Month: March 2021

Broadjam Artist: Randall Mark
Song: Wonder Boy(KaytLynn)

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tom Worth (Songwriter, Producer, Pro Songwriting Coach)

Pro General Comments: I'd pay more attention to my comments and not the ratings I just posted:A very enjoyable song to listen to! Kudos! A beautiful vocal over some catchy and playful melodies! This would be a great film/tv pitch. But I do have some suggestions to make it even better! Music:Overall music/production is great! The singer is wonderful and actually sounds a lot like a friend of mine - Mindy Gledhill. She's a singer out of Utah. I only have a couple suggestions recording wise. And if you simply wanted songwriting feedback and are aware of what I'm about to say...my apologies!-The acoustic guitar in intro is a little sloppy timing wise. I also think its tone could be smoother.- I think the male background vocals in chorus is a little loud. - I would have the 2nd chorus flow like the 3rd chorus does (not have a break after the first "heaven on mars.")-Singer needs to be tuned in a couple spots: "me" in 3rd line of 2nd chorus"But I'm" sounds funky at beginning of Verse 3Songwriting:GREAT songwriting. This song is fun and quirky...JUST what film/TV seems to love! Great melodies. Here are some lyric suggestions:Verse 1:I think your 1st two lines could be stronger. Your verses are pretty short. It's really just these 2 lines (I see 3rd and 4th line as a pre chorus). So use them to say more. I would not use so many "you's."Technically speaking the rhyme schemes in your verses don't match. In each verse you have internal rhymes which is great, but in the 1st and 3rd verse the last word of the first and second lines rhyme, whereas they do NOT in verse 2. You should be consistent with rhyme schemes. Personally I like your rhyme scheme in the 2nd verse. That being said I'd change the internal rhyme sound in the 1st or 2nd line of verse 1 and 3 to something other than a "you" rhyme. I think you have a wonderful play on words that you're not using to its potential. You wait until the 3rd pre chorus to use "wonder boy" as a noun. That's brilliant!! I'd do it sooner (every pre chorus). For example, 1st and 2nd pre: "And I wonder wonder and I wonder boyCould you be my wonder boy" or something similarChorus 1:"Break my heart into two" is a bit clich. I know this song is cute so you can probably get away with it...but if you can beat it I would.LOVE the heaven on mars lineVerse 2 and Chorus 2 are perfectVerse 3:I don't love "not even a few." You already said "not even a word" so saying "not even a few" seems redundant. Chorus 3:I LOVE how you went to 3rd person here. Brilliant! Just an idea (meaning it's fine as is but maybe this would improve it). Might be cool if last line of last chorus said:"I'll take heaven on earth or heaven on mars." Just a thought. This line may also work as a tag after you say your current last line as wellOutro:I'd have a little more space between end of chorus and outroI hope you find my suggestions helpful! Keep up the great work!

Quote From Pro: A very enjoyable song to listen to - kudos! A beautiful vocal over some catchy and playful melodies!

Broadjam Artist: William Smith
Song: Dance

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Doug Diamond (Music Supervisor, Engineer, Producer, Composer )

