Month: March 2022

Broadjam Artist: Bill Dake
Song: Before My Fall

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)

Pro General Comments: Hi Bill,I'm still with Songu.com and love working with them. I enjoyed listening to this very slightly country pop jazzy blues rendition. Cool groove and instrumentation. It was unpredictable and it kept me listening till the end. I'm not sure what the exact form is. It looks like a hybrid mix of verse/verse/bridge/verse form and verse/verse/chorus form...The third section following the first two verses sounds and feels more like a bridge but it ends with the hook which is indicative of a chorus. The last chorus doesn't use the hook until the tag. Very different arrangement and form/structure. I picked Michael Buble because I couldn't think of who else this reminded me of. Maybe Leon Redbone. I loved your rhyme scheme. Very clever internal rhyming. Overall the story is clear but I was slightly confused about the picture of you and her on the wall in this pub or bar. Why was your photo with her hanging on the wall? I loved the recording but your vocal had a little too much reverb on it for me but that is very subjective. Thanks for thinking of me and allowing me to evaluate your song. Appreciate it.

Quote From Pro: Bill Dake blends blues Jazz and pop into a very interesting hybrid sound that is very enjoyable to listen to.

Broadjam Artist: Bill Dake
Song: Before My Fall

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)

Pro General Comments: Hi Bill,I'm still with Songu.com and love working with them. I enjoyed listening to this very slightly country pop jazzy blues rendition. Cool groove and instrumentation. It was unpredictable and it kept me listening till the end. I'm not sure what the exact form is. It looks like a hybrid mix of verse/verse/bridge/verse form and verse/verse/chorus form...The third section following the first two verses sounds and feels more like a bridge but it ends with the hook which is indicative of a chorus. The last chorus doesn't use the hook until the tag. Very different arrangement and form/structure. I picked Michael Buble because I couldn't think of who else this reminded me of. Maybe Leon Redbone. I loved your rhyme scheme. Very clever internal rhyming. Overall the story is clear but I was slightly confused about the picture of you and her on the wall in this pub or bar. Why was your photo with her hanging on the wall? I loved the recording but your vocal had a little too much reverb on it for me but that is very subjective. Thanks for thinking of me and allowing me to evaluate your song. Appreciate it.

Quote From Pro: Bill Dake blends blues Jazz and pop into a very interesting hybrid sound that is very enjoyable to listen to.

Broadjam Artist: Dale Lawrence WOKEPOETS.COM
Song: UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tom Worth (Songwriter, Producer, Pro Songwriting Coach)

Pro General Comments: This is a GREAT recording and vocal performance! Well done! Your lyrics are cool, informative, and poetic...also well done. There are however some story line, tense and structure issues that can somewhat easily be fixed to make this song even stronger commercially. Let's dive into them...Overall Tense:Your verses are in past tense but your chorus is in present tense. You need to be consistent with the tense or it doesn't make sense. I would make your verses present tense to match chorus. Ex: you never (not you'd never), I look (not I looked)Verse 1 - I like these lyrics but I don't think there's enough information in it to adequately set up chorus. It only talks about her and not your relationship or why you're in undiscovered country. I think this would work great as a 2nd verse - where the storyline is already established and then this verse gives deeper details. Here's an easy solution - just swap verse 2 for verse 1! Starting with what is currently the 2nd verse will totally set up chorus better. Lyrically I would change the "said we should only be friends" line to "MAYBE we should only be friends." If they're already broken up the delaying the end and rest of song doesn't really make sense.Also - structure wise you added a new section before 2nd chorus (cause it's fine...). If you only have 6 lines in first verse you can only have 6 lines in 2nd verse. So I'd either ditch these lines or do the same thing (add lines with same music and melody) in first chorus.Chorus - love it!2nd Chorus:I would keep this the same length as 1st chorus. Your bridge is pretty long so lets get to it sooner. The song is overall pretty long - it's best keep commercial songs under 4 min. Cutting down on length of this chorus will help thatBridge:Very nice overall! I would not use the word "dream" in 3rd line because you just used it in line 1. I don't thik the "you'd never let the day.." line adds anything - I'd go right into the 3rd verse after "and we're losing.."3rd Verse:Fyi for future songs, it's uncommon commercially to have a 3rd verse AND a bridge. But I think it works here. As I said before - make it present tense not past tense to match chorus.Last chorus - love it!Again great job on this song! I hope you can take my ideas and make this song not only better but more commercial -good luck!

