Month: July 2016

Broadjam Artist: Sublimaze69
Song: Liar, Liar, (Pants On Fire)

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Diana Williamson (Songwriter, Music Supervisor)

Pro General Comments: Please note I don't rate individual instrumentation since my expertise lies more in marketability, lyric, melody, and overall performance.Hi Scott:It's always good to take a well worn phrase and use it in a song. This is a good tool for a hook to draw your audience in initially.When building your hook, your main payoff in a song, try to find an accompanying phrase that gives more dimension to your idea and has a strong rhyme. "Liar, liar, pants on fire", - you have a lot of words that could rhyme to play with- higher, desire, etc.. Your hook really needs to have that strong PAYOFF. Also it breaks up the repitition. It gives the song more zest than just repeating the same line.You also really want to have that hook payoff melodically. So build from your verse to the hook so it's something so catchy that a person who hears it once can "whistle it back to you". The old "whistle test" which writers from Tin Pan Alley would use to see if they had a good song. If they played it 2 to 3 times to a someone and that person could whistle it back- they knew they had something catchy. You want to incorporate this every time into your songs. The style you are going seems to work with the subject matter. It's dark and mysterious. Grungy guitars and layered vocals. Really like your reverbed vocals. Your lead vocal feels a bit buried in this particular mix. Try to find a fresh way of making the song stand out. Why not for eg- have some fun and have a female vocalist sing one of the verses- maybe she's reacting to the lead vocalist. Mix things up a bit to make things as interesting as much as possible. Maybe add some dark strings to bring up the arrangement a notch?In the marketplace it's the most inventive that gets heard out there, unless you're an already established artist like "Adelle" who just has to write a simple song Hello- and everyone falls apart. It's the melody in that song that makes it undeniable.Study some hits that are in your vein to see what tricks they use. The Foo Fighters (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBjQ9tuuTJQ) for eg may be an interesting one- it really came in with a bang on to the airwaves. It also talks about lying in an interesting way- "Pretender". You might want to try and be a little more specific in your lyrics. Mysterious is good but vague only gets confusing. Also try and keep your lines "everyday speech" something someone would actually say. This lends credibility and allows people to understand what you are really trying to say. If they don't they will lose interest."And pain you "lace" inside- is not a phrase someone would say- lace doesn't really make sense. Try to make your words flow smoothly so they don't attract attention because they don't make sense. "So many stories told?Information thats better, to with hold" This feels a bit like a "forced rhyme", something you tried too hard to make to fit. "You just don't see me seein' through what you see". This phrase also feels a bit awkward. A person wouldn't say this in real life. Keep it conversational and it will work better.Give us a beginning middle and end in a song. Who is this person to the singer, a lover, a friend? We want to know how the singer feels about this person- draw us into your story if you want us to care. For eg, an "end" to the story might be the singer walking away or the singer saying I'll be there for you when you decide to change. Have some kind of resolution and the song will feel more complete.

Quote From Pro: Good, aggressive rock vibe.

Broadjam Artist: Shirley Goines
Song: Beautiful Hurricane

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Doug Diamond (Music Supervisor, Engineer, Producer, Composer )

Pro General Comments: Hi Shirley -First of all, my apologies for the tardiness of finalizing this Pro Review for you. Ordinarily, I'm very punctual and get things finished on time, however about the time I would've ordinarily completed your review, I was in a major, near-fatal car accident which left me in the hospital for a few weeks and then in recovery / healing mode every since then - which has slowed me down considerably (temporarily). So, it's been because of this issue that I was late getting your review finished. I'm on the mend now though my apologies again.Thanks so much for bringing this song to my attention. I've enjoyed listening to it! This is like the James Bond theme that never was! (I love James Bond themes by the way).Overall, I really like your song, the production and nearly everything about it. The vocal is nice and works well with it and the mix was done well too so that things sit where they should between left and right and overall volumes of individual parts. I don't really have too many suggestions for you from the standpoint of production technique or the recording as that is all pretty solid. Depending on what you want to do with the song (pitch it as-is or try to get an artist interested in re-recording it in their style) would dictate what needs to happen with the lead vocal in my opinion. If you're going to pitch it as-is, I think the current vocal works fine, with perhaps a few lyric tweaks like you mentioned below. If you're thinking of having another artist record this song, sometimes it pays to have a demo singer that's closer to the artist style you're pitching to, so you might want to keep that in mind because you want the artist to identify with it being "their style" right away and not make them guess whether it would work for them or not.

