Broadjam Artist: Paradox Playground - Judy Calem and Jim Beggs / Aerial Au
Song: I'M STILL HERE
Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Diana Williamson (Songwriter, Music Supervisor)
Pro General Comments: I'm Still HerePlease note: I don't comment on quality of individual instrumentation as my expertise delves more into overall performance, marketing, melody, etc Woah. Great topic to tackle. If you've watched Ricky Gervais's hit show "After Life" he tackles the pain of death- and makes it dark humour/funny. It's raw and somehow- laughing at the pain- helps. So I applaud you for tackling such a hard subject. It's always a great idea to tackle deep subjects like this as not many do- so you will stand out. That song by Death Cab for Cutie: "Follow You into the Dark" was a song like that, it stood out because that subject is usually avoided- which makes it fresh and original.I like how you have a victorious theme but your character is admitting to imperfection which makes the song relatable. You also build/progress your storyline which is essential to make it interesting to your listener. They want the main character to overcome. It may be interesting if you gave us a hint of who left you- its a bit vague. Was it a lover or a parent figure that left you with anger? This may give a bit of spice and clarity. Reveal the drama- give us some insight into this character who is wailing at the fates. There is a lot of drama you can milk here. It can be subtle though too. And can be done pretty easily -with not a huge need to change things up.Can't help but wonder if you added another line/rhyme to your hook -it might make it - stronger. I'm Still here... after all these years. I'm still here, through the tears.. I'm still here... you get the idea... but (enlighten us a bit more on the meaning). Is the singer mad she's left all alone?One of the best things is the passion, the emotion, the haunting, mysterious vibe you conjure up here. The piano is really beautiful as your melody soars along. You got a good handle on melody as the song ebbs and flows and builds like it should with the arrangements.The vocal effectively portrays the emotion- but because it's so powerful you might want to make the vocal mix a tad more soft- as it's delivering a very strong emotional feel and content- so you don't want it too harsh. It's an easy technical fix- to somehow mix the vocal so it has a smoother finesse to it. If that makes any sense. It kind of stands out on its own a bit and I think could use a little more bedding around it -so it feels more part of the overall delivery.Really pretty vocal interlude!! Great bridge.. Arrangements work really nicely. You have a great handle on this which isn't an everyday thing. Good work.Polish this little gem a bit and you got yourself a very good song. Great work.
Quote From Pro: The beautiful piano soars around this haunting piece about love and loss.