Month: March 2021

Broadjam Artist: Charles Edmund Carter
Song: Pistol Packin' Mama

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Nikki Hornsby (Songwriter, Artist, Producer, Arranger)

Pro General Comments: Sorry to be blunt but the vocalist seems not to help the delivery of this song to be reviewed but could be altered in the studio with certain recording functions on the studio board aka recording technical equipment process. The weakness of offering this song as it is here might may take the one who wants to use it more cost or time for fixing it than some may want to do. That means fixing any song before licensing to suit the need is advisable ... but I heard the drum patterns here that maybe with a touch of a native American feel could help in a diverse direction towards some new USA western type series once the vocals are modified even with the chorus. It does take me back to ask what is the goal of the songwriter for this song. Many pro producers might discover to direct the arranger toward that end for the recording session. Instrumentation is often a key factor into the direction in the final mastering and the delivery to take, i.e., for TV or film or single release for even radio style online or off commercial broadcasting. And back to the song, this story idea is ok as it's been covered before even though it's a dark type of story which some true stories maybe like that anyways. We know humanity has that side of it but in my opinion the song needs some work. I listen over and over every time I do a review of a recording and the taste of the current consumer is always changing. I try to always give an honest review even as a talent judge so that the artist (aka in this case songwriter) may return to polish the stone of his/her performance or composition. Again, we all know opinions are only opinions and NO ONE on earth knows the future fads or newest thing which maybe an old one returned to be new again. In the Arts it is often subjective and objective but I want every one that creates anything to be better from their observation of the audiences their song (or performance) is played for or to whenever or wherever that maybe. So that's why knowing the goal to write commercially is a serious job or for fun which are both ok. The differences people have in what they do are like fingerprints and for a songwriter to touch millions of people by music or lyrics is an awesome gift that is felt which is a talent that is given to share for that reason. This Pistol Packing Mama may have to stay inside the jail unless the funding and time is available to get the master makers to meet the songwriters' goals and in the art fields like in life all things are possible. Thank you for sharing this song.

Quote From Pro: There are sometimes songs that heard more than once plus repeated a few songs where the story sticks with you as this one may for some people in "Pistol Packing Momma" as the amount of time is good at 3:23. There are some musical points I see that may need some work or that could be changed but it's up to the goal of where this product maybe headed. I am glad that I was able to hear this song and look forward to more in the future sent through the Broadjam Pro Review.

Broadjam Artist: Charles Edmund Carter
Song: I'm Sorry

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Nikki Hornsby (Songwriter, Artist, Producer, Arranger)

Pro General Comments: General standard (like three chord type) blues song and easily reminds the listener that "I'm Sorry" seems to have the right feel for a nice country line dance which this seems to follow from the good intro to the ending vocal sigh. Note that the way these types of songs are often multiple in concepts but is good for listeners who are sitting off the dance floor in a club / concert performance and want to get up to move the entire time on to the dance floor. Reminds the musicians who love to play this type of an easy chord progression song to add note accents in their own parts of the song showing their creativeness especially in a live performance. Actually, in my opinion the story the songwriter has written is more like the life of a part time musician and the title is good since it's the hook as well in this type of light bluesy genera. The lyrics are ok as the story line is following through well to the end but "wheel upon the Tube" in the lyrics may date the song to the past especially if relating to the current vocabulary of the younger generations. That is the songwriters (*lyricists) prerogative. It does repetitively play ok aka multiple times as a reviewer may do to find possible errors without finding many in this at all. It's fun to repeat listening from the first time it creates a picture for the listener relatable to us all who may be many times sorry in our choices throughout life but the music brings us up and around again to say "one more time".

Quote From Pro: This is a good live line dance type song. The style is a country line dance or what was once called a Stroll dance. There are many other songs in the same style or genera where a professional musician would love to play the simple progressions when his/her shinning part comes up during the instrumental break. "I'm Sorry" is a good title as it all fits with the story line for self disappointment which is fun for the bluesy style in a light way. Thank you for allowing me to review your originals songs and look forward to hearing more in the future.

