Tomorrow final 5B by Collaborations

Broadjam Artist: CollaborationsSong: Tomorrow final 5BBroadjam Pro Reviewer: Diana Williamson (Songwriter, Music Supervisor)Pro General Comments: Please note: I don’t comment on quality of individual instrumentation as my expertise delves more into ove…

Collaborations

Broadjam Artist: Collaborations
Song: Tomorrow final 5B

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Diana Williamson (Songwriter, Music Supervisor)

Pro General Comments: Please note: I don't comment on quality of individual instrumentation as my expertise delves more into overall performance, marketing, melody, etc Let me start by saying you have a great feel to your song. The vocals have good conviction in them, which keeps the flow moving nicely and keeps you into the song. You believe the singers. You have a very strong sense of song structure, it moves like it should throughout and holds your attention. The arrangements are effective and ebb and flow like they should. Your lyrics are universal and this helps greatly with pitching to various media opportunities. The lyrics summarize like they should with a strong point in the bridge - when you say the good will win out. This is an important point to make and offers a sense of needed hope to a serious subject. Doom and gloom doesn't sell as well, so it's always a good idea to offer that in your theme. Music is a great way to express these types of ideas in a way to make people think without hitting them over the head with it. Your delivery is good as it doesn't feel like you are talking down or preaching and this isn't always easy to pull off in a song with this type of theme.Small point- but you might want to make the title a tad more provocative so it stands out in a stack of songs on a music supervisor's desk? Or maybe not, just a suggestion. The more precise you are- the easier it is for them to recall it, when looking for a song in their database.

Quote From Pro: Tomorrow has great potential for film/TV show placements especially those looking for duets.

I Can See The Day by Peter Boynton

Broadjam Artist: Peter BoyntonSong: I Can See The DayBroadjam Pro Reviewer: Doug Diamond (Music Supervisor, Engineer, Producer, Composer )Pro General Comments: Hi Peter -Wow, what a cool tune. Thanks for telling me about it. Love it. This is the only s…

Peter Boynton

Broadjam Artist: Peter Boynton
Song: I Can See The Day

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Doug Diamond (Music Supervisor, Engineer, Producer, Composer )

Pro General Comments: Hi Peter -Wow, what a cool tune. Thanks for telling me about it. Love it. This is the only song of yours that I'm aware of hearing and to me, it sounds like a very edgy, Hard Rock song - and I was surprised to see you are more of a Country writer (if I understand correctly). Pretty crazy! This song though, is really, really good. The production value - all instrumentation and the arrangements, as well as all performances are just spot-on. It sounds like something that could easily be on the radio, as far as the quality goes. Good job on your production of it for sure. Also, good job on the songwriting. I really like the overall theme of the song and the main melody/hook it has as well. It sticks with me after I finish listening to it, which is a great thing to have your song be able to do. I'd be interested to know if this is your first foray into writing Rock, or if you've just had more success with Country? I gave your song the highest ratings in all categories because it deserves it. I only took off a slight bit on "Quality of the Lyrics" - not because anything was 'wrong', but because I would have loved to hear a version of the Bridge with lyrics. Don't get me wrong, I really like what you have for the Bridge, but it's too short. I'd keep the instrumental part, then have another couple lines after it, maybe repeating/building on the instrumental bridge idea. I think the story/plot/idea of the lyric really needs some further revelation during the Bridge - something that explains what the singer is going through. That's the only thing that's missing in my opinion. I like the idea of the dystopic thematic song... for sure... I could hear it in a "Hunger Games" scene, or something similar (for instance). It is an original piece (meaning unique). One of my favorite bands is Imagine Dragons. It kind of reminds me of some of their songs too. The thing that's always bothered me about their songs though is that I don't feel like the production and quality of the recordings and mixes are as good as they should be, given the artist and their reach. They're huge! Your song, however, the production value seems complete. Nice job. I like the dynamics it has: laid back verses, building pre-chorus, and huge choruses/hooks. Overall, this is an excellent submission and I'd like to help you however I can. Couple ideas I heard... man, I LOVE the percussion at the end. Maybe have an alt mix of this song with more of that stuff going, front-and-center. So good. Also, when the song's ending, before the percussion, I am kind of hearing a slow-down/triplet/slow-down thing, like you're shutting off the engine, kind of. Does that make sense? Might be cool. Kind of a chug-a-chug-a-chug thing at the end. Just a thought.

