General Comments: This one is so different than the others, and reading through your notes it seems like you are focusing this one more on commercials or film. I agree, that seems like a good place for it - mostly in commercials, which is a whole different world to pitch to but can be extremely lucrative if you get in that rhythm. The vocals is once again extraordinarily good, but I am less blown away by the melody and lyric here than in your other tunes. Your do very well with the rock and English-pop vibe of Roommate - this song feels like you're stretching a little and maybe it isn't quite your stride. The good thing is that it shows you can do a wide range of genres. Positioning yourself as a producer/vocalist will be a very successful path.It sounds most to me like you want to write for sync rather than be an artist? Do I have that correct? I say that only because I would have trouble defining you as an artist genre-wise, but the strength of your vocal, production and writing is very clear. I don't hear an artist covering this song, but continue to pitch to supervisors in LA/Chicago (for ads) and see if this one finds a great home. I do think your rock vibes are a bit more special overall. This one feels more forced into place and less natural.

Quote From Pro: Uplifting, fun and true to the title, delivered with a fun, masterful vocal - ready for a commercial or light scene in film or television. Alan is a masterful writer and producer.

Broadjam Artist: Alan Lee Carpenter
Song: Roommate - Piano

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)

Pro General Comments: I'm a fan of this song, I assume this is a broken-down version and I like it. I think starting with the piano gives it more of an emotional knock-out punch. Once again, your vocal and production is stellar. I'm not sold on the "love-mate" lyric because it's kind of a made up work that may throw people off who are singing along. As I mentioned before, this song feels very English, though I believe you are American? Same way the Killers can feel English, and Radiohead can sometimes feel American. Overall, I think this mix is more competitive than the previous one. I could see this being an end-credits movie song, like Troye Sivan did for "Call Me By Your Name". It's a very defining song which may hurt you until the correct opportunity comes up. I can't say enough how much I like your voice and production. I think for you it's more about the strategy in how you pitch your song and how you get industry people to hear your work. You already have the body of work ready to go. As I mentioned before, hearing more about what you're trying to do will help me understand the best way to critique and guide you. Even if you play acoustic only, it is smart to reach out to your PRO (ASCAP, BMI or SESAC) with this material and see if they can add you to showcases in your area. Continue to network with other writers, co-write in LA/Nashville/Austin/NYC and just keep moving forward. You certainly have the ability and the material.

Quote From Pro: A quiet, emotive version of a memorable song, sung with full conviction and extraordinary vocal ability. Waiting for the end credits to play...

Broadjam Artist: Alan Lee Carpenter
Song: Make Your Move

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)

Pro General Comments: Once again, you've nailed a pocket and a feel that is undeniable, which is why I think working in film and television sync could be super productive for you, especially if you are in California, as being in LA is key to getting started. I love the fuzzed out guitar tone here, a little Smashing Pumpkins/Muse thing happening. Once again, a fantastic vocal performance. It seems like maybe you are struggling some with what your genre is, because you've nailed folk and pop and rock in your submissions. That said, this song feels darn good for your voice, which is a saying a lot. The lyrics feel slightly less interesting to me here, but that's okay in rock, you can let the groove and hook carry you. Consider focusing on sync opportunities for your songs, and please get out and start showcasing these tunes live.Do you do all of your own production? I'm curious about the opportunities you might have as a producer or "track guy"? You're clearly skilled in various genres, which could make you a good jack of all trades producer in Nashville as well, as your songs sound modern and well-produced. It would just be a question of getting super familiar with the country world. I'm curious to know more about your goals and intentions, as those will help me shape my reviews in a way that is most useful to you as a writer/performer.

Quote From Pro: A little Muse, and a lot of killer vocals make this song a must-listen for high-energy film scenes and trailers.

Broadjam Artist: Alan Lee Carpenter
Song: Mia's Gone

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)

Pro General Comments: I'm such a huge fan of your voice and your creativity. I'm hopeful that you are playing a lot of live shows in your hometown, because if you're as good of a singer live as you are in the studio, I would think you'd start to build a buzz very quickly. I like that this is a sad song but feels super happy. I also love that you did a fade, because nobody does that anymore. My main question is whether the lyric will connect with folks. Because the song feels so happy, almost in a "Save Me San Francisco" by Train way, it should work. The mix feels slightly old school, which can be cool because it's hipster. Seems like this could be a great sync pitch with or without vocal. I continue to highly suggest you pitch to film and television supervisors, and dig deep on the MTV website for opportunities for sync there. Fun stuff, well-written and enjoyable across the board. I like what you do. Anytime you use a specific person's name, it can alienate an audience, but this can be overrridden by a great melody (like "Hey Jude" or "My Maria" etc.) and in this case I quickly forget about wondering who "Mia" was and just started enjoying the vibe of the song. I think it's a true talent when you can blend a happy song with a sad lyric. If you don't already listen to The Smiths / Morrissey, I suggest digging in!