Pro General Comments: Hi William -Thanks for letting me know about you and your song, "Dance".In general, I like it. Well done. Are there a few things that might be improved upon? Sure. We'll address those as much as possible.Coming from a production/engineering/technical background (I'm a mastering and mix engineer as well as a music supervisor), the production value of the recording is usually the first thing I notice. In the case of "Dance", personally, I think it has excellent production value. The recording is nice and clean-sounding - and professional. In my world of sync placements and licensing see, it's the artist's own recording that gets used (versus someone re-recording a really great song... that does/can happen, but usually not in the indie music/placement industry), so therefore the original recording has to be killer and be every bit as competitive as a major label artist/song might be.I did notice this though, which I thought was odd: Is that a cough at 2:42 and 2:51? It's probably not, but I'd remove those personally, as it's distracting should be simple to do so.I think the song itself is very solid. Really good songwriting and an excellent hook/main melody. I think it's very memorable, so nice work there.I do think the title is a little forgettable though. Simple yes, but it's also a very popular music genre, so when I saw it first thing... I thought "Oh, it's a Dance song, but... what's the name of it?". Make sense? I'd add the bit in parenthesis if it were me: "(All You Gotta Do Is) Dance" just to differentiate it from the genre type. Simple is good, but confusion isn't.I like the lyrics a lot too. I can tell you've been doing this awhile as you haven't made some of the same mistakes that new writers sometimes make. I wouldn't change anything there.Also, I like how the song actually has a final ending, versus a fade-out. Very cool - and - creative. It just sort of wraps-up nicely.The song length is good too... not too long and would make it easy for someone like me to pitch it to my clients it's not a 6-minute opus, you know?Love the drums. I'm a drummer, so I can definitely appreciate what you have here. Great playing. Is it you or someone you brought in? Very cool either way. To me, these do *not* sound "1980s", they sound modern.If it were about 1990 or so, I think this song could easily be a radio hit for a major artist - as a re-record/re-make of your version.Speaking of that, I think what you have here is an excellent demo that you could use to pitch to artists to try and get someone to cut it if you want to go that route (no changes necessary to do that).Let's address your questions below.

Quote From Pro: "Dance" by William Smith is the best '80s song that the '80s missed out on hearing. Seriously, it's a really great song with excellent musical performances and production value, great lyrics, and a memorable hook. Nice job!

Broadjam Artist: William Smith
Song: Dance

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Doug Diamond (Music Supervisor, Engineer, Producer, Composer )

Pro General Comments: Hi William -Thanks for letting me know about you and your song, "Dance".In general, I like it. Well done. Are there a few things that might be improved upon? Sure. We'll address those as much as possible.Coming from a production/engineering/technical background (I'm a mastering and mix engineer as well as a music supervisor), the production value of the recording is usually the first thing I notice. In the case of "Dance", personally, I think it has excellent production value. The recording is nice and clean-sounding - and professional. In my world of sync placements and licensing see, it's the artist's own recording that gets used (versus someone re-recording a really great song... that does/can happen, but usually not in the indie music/placement industry), so therefore the original recording has to be killer and be every bit as competitive as a major label artist/song might be.I did notice this though, which I thought was odd: Is that a cough at 2:42 and 2:51? It's probably not, but I'd remove those personally, as it's distracting should be simple to do so.I think the song itself is very solid. Really good songwriting and an excellent hook/main melody. I think it's very memorable, so nice work there.I do think the title is a little forgettable though. Simple yes, but it's also a very popular music genre, so when I saw it first thing... I thought "Oh, it's a Dance song, but... what's the name of it?". Make sense? I'd add the bit in parenthesis if it were me: "(All You Gotta Do Is) Dance" just to differentiate it from the genre type. Simple is good, but confusion isn't.I like the lyrics a lot too. I can tell you've been doing this awhile as you haven't made some of the same mistakes that new writers sometimes make. I wouldn't change anything there.Also, I like how the song actually has a final ending, versus a fade-out. Very cool - and - creative. It just sort of wraps-up nicely.The song length is good too... not too long and would make it easy for someone like me to pitch it to my clients it's not a 6-minute opus, you know?Love the drums. I'm a drummer, so I can definitely appreciate what you have here. Great playing. Is it you or someone you brought in? Very cool either way. To me, these do *not* sound "1980s", they sound modern.If it were about 1990 or so, I think this song could easily be a radio hit for a major artist - as a re-record/re-make of your version.Speaking of that, I think what you have here is an excellent demo that you could use to pitch to artists to try and get someone to cut it if you want to go that route (no changes necessary to do that).Let's address your questions below.

Quote From Pro: "Dance" by William Smith is the best '80s song that the '80s missed out on hearing. Seriously, it's a really great song with excellent musical performances and production value, great lyrics, and a memorable hook. Nice job!

