Broadjam Pro Song Reviews

Broadjam Artist: Betty Lyles
Song: Prayer Time

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Malik Williams (Producer, Artist, Engineer, Composer)

Pro General Comments: Hello Betty,Thank you for the opportunity to review your work. I can really appreciate the theme behind this song. It was easy-listening and positively refreshing!I look the overall blend of your vocal, the movement of the bass in a more electronic performance was really interesting to me. The chorus vocals were performed and recorded well. You have a nice texture to your voice. The chorus lyrics work really well and your vocal tone is hopeful and dreamy that fits the lyrical theme of the song.I was surprised then the rap came in, in the verse. The male rap gave it a different and interesting way. I was looking for a verse 2 rap as well. Maybe you should consider that. No other artist really came to mind when I started listening. I liked the blend of musical styles between the echoed bass, female chorus vocals and male rap. The guitar parts are played nicely as well. It's an interesting blend of R&B or Pop music. Regarding the production on the song... in my opinion, the lead vocal sounds good in relation to the rap verse. The vocals are produced in a simple fashion that works for this song. The bottom end - Kick and bass could be fatter/wider, and up in the mix to blend better with the mid-range keys and guitar. The arrangement of the song could use a second verse and smoother musical ending. The drum programming, bass line and instrumentation works well for this song. I was mostly pointing out mix issues that could be tweaked. Sometimes finding the right sounds is most of the battle. If you have limited choices, then tweaking the individual instruments in your mix will generally do the trick. Referencing the mix on different speakers is typically necessary - Something to think about trying if you choose to re-mix this song, or at least ideas to keep in mind for the next song. Good luck!

Quote From Pro: I can really appreciate the theme behind this song. It was easy-listening and positively refreshing!

Broadjam Artist: Betty Lyles
Song: Prayer Time

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Malik Williams (Producer, Artist, Engineer, Composer)

Pro General Comments: Hello Betty,Thank you for the opportunity to review your work. I can really appreciate the theme behind this song. It was easy-listening and positively refreshing!I look the overall blend of your vocal, the movement of the bass in a more electronic performance was really interesting to me. The chorus vocals were performed and recorded well. You have a nice texture to your voice. The chorus lyrics work really well and your vocal tone is hopeful and dreamy that fits the lyrical theme of the song.I was surprised then the rap came in, in the verse. The male rap gave it a different and interesting way. I was looking for a verse 2 rap as well. Maybe you should consider that. No other artist really came to mind when I started listening. I liked the blend of musical styles between the echoed bass, female chorus vocals and male rap. The guitar parts are played nicely as well. It's an interesting blend of R&B or Pop music. Regarding the production on the song... in my opinion, the lead vocal sounds good in relation to the rap verse. The vocals are produced in a simple fashion that works for this song. The bottom end - Kick and bass could be fatter/wider, and up in the mix to blend better with the mid-range keys and guitar. The arrangement of the song could use a second verse and smoother musical ending. The drum programming, bass line and instrumentation works well for this song. I was mostly pointing out mix issues that could be tweaked. Sometimes finding the right sounds is most of the battle. If you have limited choices, then tweaking the individual instruments in your mix will generally do the trick. Referencing the mix on different speakers is typically necessary - Something to think about trying if you choose to re-mix this song, or at least ideas to keep in mind for the next song. Good luck!

Quote From Pro: I can really appreciate the theme behind this song. It was easy-listening and positively refreshing!

Broadjam Artist: Dale Lawrence WOKEPOETS.COM
Song: PRETZEL LOGIK

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tom Worth (Songwriter, Producer, Pro Songwriting Coach)