Broadjam Artist: Charles Edmund Carter
Song: River Of Memories

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Nikki Hornsby (Songwriter, Artist, Producer, Arranger)

Pro General Comments: As I'm listening it's very nice and certainly easy. Enjoying this submission as the intro is good and good measures. The Balance of the music & the presentation of this tune to a listener is good too. In release or reviewing it may need credits posted in performance. This is good for the producers to be known too who added sweet female complimenting vocalist. Also the musicians on this single work did a good job and to be named on playing on this session would be good to always add in future too. In my opinion and seemingly only change I may add is the title. I would call it "Down By The River" instead of "River of Memories" as we know titles are not copyrightable and the repetition of Down by the River makes finding the tune in a list of songs easier than remembering 'River of Memories" for some people since the memories (while I was listening) always come back to the chorus of "Down By The River..." Of course we all know the choice of the title or even the music chord progressions or hook line(s) & lyrics is the choice of the songwriter(s). Remember for professionals marketing may be a good thing to consider in the back of the mind only IF the songwriters goal is future (or current) sales or licensing. Still this is a sweet comforting waltz tune.

Quote From Pro: A sweet waltz for listening for any person that wants a break of the hectic times we as listeners living life may have while sharing the memory of this songwriter through the storyline.

Broadjam Artist: Randall Mark
Song: So Far Away

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tom Worth (Songwriter, Producer, Pro Songwriting Coach)

Pro General Comments: Very cool sound and vocals. You mentioned getting it ready for synch pitch - I think that's a great pitch type for this tune. Songwriting:Very nice songwriting here. You clearly know what you're doing. I like your melodies, structure, rhyme schemes and hook (So Far Away). I think the lyrics could be improved here and there to tell a clearer story. Very smart to leave the interpretation open to death, heartbreak, child moves away etc, as that allows for more pitch opportunities (and connections with the listener), BUT some of your lyrics only apply (in my opinion) to certain scenarios and not all. For example:From a heart-broken angle - I don't think the 2nd line of chorus works. If I was heart-broken (sadly speaking from experience lol) I would not say/feel "but in your eyes I can see the skies of a sunny day." This brings up a critical question for all songwriters do you make the song more specific and potentially loose some of its potential audience, or adjust the lyrics to apply to multiple scenarios and potentially water it down so much that no one strongly relates to it. I usually opt for the first option...but that's your call. My recommendation would be to make the lyrics so they could be interpreted to all of the scenarios you mentioned EXCEPT heart break (simply because of the chorus, which I really like). This would also require changing the "kiss on your sleepy cheek" line as well as that wouldn't apply to a death...or if it did it would be a little too poignant for the 2nd line of a song.An example 2nd line could be:"it's early morning I said goodbye with a tear rolling down my cheek"Other lyric suggestions:I don't really understand "hitting milestones" in 4th line of 1st verse. I would say something more emotional or specific to the situation. Furthermore...technically speaking, if you use that awesome internal rhyme of "time zones" and "milestones" in that line you really need to do so in the 4th line of 2nd verse and you don't. So you could either eliminate internal rhyme in 1st verse or add it in 2nd.Verse 2: "thought you were mine" sounds like a relationship/heart-break and not the other scenarios. Maybe say something like "I always hoped you would stay close for eternity." That's not a great line but I hope you see what I'm getting at. Recording/Production:Overall it's great! Crazy story...after I listened to this song the first time, I was thinking that the baseline was reminiscent of another song. I was thinking maybe early James Taylor but then I realized it was the end of a Carol King Song, "So Far Away!" If you did this intentionally...BRILLIANT. If not...what a cool coincidence ? The acoustic guitar and bass seem to be fighting at times timing wise. The guitar seems to be ahead of beat at times which doesn't always jive with base. Not throughout, just here and there.As for the singer...she's amazing and clearly has a STAR voice. That being said I think she has a tendency to rush some lines (to the point where if I didn't have a lyric sheet I wouldn't understand the lyric). For example, in 1st chorus she sang the word "and" before you're close to me. It was so fast it was hard to understand. Same thing with "BUT" in 3rd line of bridge, and "there were" in 1st line of 2nd verse. There's plenty of room to sing these words, I think she just needs to start them sooner. I hope that doesn't sound too critical...she's SO good that I want her to be even better ?Overall I love what you're doing here. I think you're a few tweaks away from a marketable song!

