Month: August 2021

Broadjam Artist: Dave Peeler
Song: Love

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Jeseka Price (Publisher, Producer)

Pro General Comments: I Love, Love, Love this song and its melody specifically.I find it to be very therapeutic, serene, and calming while positive at the same time! Also, I am a big fan of your songwriting, and the vocalist used! She is very good as well- However, I do find the chorus or hook to be aesthetically nice, yet something feels like it's missing due to the consistent repetition placed on the word "Love" x4 or 5 in the chorus. On a brighter note, at the same time that is also what holds the melody that I love so much....and maybe that is the point, right?!? Very creative, anyhow love this song! The last thing I will say about your lovely song is maybe changing the tempo slightly, or even notes (they could go an octave higher or lower), even bringing in a second vocalist like a deep southern country baritone vocalist on the 2nd and 4th or 3rd and 4th verses like a Scott McCreery or Toby Keith as a collaborative effort, just swap out some of the lines to match. Then, I really think that could be something tough on the Blues and Country tip! Also, you have now gained a big fan "myself" with respect to your songwriting. I love what you have executed here Dave, so please Keep up the great work, and don't stop your amazing skill and talent for songwriting!So, thanks again for submitting your song, and patience during these crazy times, btw! Happy to hear and review it! Let's keep in touch and I look forward to hearing more from you :)Thank you,Jeseka PricePrice Royalty Publishing

Quote From Pro: The last thing I will say about your song is that it is definitely perfect for "Newlyweds" and my only thought is to maybe change up the tempo slightly by way of notes (they could go an octave higher or lower), even bringing in a second vocalist like a deep southern country baritone vocalist on the 2nd and 4th or 3rd and 4th verses like a Scott McCreery or Toby Keith as a collaborative effort, just swap out some of the lines to match. I really think that could be something tough on the Blues and Country tip! Also, you have now gained a big fan "myself" with respect to your songwriting. I love what you have executed here Dave, so please Keep up the great work, and don't stop your amazing skill and talent for songwriting!

Broadjam Artist: LOVE by Dave Peeler
Song: Love

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Jeseka Price (Publisher, Producer)

Pro General Comments: I Love, Love, Love this song and its melody specifically.I find it to be very therapeutic, serene, and calming while positive at the same time! Also, I am a big fan of your songwriting, and the vocalist used! She is very good as well- However, I do find the chorus or hook to be aesthetically nice, yet something feels like it's missing due to the consistent repetition placed on the word "Love" x4 or 5 in the chorus. On a brighter note, at the same time that is also what holds the melody that I love so much....and maybe that is the point, right?!? Very creative, anyhow love this song! The last thing I will say about your lovely song is maybe changing the tempo slightly, or even notes (they could go an octave higher or lower), even bringing in a second vocalist like a deep southern country baritone vocalist on the 2nd and 4th or 3rd and 4th verses like a Scott McCreery or Toby Keith as a collaborative effort, just swap out some of the lines to match. Then, I really think that could be something tough on the Blues and Country tip! Also, you have now gained a big fan "myself" with respect to your songwriting. I love what you have executed here Dave, so please Keep up the great work, and don't stop your amazing skill and talent for songwriting!So, thanks again for submitting your song, and patience during these crazy times, btw! Happy to hear and review it! Let's keep in touch and I look forward to hearing more from you :)Thank you,Jeseka PricePrice Royalty Publishing

Quote From Pro: The last thing I will say about your song is that it is definitely perfect for "Newlyweds" and my only thought is to maybe change up the tempo slightly by way of notes (they could go an octave higher or lower), even bringing in a second vocalist like a deep southern country baritone vocalist on the 2nd and 4th or 3rd and 4th verses like a Scott McCreery or Toby Keith as a collaborative effort, just swap out some of the lines to match. I really think that could be something tough on the Blues and Country tip! Also, you have now gained a big fan "myself" with respect to your songwriting. I love what you have executed here Dave, so please Keep up the great work, and don't stop your amazing skill and talent for songwriting!

Broadjam Artist: Joy Helena Solomon
Song: Love Triangles (16 b 44_K) MST

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Jonathan Weiss (Music Supervisor, A&R)

Pro General Comments: Solid overall arrangement and authentic sounding retro styled instrumentation and chord sequence. The initial guitar riff is quite familiar sounding, coming close to the traditional sounding II-V-I (2-5-1) chord sequence that was quite familiar in the 50's and into the early 60's. I even heard some doo wop type background vocals that are indicative of this era and done quite well I might add. Lyrically, the listener can definitely can get an idea quickly of the theme and message of the track, however, some of the chorus lyrics are stretching credibility a bit "love triangles are all the rage." Didn't know that was the case, but maybe I'm living a sheltered life! I do like however the consistency and storytelling ability that comes through from the lyrics, "make a choice, more hearts will break, no one can win, they don't end well, don't get caught," etc., all of which are true. Maybe it's more of a comment on some of the polygamist stories that come out occasionally in the news!The lead vocals are strong and passionate sounding, I liked the harmonica licks, live drums and authentic sounding instrumentation that sounded like a live band was all playing together in the studio.

