Month: January 2022

Broadjam Artist: Charles Edmund Carter
Song: Gold And Tears

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Charles, this is excellent music. I love these big block chords.The melody is good, and the phrasing of the lyrics is good.I think the Chorus Is not different enough from the verses to stand out at all. The Chorus needs to soar. I would suggest you look into that.But the main problem I have is that it is a difficult set of lyrics, a difficult story to become involved in. Somewhere here I want to have sympathy for the singer, but it's hard when the only thing that comes to mind is the old saying, "There's no fool like an old fool."If you could say something like she came on to you, but you were wise to her, maybe. Maybe you knew she was a gold-digger, but she was so cute you played along, knowing how it would end. Gold and tears were all you had to pay to be around her beauty for a day.Our job as songwriters is to somehow entice the listener to feel for the singer. Can you go through this song again with that in mind? It might make this sound a lot stronger.Also, I would like to see some imagery somewhere in here. Your music is full of color and depth. The lyrics should be that way, too.The chord structure you have here is AMAZING. The lyrics should be as cool and different as the music bed they will lie in.The story of your lyrics is old and predictable. I know your work. I think you're capable of better than this.

Quote From Pro: Charles Edmund Carter creates fascinating music!

Broadjam Artist: Charles Edmund Carter
Song: Colorado

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Charles, this is a good one. I like the idea, and I like the music.I have an idea for a change in the chorus because I think what you have is too long.I think the chorus should be:"Colorado, you weren't supposed to happen,We thought we were only passing through,But a broken-down car left us where we are, And we fell in love with you,"The meter of this new chorus should be stretched out. The word "Colorado" should almost be four half notes. The rest of the melody should be stretched out to cover the same amount of time that you have here with your chorus, but the notes should be stretched out longer to cover the space. I sure hope this advice is understandable.What this does it is makes the chorus much more distinguishable from the verse, which is very desirable. It also makes the chorus much more easily memorable. Remember, you want the audience at your concert to walk out the door singing that chorus in their head. It won't happen unless it's very simple, and very short.If you decide that you'd like to go with this chorus, it's a freebie. I won't demand that you make me a cowriter. As a matter of fact, I can't be your cowriter. It's in my contract with Broadjam that I don't do that.Anyway, go through the rest of the song and find out if there is anything that you can cut out. Excess words. For instance, in the first verse you have the line "we knew our luck was at an end". The "We knew" is entirely superfluous and needs to go. The line should read "Our luck was at an end."Do that with every single line in the song. Make sure there are no extra words. You will be amazed at how much stronger your song appears after you have done this process.Another example of this is the line "It's lonely when you're far from home". Can you see the superfluous words in that line?They are the words "when you're". The line could get by and express the same meaning if it was only "It's lonely far from home."This is an important principle for you to start using in your songs, Charles.This song is going to be a good one when you get 'er done the way it's supposed to be. It's a good idea. You have good melody you have good background instrumentation.All it lacks is polishing.

Quote From Pro: Charles Edmund Carter's songs will tug at your heartstrings.

Broadjam Artist: Wil Seabrook
Song: Believe

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)

Pro General Comments: Hi Will, this is very well written, and the demo and vocal are super pro. However, it doesn't feel very country. It feels more like a big modern rock song from the early 2000s. The vocal is very rock, rather than country - and the general nature of the lyric isn't very Nashville. I'm saying that because it sounds like you are a pro, and a very strong songwriter. I also had to figure out this transition coming to Nashville after years of writing rock and pop, and even R&B, in Atlanta and NYC. It's the particular feel of the Nashville demo, and the language used in country songs that I'm not hearing here. It doesn't mean it's not a good song, in fact, I could really hear this having a home in the film/tv synch world. But it's not a country storyline or a country demo sound, so you may have trouble pitching it around Music Row. You aren't that far away from artists like Keith Urban who do flirt more with rock (check out his new single), but things also lean into such specific language choices, that sometimes general lyrics like this are harder to pitch. Sonically, the guitars here are what is taking it more into modern rock/2000s pop rock than country, and the vocal, while very very good, doesn't have the country phrasing and approach.

Quote From Pro: Uplifting modern rock that feels ready for the movie credits!

Broadjam Artist: Dave Peeler
Song: Echoes From The Past

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)

Pro General Comments: Hi Dave, Always include a lyric for the evaluator to read while listening to your song. It helps to see a rhyme scheme and meter.this is a very moving song about children growing up and moving out and the parents feeling sad and lonely as they remember the memories. Keep in mind it's not as if they will never see them again. Be careful not to paint too depressing of a storyline. I'm having a hard time visualizing a major country star singing this at a concert in front of their fans friends and family. That doesn't mean it's not a good song but i'm not hearing it as a country radio friendly hit song. The fact that the kids are all grown and gone could eliminate all the young unmarried country singers and the married singers whose kids are still young. Just something to take into consideration. There are a lot of "you" rhymes throughout this lyric. Your hook is Echoes. Echoes From the Moon and Echoes from the past are also used as hooks in this song. The music is very happy, bouncy and positive which doesn't quite fit the overall mood of the story. It's a very strong demo and vocal. It sounds professionally done. It's always good advice to submit a simple guitar/vocal before getting a professional demo done.