Quote From Pro: "I Can See The Day" is such an excellent song on every level. I could definitely hear it in name-your-favorite dystopic TV show or film. The quality of it is stellar. It deserves to be sync licensed for sure. Nice job!

AWAKE by SAMSARA.

Broadjam Artist: SAMSARA.Song: AWAKEBroadjam Pro Reviewer: Mitch Goldfarb (Producer)Pro General Comments: Up, down, and all around. Strap yourself in. “Awake” is the quintessential sonic ride. You’ll leave the planet flying through space guided only by…

SAMSARA.

Broadjam Artist: SAMSARA.
Song: AWAKE

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Mitch Goldfarb (Producer)

Pro General Comments: Up, down, and all around. Strap yourself in. "Awake" is the quintessential sonic ride. You'll leave the planet flying through space guided only by the melodic, liquid floaty guitars... until the pounding drums and screaming guitars crush it, blasting you out beyond the stratosphere to the edge of the galaxy. Are you "Awake" yet? It's a cosmos of contrast, brilliantly executed.While being more experimental than their usual musical compositions, Samsara has succeeded in pushing the envelope of their creative expression. And boy do they do it. This track has it all. There's passionate intimacy in the verse vocals, leading to a wide, open, and expansive chorus. And, if that's not enough, there's a special treat waiting in the breakdown. It's an artfully crafted dream sequence of sounds and musical textures until the guitars explode so big you can see the stars flying everywhere. Then you know... "this can't go on!" to quote their lyric.Samsara isn't fooling around. They know exactly what they're doing. And they're doing it so well. There's so much raw emotion in the performances. It's everything a song should be.

Quote From Pro: Up, down, and all around. Strap yourself in. "Awake" is the quintessential sonic ride. Samsara has succeeded in pushing the envelope of their creative expression. They know exactly what they're doing. And they're doing it so well. This track has it all!

ADDICT by SAMSARA.

Broadjam Artist: SAMSARA.Song: ADDICTBroadjam Pro Reviewer: Mitch Goldfarb (Producer)Pro General Comments: Wow! Punk meets hard rock meets metal, complete with a driving dance groove too. You just gotta bang your head with the pounding drums from begin…

SAMSARA.

Broadjam Artist: SAMSARA.
Song: ADDICT

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Mitch Goldfarb (Producer)

Pro General Comments: Wow! Punk meets hard rock meets metal, complete with a driving dance groove too. You just gotta bang your head with the pounding drums from beginning to end. Give me more of those guitars! You'll be addicted to "Addict." The track goes by in a blink of an eye. You can't get enough in one listen. Just take one more hit and play it again. The relentless guitars are only pushed over the top by the powerful lead vocal. You can feel the singer's pain. You can't fake this kind of performance. It's the real deal. Samsara not only blows the dust off the speakers, the speakers start to dance off the shelves too. Better nail those babies down. And don't forget to use earbuds too. There's tons of good bottom end to get you moving.Great guitar solo and I love the pulsing bass. There's something familiar with "Addict," but you can't quite put your finger on. You'll love this song. It hits you right in the face.Fly away with Samsara. This track has everything. These guys are tight, aggressive, great vocals and the music is right on time.

Quote From Pro: Wow! Punk meets hard rock meets metal. Give me more of those guitars, which are pushed over the top by the powerful lead vocal. Samsara blows the dust off the speakers You'll be addicted to "Addict." These guys are tight, aggressive, and the music is right on time.

