Month: October 2020

Broadjam Artist: Purple Tone Flower
Song: I Wanna Make It

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)

Pro General Comments: what i could make out lyrically sounded good but to be honest i couldn't understand every word. The persons change from first person I'm gonna make it to second person you're going to make it which was slightly confusing. I'm not sure what you want to change. I really love the groove and the confidence of your vocal. I feel your angst and i believe you will change your circumstance. Believability is more than half the battle. Instrumentally this is very commercial. The blend of Soul, R&B and urban really makes this track enjoyable and easy to listen to. It's toe tapping and feels good. The bass line is catchy and memorable and the guitar solos show excellent musicianship. Overall the track shows exceptional talent.

Quote From Pro: Purple Tone Flower is a hybrid of soul, R+B, funk and urban that blends together to create an enjoyable grooving experience that will be both relaxing and exuberating.

Broadjam Artist: Terry Blade
Song: Mr. Robertson

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Todd Herfindal (Songwriter, Musician, Producer, Engineer, Indie Record Label)

Pro General Comments: Really nice soulfully delivered vocals, that help to punctuate some authentic, moving emotions. I love the subtle mix of an RnB influence in the melody and delivery. . .which is a nice juxtaposition against the otherwise folky vibe. What seems pretty clear in the song, is that the lyrics tell a clear story of what sounds like parental abandonment. With that having been said, the phrasing comes across as confident, self-aware with a sobered perspective. The end result is that while there is inherent sadness in the emotions, the song isn't weighted down by them. So the end result is that the listeners perceives strength, resolve in the owner of this story (the artist/singer). The overall dynamic of the song is driven by a single acoustic guitar, lead and background vocals. The structure resembles an intro-verse-chorus type of arrangement and works well to frame the three main sections. The bridge does a nice job of summing up the state of the protagonist's emotions after so many years of estrangement from what again, sounds like a parental figure.What I like here is that the lyrics come across as cathartic and very meaningful to the singer. With that said, there may be one area within the lyrics that could be troublesome for the purposes of film/tv pitches. This may or may not be meaningful to you, depending on your goals for the song. The lyrics are generally universal except for the "Mr. Robertson" lyrical payoff, which might come across as too specific for some film/tv contexts. For film/tv pitches, citations of specifics like names, places, or situational detail can sometimes be problematic for synchs. Something to keep in mind. The production is simple, solid, and potent. I would love to hear a more fully expanded production that manages to keep the vocals and all the emotions therein, was the main focus. A light acoustic ensemble sound with some tasteful light drums, piano, organ along with acoustic guitar and voice could be a good starting point for future expansion of productions. Thanks for letting me listen. I enjoyed it very much. Best of luck!

Quote From Pro: Really nice soulfully delivered vocals, that help to punctuate some authentic, moving emotions. I love the subtle mix of an RnB influence in the melody and delivery. . .which is a nice juxtaposition against the otherwise folky vibe.

Broadjam Artist: Purple Tone Flower
Song: We will Fight for Us

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)

Pro General Comments: you grabbed my attention with the high energy guitar intro which was familiar...the bass line was very loud and dominated the track in my opinion...it was funky and melodic and i liked it but it was overpowering...the vocal was distorted and i honestly could not understand the lyric... i had to strain to try to make out a few words here and there and i quickly became distracted. If this had horns it would easily become a Tower of Power song...It had elements of early Temptations during their psychodelic stage and combined 70's 80's and 90's funk with a kick ass R&B groove. I enjoyed the rhythms and the musicianship. My only real concerns are the mix and the vocal. I would advise a re-mix. The vocal sounded as if it was recorded too hot in the red. If this is a message song then understanding the lyric is essential.

Quote From Pro: Purple Tone Flower offers the best of high energy retro R&B, funk and soul with current social messaging of what's happening in today's world.