Pro General Comments: Another pro sounding track - recording is radio ready!I like everything about the recording/vocals/mix. Rhyme schemes, song structure, phrasing are all great. I like the double verse but then just a single verse after 1st chorus. You clearly know what you're doing!Lyrics are very good! I have a few suggestions...Verse 1It's good as is, but I think it could be even better by being more specific. For example - instead of "loved him from the start" maybe something like "loves him with all her heart." I know it's 1 more syllable but I think that (or something like it) paints a deeper picture of the girl. Similarly, I'd like to see you dig a little deeper than "tear their world apart." I know it's only 9 syllables but if possible I'd love to hear something more specific. Even a subtle change like "and someday he'll tear her world apart." Verse 2Very cool 2nd line "casting couch" but I don't think people will get it. I had to think about it. This is such a relevant and important story that I'd rather it be clear that cool. That being said maybe just say "Casting call." Chorus is great! Love the hook.Verse 3Overall I love it - but the first line kind of implies he's never had enough to eat his entire life which probably isn't true. I think it'd be more representative and real to say something like "there's a ghost on the street (love that by the way) just looking for something to eat." I know that doesn't sing well but something like that. 2nd line - I don't think you need the word "and" before "he's doing time."Bridge:I like it...but I'm afraid it's sounding a bit preachy and judgmental to more people than just the ass holes doing the bad things you've discussed in lyrics. I'd consider re writing this section. Maybe something along the idea of we all (good and bad people) have the pretzel logic in our mind but most are able to deal with it while others use it as an excuse to do the bad things you're referring to in verses. Another approach would be talking like a super hero vigilante or something to get rid of these jerks. I say that because of the next section where you talk about cyanide.3rd ChorusI'd switch the order of the next two 4 line sections. In other words, have the original chorus after bridge and then add on the "you can shoot 'em in the back..." section.I hope this helps. Great writing, singing, production, etc!! Keep up the GREAT work!

Quote From Pro: Another pro sounding track - recording is radio ready!

Broadjam Artist: Dale Lawrence WOKEPOETS.COM
Song: PRETZEL LOGIK

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tom Worth (Songwriter, Producer, Pro Songwriting Coach)

Pro General Comments: Another pro sounding track - recording is radio ready!I like everything about the recording/vocals/mix. Rhyme schemes, song structure, phrasing are all great. I like the double verse but then just a single verse after 1st chorus. You clearly know what you're doing!Lyrics are very good! I have a few suggestions...Verse 1It's good as is, but I think it could be even better by being more specific. For example - instead of "loved him from the start" maybe something like "loves him with all her heart." I know it's 1 more syllable but I think that (or something like it) paints a deeper picture of the girl. Similarly, I'd like to see you dig a little deeper than "tear their world apart." I know it's only 9 syllables but if possible I'd love to hear something more specific. Even a subtle change like "and someday he'll tear her world apart." Verse 2Very cool 2nd line "casting couch" but I don't think people will get it. I had to think about it. This is such a relevant and important story that I'd rather it be clear that cool. That being said maybe just say "Casting call." Chorus is great! Love the hook.Verse 3Overall I love it - but the first line kind of implies he's never had enough to eat his entire life which probably isn't true. I think it'd be more representative and real to say something like "there's a ghost on the street (love that by the way) just looking for something to eat." I know that doesn't sing well but something like that. 2nd line - I don't think you need the word "and" before "he's doing time."Bridge:I like it...but I'm afraid it's sounding a bit preachy and judgmental to more people than just the ass holes doing the bad things you've discussed in lyrics. I'd consider re writing this section. Maybe something along the idea of we all (good and bad people) have the pretzel logic in our mind but most are able to deal with it while others use it as an excuse to do the bad things you're referring to in verses. Another approach would be talking like a super hero vigilante or something to get rid of these jerks. I say that because of the next section where you talk about cyanide.3rd ChorusI'd switch the order of the next two 4 line sections. In other words, have the original chorus after bridge and then add on the "you can shoot 'em in the back..." section.I hope this helps. Great writing, singing, production, etc!! Keep up the GREAT work!

Quote From Pro: Another pro sounding track - recording is radio ready!

Broadjam Artist: Bill Dake
Song: Before My Fall

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)

Pro General Comments: Hi Bill,I'm still with Songu.com and love working with them. I enjoyed listening to this very slightly country pop jazzy blues rendition. Cool groove and instrumentation. It was unpredictable and it kept me listening till the end. I'm not sure what the exact form is. It looks like a hybrid mix of verse/verse/bridge/verse form and verse/verse/chorus form...The third section following the first two verses sounds and feels more like a bridge but it ends with the hook which is indicative of a chorus. The last chorus doesn't use the hook until the tag. Very different arrangement and form/structure. I picked Michael Buble because I couldn't think of who else this reminded me of. Maybe Leon Redbone. I loved your rhyme scheme. Very clever internal rhyming. Overall the story is clear but I was slightly confused about the picture of you and her on the wall in this pub or bar. Why was your photo with her hanging on the wall? I loved the recording but your vocal had a little too much reverb on it for me but that is very subjective. Thanks for thinking of me and allowing me to evaluate your song. Appreciate it.

