Month: August 2021

Broadjam Artist: Charles Edmund Carter
Song: Save A Little For Me

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Your demos are excellent. You have a great group of people who are producing your stuff.Your hook is not bad. I like the way your chorus works. I'm not crazy about some of the lines in it, but I could actually hear people singing that after they heard it a couple of times. Good work.However, this verse:"I thought that we would always be together I vowed to you we'd never be apartI meant each word I said at that sweet unionI guess I didn't take my vow to heart"?These are what we call in the business "throw away lyrics". They have been said thousands of times in thousands of songs, and over the years have grown completely meaningless.You walk into a publisher's office with a set of lyrics like that in your song, you will quickly be shown the back door.Imagery, Charles, IMAGERY. Draw me a picture of what she will be saving a little of for him. Make every verse a picture of something that they did together before she took off. Use your imagination.Go through every line looking for words, syllables, anything you can reword in a shorter way, or eliminate. For instance, get rid of the "just" at the start of the second line in the second verse.I think I may have mentioned this before, but just in case---do whatever you have to do to obtain a copy of Writing Better Lyrics by Pat Pattison. GET THAT BOOK, Charles. You will NOT believe what it does for you.

Quote From Pro: Charles Edmond Carter knows how to rock the country when he wants to.

Broadjam Artist: LC Wells
Song: Something's Wrong With America

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Jeseka Price (Publisher, Producer)

Pro General Comments: I really love the song and the overall meaning behind it! I think the title is very appropriate or you could change it to What's Wrong With America if you wanted to, but clearly, you have a great title and don't need to do a thing to it! Excellent job!! Also, I really liked the songwriting, but there were some parts I felt may not be needed as much. For Example, I personally wasn't a fan of the intro, because to me it felt a bit too long and a little too chanty or something but I can't put my finger on why it didn't grab me right away, I personally just feel like nowadays peoples attention span is extremely short, songs are shorter than they used to be, along with the fact Artists you hardly see them putting out a full 16 track album, so It concerns me with the long intro for the reason of someone possibly pressing the next button without giving the song a fair shot or chance like it deserves! I am extremely passionate about music clearly, and opinions of course are just as some ppl say they....everyone has an opinion but that doesn't make it right or wrong as you know- so please don't take it to any offense. I just want to make sure your song has the best chance and I give it my fair, honest review with respect to the music in general. However, I really did love and enjoy the overall song and melody again it is really catchy and has the Aretha / Rock & The activist feeling to it, very well done! I think this song has great potential if you change just a few things I mentioned or not, but oh last thing! I loveeeeeed the electric guitar solo, that rocked, maybe just cut the song short by a min at 4min vs 5!

Quote From Pro: However, I really did love and enjoy the overall song and melody again it is really catchy and has the Aretha / Rock & The activist feeling to it, very well done! I think this song has great potential if you change just a few things I mentioned or not, but oh last thing! I loveeeeeed the electric guitar solo, that rocked, maybe just cut the song short by a min at 4min vs 5!