Broadjam Artist: Charles Edmund Carter
Song: Gold And Tears
Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)
Pro General Comments: Charles, this is excellent music. I love these big block chords.The melody is good, and the phrasing of the lyrics is good.I think the Chorus Is not different enough from the verses to stand out at all. The Chorus needs to soar. I would suggest you look into that.But the main problem I have is that it is a difficult set of lyrics, a difficult story to become involved in. Somewhere here I want to have sympathy for the singer, but it's hard when the only thing that comes to mind is the old saying, "There's no fool like an old fool."If you could say something like she came on to you, but you were wise to her, maybe. Maybe you knew she was a gold-digger, but she was so cute you played along, knowing how it would end. Gold and tears were all you had to pay to be around her beauty for a day.Our job as songwriters is to somehow entice the listener to feel for the singer. Can you go through this song again with that in mind? It might make this sound a lot stronger.Also, I would like to see some imagery somewhere in here. Your music is full of color and depth. The lyrics should be that way, too.The chord structure you have here is AMAZING. The lyrics should be as cool and different as the music bed they will lie in.The story of your lyrics is old and predictable. I know your work. I think you're capable of better than this.
Quote From Pro: Charles Edmund Carter creates fascinating music!
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