Quote From Pro: Very nice songwriting here. You clearly know what you're doing. I like your melodies, structure, rhyme schemes and hook.

Broadjam Artist: Mary Brennan
Song: Play Pretend

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Chris Keaton (Music Publisher, Artist Manager, Song Plugger)

Pro General Comments: I love a great story song and when I first heard "Play Pretend" I knew I was hearing one. From the opening line the listener is hooked and is compelled to hear more of the story. The lyric is so visual and so conversational. It's like the listener is standing in the shadows just out of sight witnessing the entire scene. The plot twist near the end is heartbreaking and comes out of nowhere (which to me is the mark of a GREAT story song.The musical track is so supportive of the story. Every instrument adds and nothing distracts from the message. The musicians obviously are pros because they not only knew what to add, they knew what NOT to add. Very important to great records.The lead vocal has just the right emotion and the understated backing vocals support and lift the track. The mix is exceptional. Every instrument has its own spot with plenty of sonic space and nothing is hidden. The verses expand the story in an easily followed manner. The story unfolds in a natural flow which is very impressive. I am very impressed with every aspect of this song and absolutely agree it would be a great pitch. The right artist could have a smash hit with this song.

Quote From Pro: I love a great story song and when I first heard "Play Pretend" I knew I was hearing one.

Broadjam Artist: Randall Mark
Song: Wonder Boy(KaytLynn)

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tom Worth (Songwriter, Producer, Pro Songwriting Coach)

Pro General Comments: I'd pay more attention to my comments and not the ratings I just posted:A very enjoyable song to listen to! Kudos! A beautiful vocal over some catchy and playful melodies! This would be a great film/tv pitch. But I do have some suggestions to make it even better! Music:Overall music/production is great! The singer is wonderful and actually sounds a lot like a friend of mine - Mindy Gledhill. She's a singer out of Utah. I only have a couple suggestions recording wise. And if you simply wanted songwriting feedback and are aware of what I'm about to say...my apologies!-The acoustic guitar in intro is a little sloppy timing wise. I also think its tone could be smoother.- I think the male background vocals in chorus is a little loud. - I would have the 2nd chorus flow like the 3rd chorus does (not have a break after the first "heaven on mars.")-Singer needs to be tuned in a couple spots: "me" in 3rd line of 2nd chorus"But I'm" sounds funky at beginning of Verse 3Songwriting:GREAT songwriting. This song is fun and quirky...JUST what film/TV seems to love! Great melodies. Here are some lyric suggestions:Verse 1:I think your 1st two lines could be stronger. Your verses are pretty short. It's really just these 2 lines (I see 3rd and 4th line as a pre chorus). So use them to say more. I would not use so many "you's."Technically speaking the rhyme schemes in your verses don't match. In each verse you have internal rhymes which is great, but in the 1st and 3rd verse the last word of the first and second lines rhyme, whereas they do NOT in verse 2. You should be consistent with rhyme schemes. Personally I like your rhyme scheme in the 2nd verse. That being said I'd change the internal rhyme sound in the 1st or 2nd line of verse 1 and 3 to something other than a "you" rhyme. I think you have a wonderful play on words that you're not using to its potential. You wait until the 3rd pre chorus to use "wonder boy" as a noun. That's brilliant!! I'd do it sooner (every pre chorus). For example, 1st and 2nd pre: "And I wonder wonder and I wonder boyCould you be my wonder boy" or something similarChorus 1:"Break my heart into two" is a bit clich. I know this song is cute so you can probably get away with it...but if you can beat it I would.LOVE the heaven on mars lineVerse 2 and Chorus 2 are perfectVerse 3:I don't love "not even a few." You already said "not even a word" so saying "not even a few" seems redundant. Chorus 3:I LOVE how you went to 3rd person here. Brilliant! Just an idea (meaning it's fine as is but maybe this would improve it). Might be cool if last line of last chorus said:"I'll take heaven on earth or heaven on mars." Just a thought. This line may also work as a tag after you say your current last line as wellOutro:I'd have a little more space between end of chorus and outroI hope you find my suggestions helpful! Keep up the great work!