Quote From Pro: Bill Dake blends blues Jazz and pop into a very interesting hybrid sound that is very enjoyable to listen to.

Broadjam Artist: Bill Dake
Song: Before My Fall

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)

Pro General Comments: Hi Bill,I'm still with Songu.com and love working with them. I enjoyed listening to this very slightly country pop jazzy blues rendition. Cool groove and instrumentation. It was unpredictable and it kept me listening till the end. I'm not sure what the exact form is. It looks like a hybrid mix of verse/verse/bridge/verse form and verse/verse/chorus form...The third section following the first two verses sounds and feels more like a bridge but it ends with the hook which is indicative of a chorus. The last chorus doesn't use the hook until the tag. Very different arrangement and form/structure. I picked Michael Buble because I couldn't think of who else this reminded me of. Maybe Leon Redbone. I loved your rhyme scheme. Very clever internal rhyming. Overall the story is clear but I was slightly confused about the picture of you and her on the wall in this pub or bar. Why was your photo with her hanging on the wall? I loved the recording but your vocal had a little too much reverb on it for me but that is very subjective. Thanks for thinking of me and allowing me to evaluate your song. Appreciate it.

Quote From Pro: Bill Dake blends blues Jazz and pop into a very interesting hybrid sound that is very enjoyable to listen to.

Broadjam Artist: Dale Lawrence WOKEPOETS.COM
Song: UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tom Worth (Songwriter, Producer, Pro Songwriting Coach)

Pro General Comments: This is a GREAT recording and vocal performance! Well done! Your lyrics are cool, informative, and poetic...also well done. There are however some story line, tense and structure issues that can somewhat easily be fixed to make this song even stronger commercially. Let's dive into them...Overall Tense:Your verses are in past tense but your chorus is in present tense. You need to be consistent with the tense or it doesn't make sense. I would make your verses present tense to match chorus. Ex: you never (not you'd never), I look (not I looked)Verse 1 - I like these lyrics but I don't think there's enough information in it to adequately set up chorus. It only talks about her and not your relationship or why you're in undiscovered country. I think this would work great as a 2nd verse - where the storyline is already established and then this verse gives deeper details. Here's an easy solution - just swap verse 2 for verse 1! Starting with what is currently the 2nd verse will totally set up chorus better. Lyrically I would change the "said we should only be friends" line to "MAYBE we should only be friends." If they're already broken up the delaying the end and rest of song doesn't really make sense.Also - structure wise you added a new section before 2nd chorus (cause it's fine...). If you only have 6 lines in first verse you can only have 6 lines in 2nd verse. So I'd either ditch these lines or do the same thing (add lines with same music and melody) in first chorus.Chorus - love it!2nd Chorus:I would keep this the same length as 1st chorus. Your bridge is pretty long so lets get to it sooner. The song is overall pretty long - it's best keep commercial songs under 4 min. Cutting down on length of this chorus will help thatBridge:Very nice overall! I would not use the word "dream" in 3rd line because you just used it in line 1. I don't thik the "you'd never let the day.." line adds anything - I'd go right into the 3rd verse after "and we're losing.."3rd Verse:Fyi for future songs, it's uncommon commercially to have a 3rd verse AND a bridge. But I think it works here. As I said before - make it present tense not past tense to match chorus.Last chorus - love it!Again great job on this song! I hope you can take my ideas and make this song not only better but more commercial -good luck!

Quote From Pro: This is a GREAT recording and vocal performance! Well done!

Broadjam Artist: Dale Lawrence WOKEPOETS.COM
Song: UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tom Worth (Songwriter, Producer, Pro Songwriting Coach)