Broadjam Artist: Albatross
Song: Shortcut To Love

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tom Worth (Songwriter, Producer, Pro Songwriting Coach)

Pro General Comments: Very nice song Al! You clearly are no amateur. I'm impressed by your songwriting and the high recording quality. This song has market potential, I think you're a few tweaks away from having a very special song.Lyrics:Overall, your lyrics are very good, but I'd like to see you supporting/building up the hook in the first verse. For example, you could start off song with something like "You're all I want I want to rush right in and tell you." I'm not saying that's a great line, but it builds hook by saying you want to rush in (but there's no shortcut to love).Also - when pitching to a commercial market, it's important to follow those unofficial "rules" of commercial songwriting. Overall you did - well done! But, I'd suggest following the same rhyme scheme in each verse. Currently, Verse 1 has an AABC rhyme scheme while verse 2 has an ABCC rhyme scheme. This is a no-no in commercial music. Industry pro's see this and automatically assume you don't know what you're doing, even if the rest of the song is well written! It's stupid...but it's reality. Personally, I like the rhyme scheme in Verse 2 where the 1st 2 lines do NOT rhyme. Song Story Line:Your bridge came as a surprise to me! On first listen I was assuming they were in a fairly new relationship and he was just afraid to go too fast. I realize you said in opening line "but you don't know me." I interpreted that as she hadn't gotten to know the real you yet. Maybe this was your intention, or maybe I'm just slow lol. Either way, I would choose 1 of 2 scenarios and re-write some of the verse lyrics accordingly:Scenario 1:The couple is in a new relationship (or at least friends) and you are simply head over heels for her but don't want to scare her awayScenario 2:The way it is...they are NOT in any sort of relationship.If you were the artist, I'd say either scenario works. But if you're trying to pitch this song to current country artists, I'd say go with scenario 1. Male country artists these days are pretty egotistical and would rather come off as cute than as a stalker. That being said, here are some ideas to make scenario 1 work.1st Verse-start supporting hook sooner-tell story line of you know this girl (as friends or dating - you don't really need to define) and that you want to tell her so badly that you love her but you know betterChorus:I'd be more specific about why you can't just tell her. "I see heartache ahead" is good but explain that. What is her specific reaction you're afraid of happening? Don't wanna move too fast, afraid she isn't feeling the same, etc.2nd Verse:I wouldn't repeat the 2nd half of first line - say something new. I think the stuff you're saying here is what I want in the 5th and 6th lines of chorus. Maybe take a whole new angle in 2nd verse like you know you should play hard to get but it's so hard.Bridge:Unfortunately, with this scenario the entire bridge would have to change. Lots of options but here are some ideas:-you wish you could speed ahead in time to where you're "together"-how do you hold it in?-difference between being honest and "the game"I realize I'm on one hand saying I like your lyrics, but then suggesting you re-write most of them! It's simply because I think you will have a much better chance with pitching song to an artist with Scenario 1.Recording:Great recording. Great singer. The only thing I would change is intro. For commercial pitches keep intro less than 14 seconds. Sounds crazy I know, but I've actually been in a meeting with a Pro publisher and after 20 seconds of my $1,000 demo they stopped it and told me my intro was too long and never listened to song.

Quote From Pro: Very nice song Al! You clearly are no amateur. I'm impressed by your songwriting and the high recording quality. This song has market potential, I think you're a few tweaks away from having a very special song.

Broadjam Artist: BigAlbatross
Song: Shortcut To Love

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tom Worth (Songwriter, Producer, Pro Songwriting Coach)