Quote From Pro: Solid arrangement and retro styled pop rock track with energetic female lead vocals that hits on a somewhat taboo subject of being in a troubled "love triangle."

Broadjam Artist: Joy Solomon
Song: Love Triangles (16 b 44_K) MST

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Jonathan Weiss (Music Supervisor, A&R)

Pro General Comments: Solid overall arrangement and authentic sounding retro styled instrumentation and chord sequence. The initial guitar riff is quite familiar sounding, coming close to the traditional sounding II-V-I (2-5-1) chord sequence that was quite familiar in the 50's and into the early 60's. I even heard some doo wop type background vocals that are indicative of this era and done quite well I might add. Lyrically, the listener can definitely can get an idea quickly of the theme and message of the track, however, some of the chorus lyrics are stretching credibility a bit "love triangles are all the rage." Didn't know that was the case, but maybe I'm living a sheltered life! I do like however the consistency and storytelling ability that comes through from the lyrics, "make a choice, more hearts will break, no one can win, they don't end well, don't get caught," etc., all of which are true. Maybe it's more of a comment on some of the polygamist stories that come out occasionally in the news!The lead vocals are strong and passionate sounding, I liked the harmonica licks, live drums and authentic sounding instrumentation that sounded like a live band was all playing together in the studio.

Quote From Pro: Solid arrangement and retro styled pop rock track with energetic female lead vocals that hits on a somewhat taboo subject of being in a troubled "love triangle."

Broadjam Artist: Charles Edmund Carter
Song: In Dreamland

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Once again, Mr. Carter, the production values are excellent. Top-notch.This song is a viable idea. Way too viable.Anybody who wants to can go on to BMI.com and search the "Songview".What that is is a listing of every title that BMI and ASCAP have registered. If you have an idea for a title that you would like to write, a good idea is to go there and check to see how many other songs have that, or similar, titles.Admittedly, it's almost impossible to find a title that hasn't been written before. Unless it's something completely off-the-wall. It's not a detriment to continue writing a title if there are, say, less than 30 other versions of it.If you go to BMI.com and search the title "Dreamland" (the "in" is superfluous) on the Songview, the result you get will stun you. There are 1,184 other versions of this title or something similar.Someone, somewhere is trying to get every one of these songs exploited. They are trying to get them played on the radio or placed with a major label artist. To get your song noticed, it must be heard at the right place at the right time by the right person. If there are a lot of other songs with the same title, you might become like the salmon swimming upstream to spawn.Just so's you know.Here's the review of YOUR version:First Verse - the second line, "starlight her beauty displays" is not something anybody would ever say. In song lyrics, it is usually desirable to have your lines sound conversational. That draws the listener in more. The third line, "The Sandman will lead them to Dreamland" has a couple problems with it. The term "the Sandman" sounds dated. Secondly, "Dreamland" is the last word of the line, and it probably should not be there. If it's the title, it's best to have it appear once in the chorus only. Every other time you use it weakens it.I believe a good idea would be to replace the word "Dreamland" in the third line of the chorus. And please, remove the word "just" from the last line of the chorus.Suggestion for the first line of the second verse:"You can fly anywhere you want to,". It gets the "Dreamland" out of that line.Second line, second verse: "Dance out across the stars".Moving to the bridge."You're not just in my imagination, I know in my heart that you're real,".These two lines say essentially the same thing in different words, and therefore one of them is redundant.In the first line, I suggest changing the "just" to "only". Seems stronger. Second line has a major no-no in it. The phrase "in my heart", as well as stuff like "deep in my heart", "in my soul", "deep in my soul," etc., are all poisonous. Clichs like that will get you thrown out of the publisher's WINDOW, even if you're on the second floor. This is a nice piece, Charles. It's a kinda cosmic mood piece. Has a very nice feel to it. As such, you may be able to get some action on it if you do a little work with the lyrics.Remember, there has to be something in the lyric nobody has ever heard before. You can do it, Charles, if anyone can.

Quote From Pro: Charles Edmund Carter's versatility is AMAZING!