NEVERMIND by SAMSARA.

Broadjam Artist: SAMSARA.Song: NEVERMINDBroadjam Pro Reviewer: Mitch Goldfarb (Producer)Pro General Comments: Explosive right out of the gate. Just press play and the sweeping guitars in the Intro sets the tone for “Nevermind,” which is nothing but rel…

SAMSARA.

Broadjam Artist: SAMSARA.
Song: NEVERMIND

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Mitch Goldfarb (Producer)

Pro General Comments: Explosive right out of the gate. Just press play and the sweeping guitars in the Intro sets the tone for "Nevermind," which is nothing but relentless. This track is a hard driving rocker that won't quit. You can't sit still and listen to this one. Great vocals are full of powerful emotions, surrounded by a kick ass band. Fat doesn't even begin to describe their awesome guitar sounds, ripping up the speakers. The track builds and build and builds. Talk about creative - Samsara has redefined what a solo is all about. In my mind, I can see the guitar players diving across the stage, riff after riff. The music becomes visual. You have to hear it to believe it. In fact, listen twice. There's so much of magic going on you cannot catch it all the first time around. This tune is the perfect concert screamer. And it's not for the faint at heart. Flick your lighter and dance away with the crowd. Samsara killed it with this one. "Nevermind" won't let you go! Give it a listen and you'll see what I mean. You will be a fan before the track ends!

Quote From Pro: "Nevermind" is a relentless hard driving rocker that won't quit. This tune is a concert screamer. Not for the faint at heart. Samsara killed it with this one. Give it a listen and you'll be a fan before the track ends!

FILTHY HABIT by SAMSARA.

Broadjam Artist: SAMSARA.Song: FILTHY HABITBroadjam Pro Reviewer: Mitch Goldfarb (Producer)Pro General Comments: A big bombastic sound! And that’s just the beginning. “Filthy Habit” is just that… a Filthy Habit you can’t get enough of it. Play it aga…

SAMSARA.

Broadjam Artist: SAMSARA.
Song: FILTHY HABIT

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Mitch Goldfarb (Producer)

Pro General Comments: A big bombastic sound! And that's just the beginning. "Filthy Habit" is just that... a Filthy Habit you can't get enough of it. Play it again and again and turn it up LOUD! Killer guitar riffs with FAT sounds drive the track through and through. Add some skull crushing tom toms in the verse and you're all set for this wild roller coaster ride. Did I mention GREAT VOCALS? You can feel the angst in them along with a payoff chorus of background vocals that just doesn't quit. But that's not everything. The track sounds great! "Filthy Habit" is the perfect song for an action movie soundtrack. You can almost see the chase scene, cars screeching around those hairpin curves, hanging on for dear life. A special shout out to the bass, which is a ride in and of itself. The song keeps giving more and more. There are lots of cool surprises along the way with this track. Wait to you hear the breakdown. You just can't sit still. Toes tapping all the way. Just put it on repeat play and call it a day. Great job Samsara!

Quote From Pro: Big bombastic sound! You can't get enough of this track. Perfect for an action movie. Put "Filthy Habit" on repeat play and call it a day. Great job Samsara!

Echoes From The Past by Dave Peeler

Broadjam Artist: Dave PeelerSong: Echoes From The PastBroadjam Pro Reviewer: Tom Worth (Songwriter, Producer, Pro Songwriting Coach)Pro General Comments: Please refer to this more than the checks above.This is a very nice song. Addresses a topic so ma…

Dave Peeler

Broadjam Artist: Dave Peeler
Song: Echoes From The Past

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tom Worth (Songwriter, Producer, Pro Songwriting Coach)

