Broadjam Artist: William Smith
Song: Sorry Doesn't Fit Here
Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)
Pro General Comments: Hi William,I'm not sure if you wrote this song for you to perform or if you want other artists to record your song. The negative story line will make it difficult to attract other artists unless they are going through a bad relationship with a woman who has constantly lied to them and they are through putting up with her. Why has he waited so long to call this bad relationship off? Has he been in denial all these years or has he kept looking the other way because he hoped she would stop lying? The form or the song is more alternative than contemporary. There are 4 verses and the verses are not all using the same meter, phrasing and rhyme scheme. This makes the song form interesting but unpredictable. If you want your listener to remember the words and music so they can sing along try to match the meter, phrasing, rhyme and melody of all the verses. The most common form for this type of retro R&B song is verse/chorus/verse/chorus/bridge/chorus. There are of course other forms that have worked. There are very few 4 verse songs in today's commercial market. For every slow heartbreak, sad, break-up song you write my advice is write 5 uptempo positive songs. Happy positive songs are more likely to get recorded and released in my opinion. Your vocal is good. The song feels happy and positive but the lyric is dark and gloomy. The music is well performed but again it feels more like a happy positive song in my opinion.
Quote From Pro: William Smith is a talent worth watching. His vocals and melodies are commercial and interesting. Keep your eyes and ears tuned in.