Broadjam Artist: Charles Edmund Carter
Song: In Dreamland

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Once again, Mr. Carter, the production values are excellent. Top-notch.This song is a viable idea. Way too viable.Anybody who wants to can go on to BMI.com and search the "Songview".What that is is a listing of every title that BMI and ASCAP have registered. If you have an idea for a title that you would like to write, a good idea is to go there and check to see how many other songs have that, or similar, titles.Admittedly, it's almost impossible to find a title that hasn't been written before. Unless it's something completely off-the-wall. It's not a detriment to continue writing a title if there are, say, less than 30 other versions of it.If you go to BMI.com and search the title "Dreamland" (the "in" is superfluous) on the Songview, the result you get will stun you. There are 1,184 other versions of this title or something similar.Someone, somewhere is trying to get every one of these songs exploited. They are trying to get them played on the radio or placed with a major label artist. To get your song noticed, it must be heard at the right place at the right time by the right person. If there are a lot of other songs with the same title, you might become like the salmon swimming upstream to spawn.Just so's you know.Here's the review of YOUR version:First Verse - the second line, "starlight her beauty displays" is not something anybody would ever say. In song lyrics, it is usually desirable to have your lines sound conversational. That draws the listener in more. The third line, "The Sandman will lead them to Dreamland" has a couple problems with it. The term "the Sandman" sounds dated. Secondly, "Dreamland" is the last word of the line, and it probably should not be there. If it's the title, it's best to have it appear once in the chorus only. Every other time you use it weakens it.I believe a good idea would be to replace the word "Dreamland" in the third line of the chorus. And please, remove the word "just" from the last line of the chorus.Suggestion for the first line of the second verse:"You can fly anywhere you want to,". It gets the "Dreamland" out of that line.Second line, second verse: "Dance out across the stars".Moving to the bridge."You're not just in my imagination, I know in my heart that you're real,".These two lines say essentially the same thing in different words, and therefore one of them is redundant.In the first line, I suggest changing the "just" to "only". Seems stronger. Second line has a major no-no in it. The phrase "in my heart", as well as stuff like "deep in my heart", "in my soul", "deep in my soul," etc., are all poisonous. Clichs like that will get you thrown out of the publisher's WINDOW, even if you're on the second floor. This is a nice piece, Charles. It's a kinda cosmic mood piece. Has a very nice feel to it. As such, you may be able to get some action on it if you do a little work with the lyrics.Remember, there has to be something in the lyric nobody has ever heard before. You can do it, Charles, if anyone can.

Quote From Pro: Charles Edmund Carter's versatility is AMAZING!

Broadjam Artist: Charles Edmund Carter
Song: Tadpole, Louisiana

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Cool Groove, Charles. Love that Zydeco sound.I know I keep saying this, but it's true. Your production people are top-notch. It's great to hear the work of someone who knows how to make many diverse sounds come together in a coherent mix. It's an art form in its own right.In this song, you're telling a me story. Painting me a picture. You got me wanting to visit Tadpole. Is it close to Covington?If I were you, I would think about ditching the "very tough" in the third line of the first verse. I think "dangerous" might be better. It fits well and it gets rid of the "very" adverb, which is always clumsy. In the next line down, I would consider melodically stretching out the word "least" and then getting rid of the word "many". I believe that removing any syllable that can be removed is essential to good songwriting. It is why I have said, time and time again, go over every line of every song and pull out every single word to see what the line sounds like without that word in it. Make every single syllable justify its existence. It is a cornerstone of good songwriting. Of GREAT songwriting.Other than that, I have no problem with anything in this song. You fix those little bumps, and it's ready to pitch.Good work. Keep it up.

Quote From Pro: OO-EEE, dis boy can pick dat Cajun Zydeco. Who Dat?Charles Edmond Carter, dat's who!

Broadjam Artist: Charles Edmund Carter
Song: Tadpole, Louisiana

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Cool Groove, Charles. Love that Zydeco sound.I know I keep saying this, but it's true. Your production people are top-notch. It's great to hear the work of someone who knows how to make many diverse sounds come together in a coherent mix. It's an art form in its own right.In this song, you're telling a me story. Painting me a picture. You got me wanting to visit Tadpole. Is it close to Covington?If I were you, I would think about ditching the "very tough" in the third line of the first verse. I think "dangerous" might be better. It fits well and it gets rid of the "very" adverb, which is always clumsy. In the next line down, I would consider melodically stretching out the word "least" and then getting rid of the word "many". I believe that removing any syllable that can be removed is essential to good songwriting. It is why I have said, time and time again, go over every line of every song and pull out every single word to see what the line sounds like without that word in it. Make every single syllable justify its existence. It is a cornerstone of good songwriting. Of GREAT songwriting.Other than that, I have no problem with anything in this song. You fix those little bumps, and it's ready to pitch.Good work. Keep it up.