Quote From Pro: "Beautiful Hurricane" is the James Bond theme that never was! It's an excellent, emotional song that has much to offer that perfectly-matched spot in a Film or TV show.

Broadjam Artist: Jaeme Worelds
Song: Whispered

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Roy Hamilton (Songwriter and Producer)

Pro General Comments: I want to first say congratulations on creating such an amazing song and getting it to completion! It definitely has a Top 40 feeling to it, someone like Kelly Clarkson, Demi Levato or Katy Perry (Among other artists) would love and sing a song like this. The opening line is great and the story flows nicely. If I could say one thing as a constructive critique, maybe there could be a little more space in between the chorus and 2nd verse and then another short 1 bar break before the song ends, Just to add a little room. I love the musical hooks that are happening with the guitar and the way the synths work together with the overall melody.

Quote From Pro: Jaeme Worelds has a bright future as a singer/songwriter! I want to first say congratulations on creating such an amazing song and getting it to completion! It definitely has a Top 40 feeling to it, someone like Kelly Clarkson, Demi Levato or Katy Perry (Among other artists) would love and sing a song like this. The opening line is great and the story flows nicely. If I could say one thing as a constructive critique, maybe there could be a little more space in between the chorus and 2nd verse and then another short 1 bar break before the song ends, Just to add a little room. I love the musical hooks that are happening with the guitar and the way the synths work together with the overall melody.

Broadjam Artist: J.J. McGuigan
Song: Home

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Brian Rasner (Music Supervisor)

Pro General Comments: Impressed how fast song drew me in so quickly. The song like the title and subject matter fittingly are straight to the point and not over saturated in a good way as not being too complicated to mask the artistic expression..the nice feeling and sentiments of song wanting to be home, away from the wondering, complications, uncertainty..seeing clearly that Home whether physical or otherwise is where he needs to be.Reminds me of J Mascis solo work but you might know him of Dinosaur Jr. Fame. Vocally have a lot of the same reflections and get into similar territory which is a compliment. Guitar solo too..he's well known for his prowess and lead guitar lines. Memorable and strikes right at the Heart.Sometimes you just want to hear a song that feels good, not too edgy, over run with heaviness and complexity, one that you can nod your head to with instant feeling..this song has accomplished it. I appreciate the fact that its memorable right off the bat with just a couple of listens because it taps into a place we all have been and felt in our lives. Lyrically you did this excellently. The guitar lines lead us there, all the while tugging on our heart strings. Vocally its an emotional roll down your window while driving pondering landscapes or city lights it doesn't matter its universal, and I think that's something everyone can hear and appreciate The only thing I would love to hear is if you added or even replaced the guitar solo with that of a pedal steel or even a slide..To me this would do a lot and the subltly tug a little deeper when your vocals aren't there to guide. Overall great work and I will look forward to hearing more from you J.J.!

