Little Bird by Randall Mark

Broadjam Artist: Randall MarkSong: Little BirdBroadjam Pro Reviewer: Doug Diamond (Music Supervisor, Engineer, Producer, Composer )Pro General Comments: Hi Randall -Good to hear from you again. “Little Bird” is to me, a very traditional-sounding Folk s…

Randall Mark

Broadjam Artist: Randall Mark
Song: Little Bird

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Doug Diamond (Music Supervisor, Engineer, Producer, Composer )

Pro General Comments: Hi Randall -Good to hear from you again. "Little Bird" is to me, a very traditional-sounding Folk song that sounds like it has firm roots in the 1960's. Original / unique concept for a song idea, and the lyrics seem to fit the idea of what you're trying to convey in the title. It almost has a period-sound to it as well that might pass for a '60s Folk song being performed on-screen in the exact, right sync situation (of course finding that would be difficult). I think that one of the places where this song shines is the instrumental track bed. I would certainly have an instrumental mix available of this song so that you can pitch that to TV/Film given the right circumstances. Think something like what "Forest Gump" did with '60s music, used all the way through it.I like the meter on this one and it seems to not be "drifty" like one other song I heard previously, so kudos there. Maybe the electric keys in this song helps to lock that in better. I really like the string arrangement. It works well within the song, I think. I like the acoustic guitar too, both its tone and what it's playing. Good song structure and it builds nicely from the beginning's sparse sound, to later on with more things being introduced. Nice arrangement overall. Good work.Now, what to work on... the main thing I'm hearing is that I don't feel like the vocals are strong enough. I feel like they're just a little strained at times, not quite reaching the note here or there (just in places). I'd consider having a studio vocalist sing this one. One thing I do like is that when you're singing in Verse 3 where you're almost talking - I like that. I think that adds an unexpected element to the vocal in a nice way. It makes me wonder what the whole song would sound like if read as a poem... ?? Hmm. Just an idea. I do feel like the vocals need a little more work though, not just pitch-correction issues, but the performance in general. The singer seems a little unsure of himself somehow. And I'd like to hear more emotion versus just the story being told, if that makes sense. I need to be able to feel what the singer's feeling and I don't right now as it currently sits. Lyrically, in a few places, I feel like some minor changes might need to occur. There are a couple spots where the lyric seems a little trite or too "noob songwriter". Does that make sense? A place or two where some polishing up and tweaking of the words might make it that much better. This line seems too wordy to me for instance: "destined to fall deep into the abyss below". Maybe something like this instead: "destined to fall, 'to the abyss below". One other suggestion: "The canary stuck in THE coal mine". Too many "the's" in that line... could be something like this: "like a canary stuck in that coal mine". Just a idea. You might think of something better. A few lyric tweaks like that might be the difference it would take to make it even more appealing to someone doing sync licensing. You don't want to ever sound like a beginning songwriter. Never give folks a reason to say "no". You know?The vocals are the main issue though, so address that and I do think you'll have a winner here for sure. At least it would be something that *could* appeal to the right sync scenario where the period-sounding track fits perfectly with what's happening on-screen and the story of the film, TV show, etc. Have that instrumental ready too.Overall, nice job. Good, solid demo and excellent instrumental performances and arrangements. Work on those few issues perhaps and I think it will be even better than it is.Hope that all makes sense. Let me know if you have any questions.Best,Doug

Quote From Pro: "Little Bird" is a unique blend of 1960's era Folk music, combined with a more modern-sounding musical arrangement that might work really well in a period film, documentary, or in television in the exact, right sync situation.

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