Broadjam Artist: Randall Mark
Song: Facebook Addict

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)

Pro General Comments: Hi Randall, This song might go over well at a song writer's night because it does have dark humor and face book is something most people are addicted to...your story is bizarre but that made it interesting and it's different which also makes it unpredictable. your opening line could be stronger...What is "normal" to you will not be "normal" to everyone. Painting yourself as a frequent hard drug user is not something I'd advise you do in front of your fans friends and family...saying hard drugs bore you suggests to tried them all and you needed something stronger. Here's where the dark humor comes in. Face book took the place of all those drugs and you became a face book junkie. I'll give you credit for daring to be different and taking chances. I'm not hearing this as a hit song to be played on the radio but I can see this as a satirical video on you tube. Calling yourself a face book whore caught my attention for sure. Selling yourself for a cell phone is definitely weird and outrageous which makes it bizarrely entertaining. the simple guitar/vocal is all you need to get this song across. Be more detailed and descriptive. Use more imagery to paint interesting word pictures. Think three minute video. Don't hold back or play it safe. I love the chorus. Cool chord progression and catchy memorable melody. The simplicity of the demo is key in my opinion. Don't over produce this song...The guitar groove reminds me of the Doors...retro groove with a contemporary subject matter is a fresh approach...your rhyme is good. lots of consistency. that should help your listener learn the words easily.

Quote From Pro: Randall Mark's dark humor will make you laugh at yourself and give your starved brain food for thought all at the same time. "Different" "Unique" "Outrageously entertaining" are a few words that hit the "Mark"

Broadjam Artist: Paul Reidy
Song: Talk to the Wind

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)

Pro General Comments: Hi Paul , it would help to know if you wrote this for yourself to promote and perform or if you wrote it for others to record. My evaluation would be very different for both. The subject matter suggests to me that this is about a child who is being physically abused by someone in her family. This type of song isn't exactly radio friendly but it can still be an effective song for groups and causes fighting to end child abuse. It's very sad and dark and it will most likely make an emotional connection with everyone who has been personally impacted by child abuse. I give you credit for tackling this very disturbing problem. The prosody is good...the music matches the lyric...the vocal is powerful and with the the strong piano the song gets a little loud in spots. Just my opinion but I felt the piano was competing with your vocal to be heard. This would be a much more effective song with a slightly slower tempo and a more subdued piano accompaniment. I would take out the percussion part and go with a piano/vocal

Quote From Pro: Paul, go ahead and e-mail me both versions along with any lyric changes you made... my3kidsmusic@comcast.net I hope this critique was helpful...if you have any questions include them in your e-mail and I'll respond. Bob

Broadjam Artist: SKY HIGH MUSIC LABS
Song: He's Got A Flame Jessa

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)

Pro General Comments: This is the weakest song of the three you submitted. It's a bit cliche in its musical approach and the vocalist is still missing a real emotional engagement to make the lyric and performance memorable. You may want to bring the tempo back just a little to let her really nail this take. It just feels forced as is to me right now. Again, I love that you do fun, tempo songs because those translate live into a good time for the audience. The instruments sound great overall. The mix is close but no cigar, as the vocal needs to sit in it a bit more comfortably. Lyrically this one is a bit awkward, and I wonder if there is a stronger title or clearer way to the hook. The other two songs were crystal clear, strong hooks that left nothing to guess. This one is more uncertain. I think you guys are on to a cool song with a lot of promise, just continue to focus on the clearest, most memorable hooks and really getting the best vocal takes possible since bluegrass demands vocal excellence.

Quote From Pro: Dance-able and fun bluegrass tune that harkens back to some of the tongue-and-cheek vocals of early Dixie Chicks.

Broadjam Artist: SKY HIGH MUSIC LABS
Song: Having The Time Of Our Lives

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)

Pro General Comments: I really like that this a positive, uplifting tune. I bet it gets people dancing. I have some of the same concerns with this one, however, as your first submission. The vocal is good but not overtly compelling. I really want the vocal to be amazing emotionally and I feel like the singer is giving me a performance rather than a heartfelt take. That may just be a question of the engineering but it's worth really trying to get the best out of this singer because that's simply so important to bluegrass. You have to be top notch to really cut through. The guitar and other instruments sound like they are at that level and I want the singer to be at the top of her game as well. Production could help this by settling the vocal into the mix a bit more carefully and watching the tuning. I like the lyric and the melody, simple and memorable. At first I wasn't exactly sure what was going on lyrically, but in the end I felt as though this was a song about being in the moment and loving life and goodness knows we need more songs about that! Keep up the good work and just keep trying to really get an incredible vocal take that can take you to the next level.

Quote From Pro: A fun, uptempo bluegrass romp that will leave you feeling like you've had the "Time of Your Life" too!