Pro General Comments: Please refer to this more than the checks above.This is a very nice song. Addresses a topic so many of us go through. Well done! That being said - I think some of the lyrics could be stronger with the goal of being more commercial (following the unwritten songwriting rules).Production, chords, melody, singer are all PERFECT. Wow great work. Is that Tim Bupert singing by chance???I have a lot of suggestions, but don't confuse that with thinking this song is way off -JUST THE OPPOSITE - it's so close and good I want to make it even better.From a songwriting standpoint - the rhyme scheme in the 2nd verse is different than the other verses (3rd line is missing internal rhyme). This is a red flag to music industry people and an easy fix so I'd address. I'd go with a rhyme scheme where lines 1, 2 and 4 rhyme, and line 3 has the internal rhyme. You can either keep or get rid of internal rhyme in line 4. I'll get into why later...Verse 1:I LOVE the first line. But I think the 2nd line needs to continue the idea of "bouncing off the moon" otherwise the bouncing off the moon comes off as a little random. I think what's missing is the idea of the echoes bouncing off the moon...and then coming back to you. You could address that in 2nd line by saying something like:Coming back to me of a life that was over much too soon (I know that's wordy - just giving you an example)I think you can beat "no matter what we do." Again ,I don't think you need this internal rhyme, so maybe say something like:And it is just so quiet here now that it's just me and youChorus:I don't think you need the 2nd to last line (Those echoes keep on coming through). It doesn't add much and makes the chorus a bit long. And moon rhymes with cool so you don't need it for rhyming. If you do indeed eliminate that line, I would alter last line to be "THESE echoes from the past bounding off the moon"As for the examples (kids 1st day of school etc), they're great, but when I think of echoes I think of sounds. Ideally I'd re-write those lines (using same rhyme sound so it will also rhyme with moon) but focus either all or in part on sounds. Sounds of kids playing etc.Verse 21st line I'd suggest "..is all we seem to do." Just sounds more accurate to me. For 3rd line I don't like saying the word "do" again (that's part of the reason I recommended at beginning this line not rhyming with lines 1,2 and 4). You could say something like:They've gone...guess we need to move onVerse 3:It's a good rule of thumb to not use the same word more than once in a section (important words that is) - and you're using the words echo and memories more than once. Ideas to fix:1st line - great2nd line - but the memories they stay in every empty room3rd line -they'll always and forever be the biggest part of you and me4th line - I'd completely re write this as you don't want to overdo the echoes/moon thingLast line - I wonder if it be more impactful to say "these" echoes from the moon?Great work on this song - I hope my suggestions will inspire you to make it even better!

Quote From Pro: A beautiful song that will hit close to home to any empty nester. Bravo.

Echoes From The Past by Dave Peeler

Broadjam Artist: Dave PeelerSong: Echoes From The PastBroadjam Pro Reviewer: Doug Diamond (Music Supervisor, Engineer, Producer, Composer )Pro General Comments: Hi Dave -Thanks to you and Mike from Broadjam for letting me know about your tune. I really…

Dave Peeler

Broadjam Artist: Dave Peeler
Song: Echoes From The Past

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Doug Diamond (Music Supervisor, Engineer, Producer, Composer )

Pro General Comments: Hi Dave -Thanks to you and Mike from Broadjam for letting me know about your tune. I really enjoyed listening to it. I think you have done a really good job of capturing a sentiment and feeling for a part of life that tends to get overlooked in the songwriting world: the empty nest. I can't really think of any other songs that tackle that subject matter, let alone do it with the style and class that you have with your song. I really like it. All of the performances and the production value of the song are really good. It sounds like something you *could* hear on the radio... which is great. I often tell people that "We (music pros) want to be able to mistake your song for something that might be on the radio". If it's that type of quality, that's a huge first hurdle to placing it - that most do not get right. I think you have done that. The only thing I can think of that I might change are the drums. They are good, but I would like them to be beefier-sounding and more realistic / upfront in the mix. Not sure if it's a program/loop or a human. If it's not a real person, perhaps that's the best thing to address. To me, if there is any weak point in the production, it would be that.There aren't really too many writing tips I can give you to make it "better" (i.e. more licensable or universal/to a wider audience). Lyrically, it all works fine. It does seem to get a little verbose in a couple spots - like you're trying to squeeze in too many words - instead of flowing like it should. But that's only really in a place or two. I noticed it at 2:37 in the line, "...and echo through their empty rooms". It works, but it seems kind of rushed to me. A minor point though. Overall, it is really well done. Nice work.