Quote From Pro: A very enjoyable song to listen to - kudos! A beautiful vocal over some catchy and playful melodies!

Broadjam Artist: William Smith
Song: Dance

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Doug Diamond (Music Supervisor, Engineer, Producer, Composer )

Pro General Comments: Hi William -Thanks for letting me know about you and your song, "Dance".In general, I like it. Well done. Are there a few things that might be improved upon? Sure. We'll address those as much as possible.Coming from a production/engineering/technical background (I'm a mastering and mix engineer as well as a music supervisor), the production value of the recording is usually the first thing I notice. In the case of "Dance", personally, I think it has excellent production value. The recording is nice and clean-sounding - and professional. In my world of sync placements and licensing see, it's the artist's own recording that gets used (versus someone re-recording a really great song... that does/can happen, but usually not in the indie music/placement industry), so therefore the original recording has to be killer and be every bit as competitive as a major label artist/song might be.I did notice this though, which I thought was odd: Is that a cough at 2:42 and 2:51? It's probably not, but I'd remove those personally, as it's distracting should be simple to do so.I think the song itself is very solid. Really good songwriting and an excellent hook/main melody. I think it's very memorable, so nice work there.I do think the title is a little forgettable though. Simple yes, but it's also a very popular music genre, so when I saw it first thing... I thought "Oh, it's a Dance song, but... what's the name of it?". Make sense? I'd add the bit in parenthesis if it were me: "(All You Gotta Do Is) Dance" just to differentiate it from the genre type. Simple is good, but confusion isn't.I like the lyrics a lot too. I can tell you've been doing this awhile as you haven't made some of the same mistakes that new writers sometimes make. I wouldn't change anything there.Also, I like how the song actually has a final ending, versus a fade-out. Very cool - and - creative. It just sort of wraps-up nicely.The song length is good too... not too long and would make it easy for someone like me to pitch it to my clients it's not a 6-minute opus, you know?Love the drums. I'm a drummer, so I can definitely appreciate what you have here. Great playing. Is it you or someone you brought in? Very cool either way. To me, these do *not* sound "1980s", they sound modern.If it were about 1990 or so, I think this song could easily be a radio hit for a major artist - as a re-record/re-make of your version.Speaking of that, I think what you have here is an excellent demo that you could use to pitch to artists to try and get someone to cut it if you want to go that route (no changes necessary to do that).Let's address your questions below.

Quote From Pro: "Dance" by William Smith is the best '80s song that the '80s missed out on hearing. Seriously, it's a really great song with excellent musical performances and production value, great lyrics, and a memorable hook. Nice job!

Broadjam Artist: BigAlbatross
Song: Shortcut To Love

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tom Worth (Songwriter, Producer, Pro Songwriting Coach)