Broadjam Artist: SKY HIGH MUSIC LABS
Song: I've Known All Along

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)

Pro General Comments: This is a nice, feel-good bluegrass-leaning country song. I have a feeling it is well liked by audiences. The vocal is good, but not as top notch as some bluegrass singers where the phrasing and pitch is airtight. Harmonies are similar, they are good but not at an A+ game level. However, the feel of the whole song is lovely. I see this as a song for you as an artist more than a song to pitch. I like the storytelling and the hook is memorable, as is the melody, which is infectious and will likely be stuck in my head for awhile. I think a slightly more compelling vocal take would take this from good to great. The production feels really good, though you may want to turn the vocal down slightly to really nail the blend and vibe. This is overall one of the stronger sounding demo I've reviewed on Broadjam so you are certainly headed in the right direction. You're not breaking any new ground musically but you're headed in the right direction. Look for songs that really create a spark and passion in the vocal so the emotion translates to the listener.

Quote From Pro: A rollicking-fun bluegrass song about falling in love. Lovely harmonies and melody will make you smile.

Broadjam Artist: Randall Mark
Song: Facebook Addict

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Doug Diamond (Music Supervisor, Engineer, Producer, Composer )

Pro General Comments: Hi Randall -Good to hear from you again. Yes, "Facebook Addict" is a unique idea for a song, so good job there. I mastered a song for a band awhile back called "Facebook Famous" which is I guess the next step after that... once you're addicted and then become really known for it. So people are definitely focusing on the addictive nature that is social media. You've done a good job of capturing that idea in your somewhat humorous / somewhat a-little-too-close-for-comfort lyric for certain folks, where it really has become an addition or problem. Without getting off into a diatribe about addiction or at least people who have those tendencies with just about anything, I do think your song does capture a certain desperation of people who will do or at least consider doing anything to "get that fix". All in all, I do like the concept and feel that it shows promise, however, I'd definitely address a few things before putting this song in more of a final form.The first thing I noticed other than the lyric/idea of the song was that the melody or hook seems almost identical to "Wonder Girl" (or Boy). When this happens, you run the risk of pigeon-holing yourself and your songwriting style. Because people who know your stuff will think (or say) something like: "All of his songs sound the same". You know? Be careful of that. To me, right now, this song's melody/hook are "Wonder Boy" with different lyrics. I'd definitely have a look at that and see what you can do to change the melody itself so that it's not so close to the other song. For instance, if you think of your songs as your kids, you wouldn't want your 2nd kid to look and act just like your first one, right? They're not meant to be twins in this case, I don't think. To me, it's the same song at the moment, but with different lyrics. So that is a fairly major issue... If I hadn't heard "Wonder Boy" first, then I might think the opposite if I'd heard this one first, but right now, to me, they are interchangeable, melodically. Work on that one for sure...My next thoughts are really more about once you've addressed that, then "now what?".If this song had a broader appeal, meaning, more "universal" where everyone could relate to it, I think that would make it much better. Right now, where people might realize they have an addition to FB, they wouldn't compare their use of it to hardcore drug use, stealing, losing their families over it, and some of the other extremes you mention. So, because you're talking about those things in the song, it is sort of funny in a dark sense of the word a kind of black comedy - because this guy is so ridiculously addicted to FB that he'd go to all of these extremes just to satisfy his addiction. Very sad, but kind of stupidly funny if someone did that in real life, which... who knows. However, people don't usually go to that extreme either and those that do have other kinds of serious mental health issues too, not just addiction. So, it's a fine line to walk... keeping it funny without it being over-the-top where no one can really identify with it or making it unbelievable, lyrically. I hope that makes sense. You don't want it to be so ridiculous that the listener thinks not only, "that could never be me", but also you don't want them to think "NO ONE could EVER do that". At that point, it's gone past the point of no return and it doesn't really maintain it's sense of humor - and just becomes unbelievable. It simply MUST have a strong element of truth in it all the way through so that people can really identify with it. Also keep in mind, many people HATE Facebook. Others have never used it. So this song would not be identifiable to those. How can you draw in those people? Just something to keep in mind. Maybe verse one needs to be about his normal life, and then verse two and three can be about how he went from that to giving in completely and giving up everything he loves to get his fix.[MAX CHARACTERS EXCEEDED]

Quote From Pro: "Facebook Addict" is a (sad but) funny story about a guy who has literally given in to his addiction and lost everything he cares about in order to satisfy it. It might be a little too close for comfort for some folks, but it does a good job of capturing the power of addiction and taking it to the extreme of what could be possible within the human psyche.