Quote From Pro: 'Home' a song that speaks to the universal desire in us all who have lost our way and feel that craving deep down inside of us wanting more, rushing out us as fast as our Hearts can beat, this is you're theme song. Roll down your windows and head for Home

Broadjam Artist: Sublimaze69
Song: We Are Our Race

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Diana Williamson (Songwriter, Music Supervisor)

Pro General Comments: Hi Scott:I like the peppy vibe of your song and the backgrounds are done in an effective manner. Since it's a sample length I'm thinking you may want some advice /opinions before making an entire song of it which is wise so you start off on the right track. So far so good!Now you state your songs are rock/alternative but like merging different styles. This song feels like it could incorporate some reggae elements. The subject matter might lend itself to this so you might want to study some reggae hits and see what kind of arrangements they use and fuse the two. Do some homework and study some of the hits. This can only help you see what is working in the marketplace. For eg UB40's Red Red Wine was a huge hit that merged pop with a reggae feel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzVyTEDnj4g This lyric video shows you how they write and space our their lyrics. It's an old song but it still gets played on radio- of course you may want to study newer ones as well. Ben Harper and Jack Johnston may be some good artists to study. Ben is particularly good at taking a phrase and making it clever but marketable. When writing songs about the human race- this is one of the hardest subjects to tackle- because unfortunately people shie away from hard subjects it seems these days. They turn to music for escape and to distress a lot of the times which is why pop dance is so big. So if you write about a difficult subject which is a good thing to do- the best way most of the time is to do it -is to try and educate them while entertaining them. (A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down). People don't like to be preached to- so you have to do it in a manner which they feel they aren't being preached to.It may have something to do with the pace of the world. In the 60's and 70's- there were more social commentary songs and people were listening. Even Pink Floyd's songs about society and Supertramp had some dark themes but people ate them up. It would be a good use of time to study some of the hits that talk about society and how they did it. It changes in the different eras.With today's marke that is a lot of dance- even country is going pop!! You wanna make things whenever possible a little more subtle or clever. "Now the term we are our race" is a bit vague. You want to come up with a hook or title that is something that if a person looked at a cd of 50 songs- your hook would jump out at them. It doesn't have to be all that clever- either - but it has to strike an emotional chord that they might want to hear about. For eg on the top of the charts right now- is "Stressed Out", "Never Forget You" and "Sorry". They may not be extremely original but they may be something you might want to tune into if you are going through that emotion. Try to tweak that title a bit. For eg "Come Together" by the Beatles is a title that might reflect what you are saying. (titles can be used a million times- they are not copyrightable). Or "We are One Heart" beating, we are one heart feeling, come together now and feel the heat.... Feel the fire. When you're happy, so am I, when you're down, you make me cry cause we're all one heart beating.... That kind of thing.This is the kind of route you could take with the song if you like. Feel free to use the ideas. But that is a way you keep your audience listening but you're not accusing them of wrongdoing. You're making your point in a way that draws people together.Right now it feels like you gave me half of your hook. Try to give us a line that rhymes with your title. Rhymes increase the catchiness and make people remember. Start your song with a short intro, a sparser verse and then build to your hook- where the arrangements go full out. You might want to experiment with some strings in the chorus or a fun loop to make the song as interesting as it can be.Nice idea- good luck!

Quote From Pro: Artist has a soulful vibe.

Broadjam Artist: RandomReality
Song: knock knock

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Doug Diamond (Music Supervisor, Engineer, Producer, Composer )

Pro General Comments: Hi Scooter -Wow, thanks for sending this song to me to review. I think it is really great! I'm a big 80's Rock fan anyway and this song is definitely something I would've been listening to or doing a cover of in my band back in the day.I like *almost* everything about it, from the rockin' chorus to the instrumentation and overall sound it has. My main tweak to this song would really only be to the lyrics. I think the chorus is fine as-is, but I would probably consider rewriting the verses... that's the key to a really great song - rewrite, rewrite, rewrite. I think the verses need some refinement to possibly make it a bit more of a story with a payoff at the end versus a more lustful type of simplistic thing. Those elements are fine, but I think if it was more of a story, it would appeal to a wider audience than it already does. I'm not sure if that makes sense, but I think this song has real potential. You mentioned in your Story Behind the Song that you spent 30-sec. to make the words rhyme, etc. ....well, that part of it does sort of sound that way a little. Don't get me wrong, it's good, but it's not quite "great" yet. Take your time when writing songs. The chorus is GREAT and that's the best starting place to have. Maybe go back and really listen to some of Joan Jett's lyrics or someone else similar they seem really simple, but it's difficult to get them to be that way oftentimes.Excellent melody and performances, recording, etc.From a technical standpoint, I'd think about a remix. I'd bring the drums up in the mix and give them a more front-and-center position. The guitars and vocals and everything else is really fine to me, but the drums are too low in general. Also, have it professionally mastered as that will make a HUGE difference if it's done right.That's it really, otherwise, nice job!