Pro General Comments: Very nice song Al! You clearly are no amateur. I'm impressed by your songwriting and the high recording quality. This song has market potential, I think you're a few tweaks away from having a very special song.Lyrics:Overall, your lyrics are very good, but I'd like to see you supporting/building up the hook in the first verse. For example, you could start off song with something like "You're all I want I want to rush right in and tell you." I'm not saying that's a great line, but it builds hook by saying you want to rush in (but there's no shortcut to love).Also - when pitching to a commercial market, it's important to follow those unofficial "rules" of commercial songwriting. Overall you did - well done! But, I'd suggest following the same rhyme scheme in each verse. Currently, Verse 1 has an AABC rhyme scheme while verse 2 has an ABCC rhyme scheme. This is a no-no in commercial music. Industry pro's see this and automatically assume you don't know what you're doing, even if the rest of the song is well written! It's stupid...but it's reality. Personally, I like the rhyme scheme in Verse 2 where the 1st 2 lines do NOT rhyme. Song Story Line:Your bridge came as a surprise to me! On first listen I was assuming they were in a fairly new relationship and he was just afraid to go too fast. I realize you said in opening line "but you don't know me." I interpreted that as she hadn't gotten to know the real you yet. Maybe this was your intention, or maybe I'm just slow lol. Either way, I would choose 1 of 2 scenarios and re-write some of the verse lyrics accordingly:Scenario 1:The couple is in a new relationship (or at least friends) and you are simply head over heels for her but don't want to scare her awayScenario 2:The way it is...they are NOT in any sort of relationship.If you were the artist, I'd say either scenario works. But if you're trying to pitch this song to current country artists, I'd say go with scenario 1. Male country artists these days are pretty egotistical and would rather come off as cute than as a stalker. That being said, here are some ideas to make scenario 1 work.1st Verse-start supporting hook sooner-tell story line of you know this girl (as friends or dating - you don't really need to define) and that you want to tell her so badly that you love her but you know betterChorus:I'd be more specific about why you can't just tell her. "I see heartache ahead" is good but explain that. What is her specific reaction you're afraid of happening? Don't wanna move too fast, afraid she isn't feeling the same, etc.2nd Verse:I wouldn't repeat the 2nd half of first line - say something new. I think the stuff you're saying here is what I want in the 5th and 6th lines of chorus. Maybe take a whole new angle in 2nd verse like you know you should play hard to get but it's so hard.Bridge:Unfortunately, with this scenario the entire bridge would have to change. Lots of options but here are some ideas:-you wish you could speed ahead in time to where you're "together"-how do you hold it in?-difference between being honest and "the game"I realize I'm on one hand saying I like your lyrics, but then suggesting you re-write most of them! It's simply because I think you will have a much better chance with pitching song to an artist with Scenario 1.Recording:Great recording. Great singer. The only thing I would change is intro. For commercial pitches keep intro less than 14 seconds. Sounds crazy I know, but I've actually been in a meeting with a Pro publisher and after 20 seconds of my $1,000 demo they stopped it and told me my intro was too long and never listened to song.

Quote From Pro: Very nice song Al! You clearly are no amateur. I'm impressed by your songwriting and the high recording quality. This song has market potential, I think you're a few tweaks away from having a very special song.

Broadjam Artist: Larry Chaney
Song: Let The Rough Side Drag

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)

Pro General Comments: There's a lot going on here. At first, it's a nice vibe - feels pretty modern country, lots of energy, good vocal performance, tight, strong band. But I never immediately connect with the lyric and what's truly happening. There's a ton of set up to get to the hook, which is a phrase I haven't heard before, so I am left wondering exactly what the song is about. That may just be my shortcoming, but my main concern is that musically the shift into the chorus feels like such a massive modal/key change that it might be a bridge, not a chorus, or even a whole new song. That transition, I suggest, should be reworked to feel more like a radio song (the simpler, the better). You're also clocking in at nearly five minutes, and you should shoot for around 3 minutes for a tempo country radio tune. I think this song has the bones to be super awesome, I would just love a shorter arrangement, and a different musical set up for that chorus lift. It's got tons of energy, a great vocal and a really cool vibe, it's just not quite there yet. Perhaps there is also a lyrical way to clarify the meaning of your hook for those of us not familiar with the phrase as well?

Quote From Pro: Tons of energy and a killer vocal propel this rockin' country tune into the stratosphere!

Broadjam Artist: Elza
Song: someone for everyone

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Chris Keaton (Music Publisher, Artist Manager, Song Plugger)

Pro General Comments: As I look at the choices I have made in the review section I see that all are excellent except for the n/a. There's a reason for that.Let's start with the first line and the engaging vocal timbre. I was hooked from the first breath. The voice is both mysterious and calming. The pitch is right on and as the track slowly builds each instrument finds its rightful place in the essence of the track. What appeals most to me is the fact that this track could easily have been overblown and bombastic (since it is about a wedding, for crying out loud!) But the production ever overshadows the fairy tale beauty of the moment when two people become one and vow to stay as one forever.The hopefulness of the statement "it gives me faith that there is someone for everyone" is mind-blowing and beautiful.Words fail me to express how good I find this recording to be. Lyrics, melody, performance, recording, mix all are exceptional and make for what , in my professional opinion, music is supposed to be: magical and transcending.I wish you all the success in the world with this song. What you have created, it gives me faith that incredible beauty exists in words and music. Thank you!

Quote From Pro: This song gives me faith that incredible beauty exists in words and music. Thank you!