Quote From Pro: "Echoes From The Past" is the best 'empty nest' song I know of. Dave does an excellent job of capturing the sentiment and different feelings you might have in this much-overlooked area of life. Good hook too. Way to go, Dave, nice work!

The Sky is Falling by Wilson Flores

Broadjam Artist: Wilson FloresSong: The Sky is FallingBroadjam Pro Reviewer: Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)Pro General Comments: Wilson,Pretty much everyone who is over 50 knows about Chicken Little and the sky is falling but the problem is…

Wilson Flores

Broadjam Artist: Wilson Flores
Song: The Sky is Falling

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)

Pro General Comments: Wilson,Pretty much everyone who is over 50 knows about Chicken Little and the sky is falling but the problem is very few young people will know this reference. That might not be important but it's my job to point it out. The sound of your kick drum is weak and not up to par with what's out there now. Google your genre and compare the sounds. The same with your bass. I like the line the bass is playing but the sound isn't working for me. Try other sounds for a bass and kick drum that are more in line with today's pop electro. Always include a lyric sheet so the evaluator can comment on the rhyme scheme etc. The meter sounded good and the phrasing sounded good but I'd have to listen multiple times to make out what you were singing...I did like the sound of the keyboard synth but it was a little retro...Your singing could be enhanced with a vocalizer or pitch control...there were absolutely no effects on your vocal at all that I could hear...my best advice is try as many options as you can till you find the sounds and effects that give your song the best chance of success. This song needs more work in my opinion to be competitive and commercial.

Quote From Pro: Wilson Flores is combining the retro electro sounds of house EDM and techno with todays lyrics.

Run Out of Time by Paul Reidy

Broadjam Artist: Paul ReidySong: Run Out of TimeBroadjam Pro Reviewer: Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)Pro General Comments: I know this is just a demo but having a female sing it in first person suggests the song is about her. My first comme…

Paul Reidy

Broadjam Artist: Paul Reidy
Song: Run Out of Time

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)

Pro General Comments: I know this is just a demo but having a female sing it in first person suggests the song is about her. My first comment is about the hook and how it is used. My preference if I'm only going to use the hook once is to end the song with the hook so it's the last thing my listener will hear and remember. In this case you start a fairly long chorus with the hook and never use it again. That's not the strongest use in my opinion. Start and end with it if possible. Keep in mind your listener won't have the benefit of reading your comments and questions below. They will only be listening to your lyric. My second comment on the lyric I had to speculate what the end was. Was it the end of a relationship. It didn't dawn on me it was death until she said they'll fold a flag say a short prayer. The fact that there's a flag suggests she was a soldier who was killed in a war or attack of some king maybe in Afghanistan. She's dead and she's singing the song in first person as a spirit or ghost. This is very unusual and the probability of finding someone to sing a song referring to them being dead in front of their fans friends and family is not very high in my opinion. The lyric suggests he or she was severely injured and Doctors told her the end was near. The story is sad and gloomy in my opinion. There's no mention of him or her feeling good about her sacrifice for the country or for their family. No mention of faith or an afterlife in Heaven etc. I'm not sure what the message is in this song. Is it we don't always get to choose how or when we're going to die? OK after reading your comments now I understand the story behind the song but it would be beneficial to put the real facts in the storyline somewhere. Musically this is very well done. Good vocal and great guitar work.

Quote From Pro: Paul Reidy writes about people and things that have touched him in his life. His heartfelt words and music will have an impact.