Quote From Pro: "Knock Knock" is the hit song that Joan Jett & the Blackhearts never had! It's an excellent 80's sounding Rock song with great synch potential.

Broadjam Artist: J.J. McGuigan
Song: In All Honesty

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)

Pro General Comments: It's a little slow but the song is well within commercial radio time restraints...you could try a few more beats per minute but again that is subjective and would be subject to the scene narrative...it's a perfect length for a scene in a movie or tv show although it is lyric specific... very cool groove and arrangement...love the chord progression and melodic lines...the chorus works but I would have preferred more of a separation between the end of the verse and the start of the chorus...there wasn't much of a range difference or meter and phrase difference...great instrumental...professionally done...this is very pitchable on its own...the overall concept is common and there are no lyric lines that stand out as being unique...but that doesn't hurt your chances for movie or tv placement...the track sounds broadcast ready...good luck with this...as I said before the instrumental will be just as commercial as the master vocal...

Quote From Pro: Just my two cents but J.J. McGuigan is producing high quality instrumental beds and high quality masters that many music libraries and music placement services will be anxious to sign...

Broadjam Artist: Randall Rutledge
Song: Non Stop Flight

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Randall and Raymond,First, I want to apologize for the length of time it took me to get this review back to you. In my defense, I got back form a medical mission trip to central Guatemala on March 18th, and I myself was sick for a week after we landed. Then the family showed up for a weekend, and that shot everything too. Not an excuse. Just an explanation.Now to the song.Love the groove you have going on here. Top-notch studio musicians.I think the idea of the song is excellent, and very hooky.I think that you could successfully place this song with some production libraries and do some good with it. Just on the strength of the tracks.Everything I say here is only my opinion. All I would try to do is inspire you to greater heights.I believe there is room for a lot of improvement in this song, and I will give you my suggestions.But please keep in mind they are only SUGGESTIONS.There's an old catch phrase among commercial songwriters. It's become an indispensable arrow in the songwriter's quiver. I give it to you as it was given to me long ago. Made me re-write every song I had with it in mind."Less is MORE".Every syllable must count. If you can think of a way to squeeze the number of syllables down, the further down you get it the stronger it becomes.For instance:"We taxi down the runway hand in hand". There is no need to add the words "We taxi". It makes it sound cumbersome, as if you have to hurry the lyric to get them in. And you can drop a few syllables in the second part of the line, and have it look like THIS:"Down the runway, hand in hand, we take off on our own flight plan"...Much easier to sing, much more fluid on the ear.Every line has to SNAP with cleverness and be different than the lines before it and after it."As we take off on the go" is kinda meaningless here. For one thing, you've already used the phrase "take off" in the first line. I'm of the opinion that the only thing that should be allowed to repeat in the whole song is the HOOK. It makes the hook more POWERFUL.You could get crazy and say "Leave our baggage in the hold, turn off air traffic control". (You can use that, free of charge, if you want to.)Every line in this song needs to lose weight to gain power, if you know what I mean.And do your best, whatever you have to do, to make sure you have NO CLICHES in your lyric, unless you are presenting them in a fresh way. These are words or phrases that have been used so many times, they lose their meaning.For instance:"On the go", "Our love is true"."Well around the world many things I've seen but loving you I've earned my wings" is repeated three times, which is okay if it's the chorus, but it doesn't stand out as melodically different from the rest of the song. The most successful song form in the history of the recorded music charts is Verse-Chorus-Verse-Chorus-Bridge Chorus. The chorus, in this form, should be completely different from the verses in melody and lyric. It's usually the only place where the hook is heard.I'm not really sure it matters in this song. It seems to have it's own form.But if that's the case, I would urge you to consider making every verse different, as in NO repetitions. If for no other reason, you are repeating the heck out of "Non-stop Flight, when I'm a-lovin' you", and everything else should be different, IMHO.Also, I would encourage you to try to make the verses a little less cumbersome in places. For instance:"We ignore radio frequency cause we're flying frequently" sounds a little tough to sing, and frequency and frequently are the same words, really. See if you can come up with something to beat that.Remember, you don't HAVE to have EVERY line be an airplane reference.If you give this song a re-write with these ideas in mind, I think you may end up with a stronger, more commercially viable piece of music.And I wish you the best of luck.