Pro General Comments: Very nice song Al! You clearly are no amateur. I'm impressed by your songwriting and the high recording quality. This song has market potential, I think you're a few tweaks away from having a very special song.Lyrics:Overall, your lyrics are very good, but I'd like to see you supporting/building up the hook in the first verse. For example, you could start off song with something like "You're all I want I want to rush right in and tell you." I'm not saying that's a great line, but it builds hook by saying you want to rush in (but there's no shortcut to love).Also - when pitching to a commercial market, it's important to follow those unofficial "rules" of commercial songwriting. Overall you did - well done! But, I'd suggest following the same rhyme scheme in each verse. Currently, Verse 1 has an AABC rhyme scheme while verse 2 has an ABCC rhyme scheme. This is a no-no in commercial music. Industry pro's see this and automatically assume you don't know what you're doing, even if the rest of the song is well written! It's stupid...but it's reality. Personally, I like the rhyme scheme in Verse 2 where the 1st 2 lines do NOT rhyme. Song Story Line:Your bridge came as a surprise to me! On first listen I was assuming they were in a fairly new relationship and he was just afraid to go too fast. I realize you said in opening line "but you don't know me." I interpreted that as she hadn't gotten to know the real you yet. Maybe this was your intention, or maybe I'm just slow lol. Either way, I would choose 1 of 2 scenarios and re-write some of the verse lyrics accordingly:Scenario 1:The couple is in a new relationship (or at least friends) and you are simply head over heels for her but don't want to scare her awayScenario 2:The way it is...they are NOT in any sort of relationship.If you were the artist, I'd say either scenario works. But if you're trying to pitch this song to current country artists, I'd say go with scenario 1. Male country artists these days are pretty egotistical and would rather come off as cute than as a stalker. That being said, here are some ideas to make scenario 1 work.1st Verse-start supporting hook sooner-tell story line of you know this girl (as friends or dating - you don't really need to define) and that you want to tell her so badly that you love her but you know betterChorus:I'd be more specific about why you can't just tell her. "I see heartache ahead" is good but explain that. What is her specific reaction you're afraid of happening? Don't wanna move too fast, afraid she isn't feeling the same, etc.2nd Verse:I wouldn't repeat the 2nd half of first line - say something new. I think the stuff you're saying here is what I want in the 5th and 6th lines of chorus. Maybe take a whole new angle in 2nd verse like you know you should play hard to get but it's so hard.Bridge:Unfortunately, with this scenario the entire bridge would have to change. Lots of options but here are some ideas:-you wish you could speed ahead in time to where you're "together"-how do you hold it in?-difference between being honest and "the game"I realize I'm on one hand saying I like your lyrics, but then suggesting you re-write most of them! It's simply because I think you will have a much better chance with pitching song to an artist with Scenario 1.Recording:Great recording. Great singer. The only thing I would change is intro. For commercial pitches keep intro less than 14 seconds. Sounds crazy I know, but I've actually been in a meeting with a Pro publisher and after 20 seconds of my $1,000 demo they stopped it and told me my intro was too long and never listened to song.

Quote From Pro: Very nice song Al! You clearly are no amateur. I'm impressed by your songwriting and the high recording quality. This song has market potential, I think you're a few tweaks away from having a very special song.

Broadjam Artist: Larry Chaney
Song: Let The Rough Side Drag

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)

Pro General Comments: There's a lot going on here. At first, it's a nice vibe - feels pretty modern country, lots of energy, good vocal performance, tight, strong band. But I never immediately connect with the lyric and what's truly happening. There's a ton of set up to get to the hook, which is a phrase I haven't heard before, so I am left wondering exactly what the song is about. That may just be my shortcoming, but my main concern is that musically the shift into the chorus feels like such a massive modal/key change that it might be a bridge, not a chorus, or even a whole new song. That transition, I suggest, should be reworked to feel more like a radio song (the simpler, the better). You're also clocking in at nearly five minutes, and you should shoot for around 3 minutes for a tempo country radio tune. I think this song has the bones to be super awesome, I would just love a shorter arrangement, and a different musical set up for that chorus lift. It's got tons of energy, a great vocal and a really cool vibe, it's just not quite there yet. Perhaps there is also a lyrical way to clarify the meaning of your hook for those of us not familiar with the phrase as well?

Quote From Pro: Tons of energy and a killer vocal propel this rockin' country tune into the stratosphere!