Quote From Pro: There's a little bit of Train, and a little bit of the Killers, with a touch of Simon & Garfunkel in this upbeat break-up song. You'll find your foot tapping along while you enjoy a great vocal performance and a well-written heartbreaker.

Broadjam Artist: Amy Elizabeth
Song: Roots

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Doug Diamond (Music Supervisor, Engineer, Producer, Composer )

Pro General Comments: Hi Amy -Thanks for letting me know about your song, "Roots". I really like it. I've listened to it over-and-over and believe it has the makings of a hit song (however you want to define that). The performances are excellent. The lyrics are good. The main melody / hook is very good. I like the songwriting in general. There are only a couple tweaks I would suggest (in next section below). Know that you are REALLY close in my opinion to something great that could work in a variety of scenarios. Excellent work!For the style of song this is, combined with the vocals, instrumental performances, and "sound" - really is a perfect combination well done.This song sounds like something you'd hear on Country Radio and with a few adjustments, that could actually be feasible.Be sure to link to your website front-and-center from your Broadjam profile as I could not easily find it when looking. As you're not using your last name, it makes it more of a challenge when searching for more info. I wanted to find out more about you, but realized it was more difficult than I thought it would be. It appears you have excellent pics and social media, so that's good, but as a music supervisor, I often don't have time to dig for info, so you gotta make it easy and obvious. Having what the industry calls the "full package" is essential these days and I believe you do.I'll address your questions in the next section, but would like for you to contact me via my site at www.diamondigitalmedia.com. I think we can probably do some work together.Thanks again.

Quote From Pro: Amy Elizabeth's "Roots" is Country / Americana nearly at its finest. Great performances. Great vocals. Excellent songwriting. It has all the makings of what should be a hit song and belongs on radio.

Broadjam Artist: William Smith
Song: Sorry Doesn't Fit Here

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)

Pro General Comments: Hi William,I'm not sure if you wrote this song for you to perform or if you want other artists to record your song. The negative story line will make it difficult to attract other artists unless they are going through a bad relationship with a woman who has constantly lied to them and they are through putting up with her. Why has he waited so long to call this bad relationship off? Has he been in denial all these years or has he kept looking the other way because he hoped she would stop lying? The form or the song is more alternative than contemporary. There are 4 verses and the verses are not all using the same meter, phrasing and rhyme scheme. This makes the song form interesting but unpredictable. If you want your listener to remember the words and music so they can sing along try to match the meter, phrasing, rhyme and melody of all the verses. The most common form for this type of retro R&B song is verse/chorus/verse/chorus/bridge/chorus. There are of course other forms that have worked. There are very few 4 verse songs in today's commercial market. For every slow heartbreak, sad, break-up song you write my advice is write 5 uptempo positive songs. Happy positive songs are more likely to get recorded and released in my opinion. Your vocal is good. The song feels happy and positive but the lyric is dark and gloomy. The music is well performed but again it feels more like a happy positive song in my opinion.

Quote From Pro: William Smith is a talent worth watching. His vocals and melodies are commercial and interesting. Keep your eyes and ears tuned in.

Broadjam Artist: The Silvers
Song: Caribbean Christmas

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
A.J. Gundell (Songwriter, Composer, Music Supervisor, Producer)

Pro General Comments: The Silvers bring us an early Christmas present this year with this fun, funny, very clever world/reggae holiday tune with a bouncy, feel-good groove, "Caribbean Christmas." Working effectively with the song's premise that a Caribbean Christmas makes no sense, the lyric writing has some killer, laugh out loud funny lines: "Take your time and think about it man, no one builds a snowman out of sand" and "Reindeer don't like sand between their toes, Rudolph might get sunburn on his nose." Song form is a solid A-A-B-A with a hooky tag at the end of each A section and a cool B section providing some more comic as well as musical relief before returning to the A. It's also a total song-worm of a melody that stays with you long after listening. The singer and the recording hold down the song's concept nicely with the ear candy we expect: marimba loops, reggae-flavored guitar accents, and of course occasional but well-placed sleigh bells. It's really a totally infectious package that makes you want to buy this as an early Christmas present and slip it under the tree for a friend with a good sense of humor. Awesome, folks!

Quote From Pro: The Silvers bring us an early Christmas present this year with this fun, funny, very clever world/reggae holiday tune with a bouncy, feel-good groove, "Caribbean Christmas.". It's really a totally infectious package that makes you want to buy this as an early Christmas present and slip it under the tree for a friend with a good sense of humor. Awesome, folks!