Pro General Comments: This is a GREAT recording and vocal performance! Well done! Your lyrics are cool, informative, and poetic...also well done. There are however some story line, tense and structure issues that can somewhat easily be fixed to make this song even stronger commercially. Let's dive into them...Overall Tense:Your verses are in past tense but your chorus is in present tense. You need to be consistent with the tense or it doesn't make sense. I would make your verses present tense to match chorus. Ex: you never (not you'd never), I look (not I looked)Verse 1 - I like these lyrics but I don't think there's enough information in it to adequately set up chorus. It only talks about her and not your relationship or why you're in undiscovered country. I think this would work great as a 2nd verse - where the storyline is already established and then this verse gives deeper details. Here's an easy solution - just swap verse 2 for verse 1! Starting with what is currently the 2nd verse will totally set up chorus better. Lyrically I would change the "said we should only be friends" line to "MAYBE we should only be friends." If they're already broken up the delaying the end and rest of song doesn't really make sense.Also - structure wise you added a new section before 2nd chorus (cause it's fine...). If you only have 6 lines in first verse you can only have 6 lines in 2nd verse. So I'd either ditch these lines or do the same thing (add lines with same music and melody) in first chorus.Chorus - love it!2nd Chorus:I would keep this the same length as 1st chorus. Your bridge is pretty long so lets get to it sooner. The song is overall pretty long - it's best keep commercial songs under 4 min. Cutting down on length of this chorus will help thatBridge:Very nice overall! I would not use the word "dream" in 3rd line because you just used it in line 1. I don't thik the "you'd never let the day.." line adds anything - I'd go right into the 3rd verse after "and we're losing.."3rd Verse:Fyi for future songs, it's uncommon commercially to have a 3rd verse AND a bridge. But I think it works here. As I said before - make it present tense not past tense to match chorus.Last chorus - love it!Again great job on this song! I hope you can take my ideas and make this song not only better but more commercial -good luck!

Quote From Pro: This is a GREAT recording and vocal performance! Well done!

Broadjam Artist: Bill Dake
Song: Little Journey

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Jason Miles (Producer, Keyboardist, Arranger)

Pro General Comments: I really don't know how to take this song. I can only divided into two parts. One the song itself and the duction of the vocals that go along together with the song. The other would be the quality of the production and what you've got going on. This song needs a lot of work. The track needs to be tighter. It's a little too loose and I don't really hear the base doing anything. The guitar should be much more structured with the parts. Vocal songs needStrong instrumental backing with focus. The chords were all over the place playing different things instead of really finding a part that would go behind the vocal. It just seemed to be like everything was very loose and if you're serious about turning the song is the same thing it just can't be like that. You've got a structure part you gotta have this thing really tight. Drums had absolutely no impact on this song at all and they should obviously you are a clever guy to be able to post something like this together however to make it work is something else. The vocals are all all over the place and they need to be focused better as well. At times you have a good attitude And that should be happening throughout the whole song. The vocal doesn't take me somewhere it just kind of hangs around. Believe me I'm not here to criticize I'm here to help and I'm trying to help by telling you things that need to happen if this song is going to do anything. I doubt that any artist would listen to this in this condition and say oh yes I want to do this song. So as you see you definitely have some more work to do on this. It's just not ready yet for the grand opening

Quote From Pro: The potential for this song is here. There is a certain creativeness that shows this song is not a possibility.

Broadjam Artist: allison bolton
Song: glory to Ukraine

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Chris Keaton (Music Publisher, Artist Manager, Song Plugger)

Pro General Comments: I like the spirit of this song. We desperately need artists who will stand up to war and all things wrong. From the opening guitar and harmonica riffs, I felt this song would be special. The plaintive vocal pleads and pulls at the heartstrings while remain strong, encouraging us to stand shoulder to shoulder in defense of freedom.However, I do feel the title could be tweaked. I offered a suggestion but even that is not string enough. The challenge I offer you is to come up with a title that encourages people to listen and take action. (I actually LOVE the outdo lines "WE ALL STAND WITH UKRAINE! GLORY TO UKRAINE" and wonder if they could enter earlier and be repeated throughout the songNearly daily I read journalists begging for artists to lead the way. Back in the day, art lead the world and, to this listener, the time has come once again. Perhaps this Allison Bolton number can break through and unite the world against the evils of war. Unjust war at that!Technically, the tracks are very strong. The recording is tight, effective and professional. The vocal os out front, clearly heard. The mix is professional and to my ears does not need any changes at all. The instrumentation is genre appropriate and although it's clearly a throwback to "protest" songs it never gets preachy or "holier than thou"The song sounds radio ready and all set either for release, as is, or covered by a caring artist. The inspiration to write this is acknowledged and appreciated by me. The time is right for this song!WE ALL STAND WITH UKRAINE! GLORY TO UKRAINE, INDEED!!

Quote From Pro: This patriotic love song to Ukraine and her global supporters has the ability to lift spirits, unite, and motivate. It absolutely deserves to be heard.WE ALL STAND WITH UKRAINE! GLORY TO UKRAINE