Quote From Pro: Dave Peeler has captured the sad and lonely feeling that parents go through when their last child has left the nest. This is a meaningful and real story that plays out daily across the world.

Broadjam Artist: Charles Edmund Carter
Song: Global Warming

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Okay, Charles. This one is a winner.There are few of these lines that I think could be better done so that they would be more understandable."Seems to be our greatest goal" is kind of iffy. Remember, another rhyme word would be "roll", as in "that's how we roll". Another rhyme word could possibly be "soul".The last two lines of the first verse, "Orleanians must scuba dive just to get some fries," is a funny idea if you could just say it more clearly. Some people will not know that "Orleanians" means "New Orleanians", and if they don't know that, the whole riff in the second verse about how they built underground like Venice and need a "boat to get around" is gonna fall flat on its face. I have to note here, having lived in New Orleans for several years, the French Quarter is not built "underground", but BELOW SEA LEVEL.I played on Bourbon Street for two years.In Verse two, "if the smog could just get out" sounds as if the line was made up just so you could get that rhyme. I happen to know that you can do better than this.The thing about Tahoe and how the fireplace went out is fantastic, by the way. Make the Denver line that strong.I would have the second line of the chorus be "Al Gore gave us warning" just to make SURE they know who you're talking about.And I would kinda like to see if the line "Polar Bears ain't got nowhere to go" could be improved upon somehow. It's not an altogether BAD line, and may have to be what we leave there, but just brainstorm a little bit and see if you can make it stronger.And one other thing, Charles. I think the entire song needs to be SLOWED WAY DOWN. I'm not sure how many beats per minute you have going on here, but it sounds somewhere in the 160s. If I were you, I would endeavor to get it to back down to about 130. It almost sounds as if you are hurrying to get through the song when you sing it, and I want these words to be VERY understandable.But, all in all, Charles, this is a great piece of work. I definitely want to hear how this one ends up when it's done.

Quote From Pro: Charles Edmund Carter is a funny guy!

Broadjam Artist: Charles Edmund Carter
Song: I'll Never Set You Free

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Charles, you almost did the song form exactly right. You DID put in an extra first verse and second verse at the end which are not REALLY necessary. Your song is three minutes 25 seconds long. If you pull those two extra verses at the end out, it should end up about the right time.I think you could get away with this if you change the viewpoint just a little bit. For instance, you could have it be something like, "I know that you're leaving, but MY HEART will never set you free."The way you got it worded here - well, if you said this to anybody, you might be arrested. It would certainly be grounds for a restraining order. It's tantamount to telling someone that you are going to hold them against their will. I can't imagine that ever becoming popular as a song subject. Especially in this day and age.You have a great groove here, a good feel. I even sorta like the weird accordion part. But the lyrics - I just don't get how this would ever sell.I think it may be back to the drawing board on this one.

Quote From Pro: Charles Edmund Carter can lay down a groove!

Broadjam Artist: Charles Edmund Carter
Song: Heaven or Hell?

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Wish I had thought of this idea. It's really good. You just have to shape it up a little bit.But before we talk about that, I'm going to go on a little bit of a rant here.Once again, Charles, you have given me a huge production to listen to. I have hesitated to mention this, but I'm going to say it now, because the song is a really good example of what I'm talking about.We would both of us be in a much better situation, I believe, if you would just send me guitar voice demos of your songs. The reason that I say this is because if I hear something in your song that needs to change in the arrangement or the production, I hesitate to mention it because you've already done the production, and it would probably cost a lot of money for you to go back in the studio and fix it the way it should be.Producer Dann Huff (look him up) once said, "World hunger could be eradicated with the money saved from not producing songs that weren't ready for production."Secondly, I may have mentioned that the most usable song form for popular music is: Verse - Chorus - Verse - Chorus - Bridge - Chorus.It, or a slight variation thereof, has been what has populated the top 10 of the charts over 70% of the time during the entire time there have been charts.It's insane to attempt to reinvent the wheel. See if you can get your songs into that type of song form EVERY time. There will be times when the song dictates another form. These are rare. This is not a song that would stand up to that scrutiny. I'm afraid it's not really ready for production. For one thing, it is way too long. The first thing that needs come out of it is the guitar solo. Totally unnecessary. No record producer listening to your song with an idea of licensing it to his artist wants to hear a guitar solo. It's the kiss of death.Pick two of the verses that you have written for this song, or a conglomeration of the verses you have written that cuts it down to two verses. Put a chorus in between the first verse and the second verse and drop the bridge in between the second verse and the last chorus.Also, I would suggest that you cut your Chorus in half. It would be much stronger if it were just these four lines: Am I gonna wear me a pair of wings,Or will there be a thick sulfur smell,I'm headed for that last roundup,Destination: Heaven or Hell?"Am I gonna wear me a pair of wings or will there be a thick sulfur smell" is a fantastic line. It says everything you need to say in the chorus. The other two lines were redundant and unnecessary.Charles, I must say that I am seeing improvement in every single song that I listen to from you. Keep up the good work.

Quote From Pro: Charles Edmund Carter knows how to rock!