Broadjam Artist: Charles Edmund Carter
Song: Millie From Oklahoma
Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)
Pro General Comments: Charles, once again your production team has knocked it out of the park. The music is excellently produced and well played.I'm wondering if these lyrics, however, might not be more suited to a ballad type of approach. We are talking about a desperate person here. It seems to me that if you're going to have this be a two-step up-tempo, you need to play it off as if you were making fun of Millie from Oklahoma for allowing herself to become so desperate. Or for her clueless thinking that the next cowboy was going to be different from the last.Some consideration should be given to the fact that you are four minutes and 40 seconds long. You will be hard-pressed to get that onto radio.I'm not so sure I'm crazy about having the entire first verse be a cappella. Maybe half of it, but the whole thing makes it a tad long.I'm also having a problem with the name of the song being "Millie From Oklahoma". You say "Millie from Oklahoma" ONCE at the very front of the song, and it's never mentioned again. That is not the definition of a hook or a title.I suggested "I Plan To Talk A While" as a title in the review section, but on further reflection, "Whiskey Gets Me Talking" might even be better.In my humble opinion, the bridge has got to go. It's way more depressing than even the body of the song, and the music doesn't even fit. You got a couple of big major ninth chords in there.It really is a huge speedbump.I would say break this song down into a verse-chorus-verse-chorus-bridge (a more appropriate one than the one here)-chorus-tag and out.Go over every line and show me some Charles Edmund Carter cleverness as you rewrite them. On this song, you probably have to do more cutting down than you do rewriting.Hope this helps. Keep the faith, brother.
Quote From Pro: Charles Edmund Carter knows how to lay down a two-step.