Broadjam Artist: Randall Rutledge
Song: Non Stop Flight
Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)
Pro General Comments: Randall and Raymond,First, I want to apologize for the length of time it took me to get this review back to you. In my defense, I got back form a medical mission trip to central Guatemala on March 18th, and I myself was sick for a week after we landed. Then the family showed up for a weekend, and that shot everything too. Not an excuse. Just an explanation.Now to the song.Love the groove you have going on here. Top-notch studio musicians.I think the idea of the song is excellent, and very hooky.I think that you could successfully place this song with some production libraries and do some good with it. Just on the strength of the tracks.Everything I say here is only my opinion. All I would try to do is inspire you to greater heights.I believe there is room for a lot of improvement in this song, and I will give you my suggestions.But please keep in mind they are only SUGGESTIONS.There's an old catch phrase among commercial songwriters. It's become an indispensable arrow in the songwriter's quiver. I give it to you as it was given to me long ago. Made me re-write every song I had with it in mind."Less is MORE".Every syllable must count. If you can think of a way to squeeze the number of syllables down, the further down you get it the stronger it becomes.For instance:"We taxi down the runway hand in hand". There is no need to add the words "We taxi". It makes it sound cumbersome, as if you have to hurry the lyric to get them in. And you can drop a few syllables in the second part of the line, and have it look like THIS:"Down the runway, hand in hand, we take off on our own flight plan"...Much easier to sing, much more fluid on the ear.Every line has to SNAP with cleverness and be different than the lines before it and after it."As we take off on the go" is kinda meaningless here. For one thing, you've already used the phrase "take off" in the first line. I'm of the opinion that the only thing that should be allowed to repeat in the whole song is the HOOK. It makes the hook more POWERFUL.You could get crazy and say "Leave our baggage in the hold, turn off air traffic control". (You can use that, free of charge, if you want to.)Every line in this song needs to lose weight to gain power, if you know what I mean.And do your best, whatever you have to do, to make sure you have NO CLICHES in your lyric, unless you are presenting them in a fresh way. These are words or phrases that have been used so many times, they lose their meaning.For instance:"On the go", "Our love is true"."Well around the world many things I've seen but loving you I've earned my wings" is repeated three times, which is okay if it's the chorus, but it doesn't stand out as melodically different from the rest of the song. The most successful song form in the history of the recorded music charts is Verse-Chorus-Verse-Chorus-Bridge Chorus. The chorus, in this form, should be completely different from the verses in melody and lyric. It's usually the only place where the hook is heard.I'm not really sure it matters in this song. It seems to have it's own form.But if that's the case, I would urge you to consider making every verse different, as in NO repetitions. If for no other reason, you are repeating the heck out of "Non-stop Flight, when I'm a-lovin' you", and everything else should be different, IMHO.Also, I would encourage you to try to make the verses a little less cumbersome in places. For instance:"We ignore radio frequency cause we're flying frequently" sounds a little tough to sing, and frequency and frequently are the same words, really. See if you can come up with something to beat that.Remember, you don't HAVE to have EVERY line be an airplane reference.If you give this song a re-write with these ideas in mind, I think you may end up with a stronger, more commercially viable piece of music.And I wish you the best of luck.
Quote From Pro: Randall Rutledge can take you around the world on a NON-STOP FLIGHT. Fun music, good times.