Quote From Pro: This is a GREAT recording and vocal performance! Well done!

Broadjam Artist: Dale Lawrence WOKEPOETS.COM
Song: UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tom Worth (Songwriter, Producer, Pro Songwriting Coach)

Pro General Comments: This is a GREAT recording and vocal performance! Well done! Your lyrics are cool, informative, and poetic...also well done. There are however some story line, tense and structure issues that can somewhat easily be fixed to make this song even stronger commercially. Let's dive into them...Overall Tense:Your verses are in past tense but your chorus is in present tense. You need to be consistent with the tense or it doesn't make sense. I would make your verses present tense to match chorus. Ex: you never (not you'd never), I look (not I looked)Verse 1 - I like these lyrics but I don't think there's enough information in it to adequately set up chorus. It only talks about her and not your relationship or why you're in undiscovered country. I think this would work great as a 2nd verse - where the storyline is already established and then this verse gives deeper details. Here's an easy solution - just swap verse 2 for verse 1! Starting with what is currently the 2nd verse will totally set up chorus better. Lyrically I would change the "said we should only be friends" line to "MAYBE we should only be friends." If they're already broken up the delaying the end and rest of song doesn't really make sense.Also - structure wise you added a new section before 2nd chorus (cause it's fine...). If you only have 6 lines in first verse you can only have 6 lines in 2nd verse. So I'd either ditch these lines or do the same thing (add lines with same music and melody) in first chorus.Chorus - love it!2nd Chorus:I would keep this the same length as 1st chorus. Your bridge is pretty long so lets get to it sooner. The song is overall pretty long - it's best keep commercial songs under 4 min. Cutting down on length of this chorus will help thatBridge:Very nice overall! I would not use the word "dream" in 3rd line because you just used it in line 1. I don't thik the "you'd never let the day.." line adds anything - I'd go right into the 3rd verse after "and we're losing.."3rd Verse:Fyi for future songs, it's uncommon commercially to have a 3rd verse AND a bridge. But I think it works here. As I said before - make it present tense not past tense to match chorus.Last chorus - love it!Again great job on this song! I hope you can take my ideas and make this song not only better but more commercial -good luck!

Quote From Pro: This is a GREAT recording and vocal performance! Well done!

Broadjam Artist: Bill Dake
Song: Little Journey

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Jason Miles (Producer, Keyboardist, Arranger)

Pro General Comments: I really don't know how to take this song. I can only divided into two parts. One the song itself and the duction of the vocals that go along together with the song. The other would be the quality of the production and what you've got going on. This song needs a lot of work. The track needs to be tighter. It's a little too loose and I don't really hear the base doing anything. The guitar should be much more structured with the parts. Vocal songs needStrong instrumental backing with focus. The chords were all over the place playing different things instead of really finding a part that would go behind the vocal. It just seemed to be like everything was very loose and if you're serious about turning the song is the same thing it just can't be like that. You've got a structure part you gotta have this thing really tight. Drums had absolutely no impact on this song at all and they should obviously you are a clever guy to be able to post something like this together however to make it work is something else. The vocals are all all over the place and they need to be focused better as well. At times you have a good attitude And that should be happening throughout the whole song. The vocal doesn't take me somewhere it just kind of hangs around. Believe me I'm not here to criticize I'm here to help and I'm trying to help by telling you things that need to happen if this song is going to do anything. I doubt that any artist would listen to this in this condition and say oh yes I want to do this song. So as you see you definitely have some more work to do on this. It's just not ready yet for the grand opening

Quote From Pro: The potential for this song is here. There is a certain creativeness that shows this song is not a possibility.