Quote From Pro: OO-EEE, dis boy can pick dat Cajun Zydeco. Who Dat?Charles Edmond Carter, dat's who!

Broadjam Artist: Charles Edmund Carter
Song: Dallas Tonight

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Once again, Charles, the production of your song is fantastic. All the right instruments in exactly the right places. Please congratulate whoever your production people are.This is some of your best work. I like your idea. It is different.Here are the suggestions I would have for changes you might consider in your lyric.Verse one: Everything looks good until you get to the last two lines, "That all her fans can sayIt seems she's singing all her songs to me".How about something like, "Every one of her fans say, she wrote her songs just for me,"?That uses a word usually POISONOUS to me. "Just". I hate that word. Most the time, it is JUST a throw away syllable. But here, it sounds like something someone would actually say.To me, that is more concise. It doesn't repeat the word "all" and doesn't have the words "It seems", which is a well-worn clich. I mean, it's a BAD one unless, you can find a completely new and fresh take on how it's being used. It also does not overuse the word "sings". It replaces it with "writes".The pre-chorus stands up. You might brainstorm something stronger than "Regardless he's with her anyway,".As far as the chorus is concerned, it's cool until you get to the last two lines, again."She'll keep singing 'til she's dead, Or the pain is gone." I would seriously consider, if I were you, dropping three words from this line. They are "she's dead or". "Dead" is a very harsh word. If you can get it out of any songs you are writing, you are better off doing it. Plus, you don't need the extra syllables. I would be stretching out the words "till the pain is gone", making them stronger.I would also mull over the possibility of changing the title to "Till The Pain Is Gone". It is much more what the song is about.The Second Verse? Once more with the last two lines."Her driver keeps on drivin' and drivin' through the night, But he never seems to drive her pain away,"? Too many "driv-"syllables. You don't want to use the word "pain" anywhere but in the last line of the chorus, do you? Dilutes its power.I wouldn't. How about "Her driver keeps the hammer down, all through the night,But he can't drive her sorrow away,"?You may use these suggestions (or not) without charge. You don't even need to name me as your cowriter. Or not.All in all, Charles Edmund Carter, you are coming along. Progressing well. Keep up the good work.

Quote From Pro: "Charles Edmund Carter can tug at your heartstrings when he wants to..."

Broadjam Artist: Charles Edmund Carter
Song: Dallas Tonight

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Once again, Charles, the production of your song is fantastic. All the right instruments in exactly the right places. Please congratulate whoever your production people are.This is some of your best work. I like your idea. It is different.Here are the suggestions I would have for changes you might consider in your lyric.Verse one: Everything looks good until you get to the last two lines, "That all her fans can sayIt seems she's singing all her songs to me".How about something like, "Every one of her fans say, she wrote her songs just for me,"?That uses a word usually POISONOUS to me. "Just". I hate that word. Most the time, it is JUST a throw away syllable. But here, it sounds like something someone would actually say.To me, that is more concise. It doesn't repeat the word "all" and doesn't have the words "It seems", which is a well-worn clich. I mean, it's a BAD one unless, you can find a completely new and fresh take on how it's being used. It also does not overuse the word "sings". It replaces it with "writes".The pre-chorus stands up. You might brainstorm something stronger than "Regardless he's with her anyway,".As far as the chorus is concerned, it's cool until you get to the last two lines, again."She'll keep singing 'til she's dead, Or the pain is gone." I would seriously consider, if I were you, dropping three words from this line. They are "she's dead or". "Dead" is a very harsh word. If you can get it out of any songs you are writing, you are better off doing it. Plus, you don't need the extra syllables. I would be stretching out the words "till the pain is gone", making them stronger.I would also mull over the possibility of changing the title to "Till The Pain Is Gone". It is much more what the song is about.The Second Verse? Once more with the last two lines."Her driver keeps on drivin' and drivin' through the night, But he never seems to drive her pain away,"? Too many "driv-"syllables. You don't want to use the word "pain" anywhere but in the last line of the chorus, do you? Dilutes its power.I wouldn't. How about "Her driver keeps the hammer down, all through the night,But he can't drive her sorrow away,"?You may use these suggestions (or not) without charge. You don't even need to name me as your cowriter. Or not.All in all, Charles Edmund Carter, you are coming along. Progressing well. Keep up the good work.

Quote From Pro: "Charles Edmund Carter can tug at your heartstrings when he wants to..."