Broadjam Artist: Larry Chaney
Song: Let The Rough Side Drag

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)

Pro General Comments: There's a lot going on here. At first, it's a nice vibe - feels pretty modern country, lots of energy, good vocal performance, tight, strong band. But I never immediately connect with the lyric and what's truly happening. There's a ton of set up to get to the hook, which is a phrase I haven't heard before, so I am left wondering exactly what the song is about. That may just be my shortcoming, but my main concern is that musically the shift into the chorus feels like such a massive modal/key change that it might be a bridge, not a chorus, or even a whole new song. That transition, I suggest, should be reworked to feel more like a radio song (the simpler, the better). You're also clocking in at nearly five minutes, and you should shoot for around 3 minutes for a tempo country radio tune. I think this song has the bones to be super awesome, I would just love a shorter arrangement, and a different musical set up for that chorus lift. It's got tons of energy, a great vocal and a really cool vibe, it's just not quite there yet. Perhaps there is also a lyrical way to clarify the meaning of your hook for those of us not familiar with the phrase as well?

Quote From Pro: Tons of energy and a killer vocal propel this rockin' country tune into the stratosphere!

Broadjam Artist: Elza
Song: someone for everyone

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Chris Keaton (Music Publisher, Artist Manager, Song Plugger)

Pro General Comments: As I look at the choices I have made in the review section I see that all are excellent except for the n/a. There's a reason for that.Let's start with the first line and the engaging vocal timbre. I was hooked from the first breath. The voice is both mysterious and calming. The pitch is right on and as the track slowly builds each instrument finds its rightful place in the essence of the track. What appeals most to me is the fact that this track could easily have been overblown and bombastic (since it is about a wedding, for crying out loud!) But the production ever overshadows the fairy tale beauty of the moment when two people become one and vow to stay as one forever.The hopefulness of the statement "it gives me faith that there is someone for everyone" is mind-blowing and beautiful.Words fail me to express how good I find this recording to be. Lyrics, melody, performance, recording, mix all are exceptional and make for what , in my professional opinion, music is supposed to be: magical and transcending.I wish you all the success in the world with this song. What you have created, it gives me faith that incredible beauty exists in words and music. Thank you!

Quote From Pro: This song gives me faith that incredible beauty exists in words and music. Thank you!

Broadjam Artist: Elza
Song: someone for everyone

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Chris Keaton (Music Publisher, Artist Manager, Song Plugger)

Pro General Comments: As I look at the choices I have made in the review section I see that all are excellent except for the n/a. There's a reason for that.Let's start with the first line and the engaging vocal timbre. I was hooked from the first breath. The voice is both mysterious and calming. The pitch is right on and as the track slowly builds each instrument finds its rightful place in the essence of the track. What appeals most to me is the fact that this track could easily have been overblown and bombastic (since it is about a wedding, for crying out loud!) But the production ever overshadows the fairy tale beauty of the moment when two people become one and vow to stay as one forever.The hopefulness of the statement "it gives me faith that there is someone for everyone" is mind-blowing and beautiful.Words fail me to express how good I find this recording to be. Lyrics, melody, performance, recording, mix all are exceptional and make for what , in my professional opinion, music is supposed to be: magical and transcending.I wish you all the success in the world with this song. What you have created, it gives me faith that incredible beauty exists in words and music. Thank you!

Quote From Pro: This song gives me faith that incredible beauty exists in words and music. Thank you!

Broadjam Artist: Bhaskar_The_Maximalist
Song: DarkEpicTheatrical

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)

Pro General Comments: There are some really interesting lines moving throughout this piece of music. I like the way it eventually builds but the introduction section doesn't have any nuance to it at all...I'd like to hear the sound of the advancing storm or army in the distance slowly building to the impending doom that is about to strike. Start slowly and do a gradual build with more dynamics. A gradual crescendo using more instruments being added on and a faint percussive track in the distance that grows as the tension builds. The Violins adding rhythmic tension above the cannon explosions of sound and Just when you think it can't get any stronger...an abrupt stop and then boom full scale tonal assault. Like any war or storm there is a gradual ebbing and diminishing that slowly fades but that is totally up to you. 03:24 is a good length for a music supervisor. I really like the percussive rhythms that give the piece an underlying feel of action. The bass line needs a lot of work in my opinion.

Quote From Pro: Bhaskar possesses all the musical skills necessary to be successful in creating cinematic orchestral scores that will paint tonal soundscapes to compliment any movie trailer or action scene.