Broadjam Artist: allison bolton
Song: glory to Ukraine

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Chris Keaton (Music Publisher, Artist Manager, Song Plugger)

Pro General Comments: I like the spirit of this song. We desperately need artists who will stand up to war and all things wrong. From the opening guitar and harmonica riffs, I felt this song would be special. The plaintive vocal pleads and pulls at the heartstrings while remain strong, encouraging us to stand shoulder to shoulder in defense of freedom.However, I do feel the title could be tweaked. I offered a suggestion but even that is not string enough. The challenge I offer you is to come up with a title that encourages people to listen and take action. (I actually LOVE the outdo lines "WE ALL STAND WITH UKRAINE! GLORY TO UKRAINE" and wonder if they could enter earlier and be repeated throughout the songNearly daily I read journalists begging for artists to lead the way. Back in the day, art lead the world and, to this listener, the time has come once again. Perhaps this Allison Bolton number can break through and unite the world against the evils of war. Unjust war at that!Technically, the tracks are very strong. The recording is tight, effective and professional. The vocal os out front, clearly heard. The mix is professional and to my ears does not need any changes at all. The instrumentation is genre appropriate and although it's clearly a throwback to "protest" songs it never gets preachy or "holier than thou"The song sounds radio ready and all set either for release, as is, or covered by a caring artist. The inspiration to write this is acknowledged and appreciated by me. The time is right for this song!WE ALL STAND WITH UKRAINE! GLORY TO UKRAINE, INDEED!!

Quote From Pro: This patriotic love song to Ukraine and her global supporters has the ability to lift spirits, unite, and motivate. It absolutely deserves to be heard.WE ALL STAND WITH UKRAINE! GLORY TO UKRAINE

Broadjam Artist: allison bolton
Song: NO REASON AT ALL

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Chris Keaton (Music Publisher, Artist Manager, Song Plugger)

Pro General Comments: I like the spirit of this song. We desperately need artists who will stand up to war and all things wrong. From the opening guitar and harmonica riffs, I felt this song would be special. The plaintive vocal pleads and pulls at the heartstrings while remain strong, encouraging us to stand shoulder to shoulder in defense of freedom.However, I do feel the title could be tweaked. I offered a suggestion but even that is not string enough. The challenge I offer you is to come up with a title that encourages people to listen and take action. (I actually LOVE the outdo lines "WE ALL STAND WITH UKRAINE! GLORY TO UKRAINE" and wonder if they could enter earlier and be repeated throughout the songNearly daily I read journalists begging for artists to lead the way. Back in the day, art lead the world and, to this listener, the time has come once again. Perhaps this Allison Bolton number can break through and unite the world against the evils of war. Unjust war at that!Technically, the tracks are very strong. The recording is tight, effective and professional. The vocal os out front, clearly heard. The mix is professional and to my ears does not need any changes at all. The instrumentation is genre appropriate and although it's clearly a throwback to "protest" songs it never gets preachy or "holier than thou"The song sounds radio ready and all set either for release, as is, or covered by a caring artist. The inspiration to write this is acknowledged and appreciated by me. The time is right for this song!WE ALL STAND WITH UKRAINE! GLORY TO UKRAINE, INDEED!!