Quote From Pro: Randall Rutledge can take you around the world on a NON-STOP FLIGHT. Fun music, good times.

Broadjam Artist: J.J. McGuigan
Song: Home

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)

Pro General Comments: Lyrically this is well written and the message is clear...Home has been and continues to be a popular subject matter for artist/writers and Americana and country artists...Joe Diffie had a huge number 1 country hit with Home...It's a theme a lot of people will relate to...this particular subject matter although not all that radio friendly will be tv , movie and commercial friendly...you drew me in on the downbeat...great sounding band...very commercial and broadcast ready...your vocal was spot on...a 100% improvement in diction, and mix...I could hear every word and you sounded great...the hook was delivered in a strong melody...I really think home is where I wanna be is the title people will remember...This is an A+....the overall length is well within commercial guidelines and to be honest you sound like a 20 year old indie singer songwriter...I know a young singer by the name of Adam Searan here in Nashville and you sound a lot like him on this song...he's a great singer...you really delivered on this and you got your money's worth on the demo/master...pitch pitch pitch...I would offer you a non-exclusive contract on this song but I want you to pitch it and get 100% of any synch license...you are headed down the "write" road my friend...the instrumental to this song will also be a great pitch to movies, tv and commercial leads

Quote From Pro: J.J. McGuigan's music is extremely commercial and easy to listen to...his Americana indie alternative singer songwriter style crosses over to country and in my opinion will resonate with young and old alike...

Broadjam Artist: J.J. McGuigan
Song: Letter

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)

Pro General Comments: There's a lot I like about this song. You chose rock alternative as the genre but this has other influences I can hear as well...Country, Americana folk rock. Your vocal has a little Neil Young mixed in with Bob Dylan and Daughtry. the tempo was a little on the slow side which added to the length of the song. 4:54 is outside the time restraints of commercial radio...my advice is do a radio edit and end it around the 3:45 mark which will greatly improve your chances for radio airplay ...4:54 is fine for a download or cd...increasing the tempo will give it a little more edge and movement in my opinion and help shorten the song. The electric guitar is a little loud in spots but it fits this genre...I love the intro with the string pad ...the vocal has a lot of reverb on it which makes it difficult to understand the words and in this genre the lyric is very important. The lyric I did hear was well written and meaningful. It was introspective and poignant... a lot of people will relate to this... You have a very smooth voice and unique style...your pitch is excellent...you might want to be a little more aggressive on your consonants which will help make the lyric stand out... add a harmony part starting on climb every mountain...verse/pre-chorus/chorus...melodically all three sections were well crafted...the chorus is catchy and memorable and I liked the chord progression and arrangement... songs like this are good pitches to music libraries for use in tv and movie background... make it as broadcast ready as you can...this is a good song and it's worth a little more time and effort to make it a great song...I hope my suggestions and comments are helpful. You are a very talented writer and artist.

Quote From Pro: J.J. McGuigan has both the musical talent and lyrical talent to be a competitive artist/writer in the Alternative Rock world. I would not be surprised to hear one of his songs on Americana radio or in a movie or tv show in the near future.