Quote From Pro: This patriotic love song to Ukraine and her global supporters has the ability to lift spirits, unite, and motivate. It absolutely deserves to be heard.WE ALL STAND WITH UKRAINE! GLORY TO UKRAINE

Broadjam Artist: Evan Pace
Song: Don't Tip Toe (around my heart)

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Jonathan Weiss (Music Supervisor, A&R)

Pro General Comments: Upbeat and energetic female vocal pop song with some Latin flairs. Solid arrangement and sectional contrast happening between verse and chorus sections. The dynamics between verse and chorus are mixed appropriately so that the energy of the chorus section really ramps up. Professional and soulful female lead and background vocals help to convey the lyrical message in the song. Inventive background vocal arrangement helps to elevate the song's emotional energy as well. Lyrically this kind of theme is not unique, but the verses are able to give it an original take on this familiar sounding take on love gone wrong so to speak. I like the conga drum track that begin the song, along with the horn stab. They synth line and sample that comes in at 0:07 could stand to be updated in terms of it having a contemporary production quality to it. It has a very "reedy," sound to it which is quite reminiscent of 90's synths. I think this track has potential in the film/tv synch world if a production was looking for a 90's sounding Latin pop type track a la Pointer Sisters/Gloria Estefan as an example when producers could not afford major label masters and publishing.

Quote From Pro: Solid production, lead vocals and arrangement in this Latin tinged pop song. The track could have some potential in the synch world when trying to replace similar sounding major label artists.

Broadjam Artist: Charles Edmund Carter
Song: Ballad of Wally Funk

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Nikki Hornsby (Songwriter, Artist, Producer, Arranger)

Pro General Comments: The music is typical funk tempo with the sax intro I really do love too. The story Ballad of Wally Funk may not be relatable to younger generations about someone born in 1939. It's actually a folk story song and may appeal to those who do know who Chuck Yeager was for commercial releasing for purchasing. "Funky Fly Girl "or "Funky Flight Girl" might be another choice title too. I know this older woman went on that maiden flight. It's actually a catchy name Wally Funk. Maybe that music transition to break away with the Hollywood brass horns you might want to review again but it'll do the way it is now. The song really is a great tribute to older women who have seen her dreams come true. Repeating the name "wally funk" is a great hook tied to the funky music style ending. Stays in the listeners head. That way IF the person doesn't know who Wally Funk is they might look it up as my younger assistant did yesterday. That helps history of women in flight.

Quote From Pro: This is a true funky story aka tribute song. I listened again once with an assistant yesterday who I told later the hook of name "wally funk" kept coming back repeating over in my head. The result is WF is a fun song. Great song for submission next year to the women international day here in the USA. I can see a parade of women in a line with this playing with dancers choreographed to moving to the tempo and smiles. Thank you for sharing again your work. Keep writing using your songwriting talents I've been honored to enjoy as you share with Broadjam pro reviewers. Looking forward to more in 2022 too!

Broadjam Artist: Charles Edmund Carter
Song: Ballad of Wally Funk

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Nikki Hornsby (Songwriter, Artist, Producer, Arranger)

Pro General Comments: The music is typical funk tempo with the sax intro I really do love too. The story Ballad of Wally Funk may not be relatable to younger generations about someone born in 1939. It's actually a folk story song and may appeal to those who do know who Chuck Yeager was for commercial releasing for purchasing. "Funky Fly Girl "or "Funky Flight Girl" might be another choice title too. I know this older woman went on that maiden flight. It's actually a catchy name Wally Funk. Maybe that music transition to break away with the Hollywood brass horns you might want to review again but it'll do the way it is now. The song really is a great tribute to older women who have seen her dreams come true. Repeating the name "wally funk" is a great hook tied to the funky music style ending. Stays in the listeners head. That way IF the person doesn't know who Wally Funk is they might look it up as my younger assistant did yesterday. That helps history of women in flight.

Quote From Pro: This is a true funky story aka tribute song. I listened again once with an assistant yesterday who I told later the hook of name "wally funk" kept coming back repeating over in my head. The result is WF is a fun song. Great song for submission next year to the women international day here in the USA. I can see a parade of women in a line with this playing with dancers choreographed to moving to the tempo and smiles. Thank you for sharing again your work. Keep writing using your songwriting talents I've been honored to enjoy as you share with Broadjam pro reviewers. Looking forward to more in 2022 too!