Broadjam Pro Song Reviews

Broadjam Artist: J.P. Grelet
Song: Takin to Corners

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Brian Rasner (Music Supervisor)

Pro General Comments: Thank you for your submission. Overall I really like what you did there. Your guitar parts and melody really stood out and are excellent, especially the guitar phrasing and leading, teasing into hook and melody. Since there are no vocals I would suggest careful name choices..really let the name stand for your emotion you are capturing. This will help with music supervisor browsing and meta data.It seems to be like you are contemplating, looking ahead, searching, new frontiers etc

Quote From Pro: Introspective Melodies and engaging Guitars that immediately has you pondering your existence and otherwise..I look forward to whats next

Broadjam Artist: Tim Sharp
Song: Jose Cuervo on the way

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Tim,I don't think your "Jose Cuervo" reference is limiting at all. Anybody who's ever had a shot of tequila know what you're talking about.However, there is a big time producer here in Nashville who says if he hears another beach/tequila song, he will throw the CD like a frisbee through the drywall in his office. After "Five 'O Clock Somewhere", and "Some Beach", and many others, Music Row has been inundated with submissions along those lines. And, Tim, I'm talking literally tens of thousands of them. Having said that, I have to refer you to what I said about "I Call Her Fred" re marketability.But this time, you asked me about the writing, and this time, I'm going to address that.First of all, I would suggest you be very wary of saying anything like "everyone loves the song. Many folks tell me it's the favorite one they listen to over and over".There is only one person that it matters whether or not the song effects them in a positive way. I call him TCL, which stands for "The Casual Listener".You have never met this person. He/she has no idea who you are. The only contact they have with you is the 3 minutes they give you to listen to your song. They are predisposed NOT to like it, because they hear a lot of other music, and they already think they know what they like.If you can turn THEIR heads, you've got something.It's very easy to allow yourself to be seduced by the compliments to your stuff that your friends, family, and everybody who you are face-to-face with is going to lay on you. Each one may be worth 99 cents.But if you can get TCL to like your song, be he a publisher, a producer, a music supervisor, what-have-you, THAT can put a significant piece of change in your pocket while it also puts you on a worldwide musical map.When I hear someone say, "Everybody loves this song", I cringe. I don't give a rat's patootie what "everybody" loves. I have heard some of the most horrible crap played for me after that little line has been uttered. Just sayin'.In this song, I have to say that it shows talent way above the usual tripe I have to listen to as part of what I do. You have potential to write a million dollar song, no question. But there are some tools, RULES, if you will, that I might suggest you consider.For instance:You DO use imagery, and you use it well. Your lyric puts me in the spot I want to be, because you SHOW me pictures of it instead of telling me. This is excellent work. You would be amazed at how many people do NOT get this. That one is already in your toolbox, which puts you way ahead.But then you go and stick your hook in the last line of your VERSE.This really takes the punch out of the hook. The only spot it should be in, in this song particularly, is in the CHORUS. You have it there, but it's already lost its steam because of its appearance as the last phrase of the verse.(Continued in "Question" section)

Quote From Pro: Tim Sharp is ON KEY!

Broadjam Artist: Tim Sharp
Song: Jose Cuervo on the way

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Tim,I don't think your "Jose Cuervo" reference is limiting at all. Anybody who's ever had a shot of tequila know what you're talking about.However, there is a big time producer here in Nashville who says if he hears another beach/tequila song, he will throw the CD like a frisbee through the drywall in his office. After "Five 'O Clock Somewhere", and "Some Beach", and many others, Music Row has been inundated with submissions along those lines. And, Tim, I'm talking literally tens of thousands of them. Having said that, I have to refer you to what I said about "I Call Her Fred" re marketability.But this time, you asked me about the writing, and this time, I'm going to address that.First of all, I would suggest you be very wary of saying anything like "everyone loves the song. Many folks tell me it's the favorite one they listen to over and over".There is only one person that it matters whether or not the song effects them in a positive way. I call him TCL, which stands for "The Casual Listener".You have never met this person. He/she has no idea who you are. The only contact they have with you is the 3 minutes they give you to listen to your song. They are predisposed NOT to like it, because they hear a lot of other music, and they already think they know what they like.If you can turn THEIR heads, you've got something.It's very easy to allow yourself to be seduced by the compliments to your stuff that your friends, family, and everybody who you are face-to-face with is going to lay on you. Each one may be worth 99 cents.But if you can get TCL to like your song, be he a publisher, a producer, a music supervisor, what-have-you, THAT can put a significant piece of change in your pocket while it also puts you on a worldwide musical map.When I hear someone say, "Everybody loves this song", I cringe. I don't give a rat's patootie what "everybody" loves. I have heard some of the most horrible crap played for me after that little line has been uttered. Just sayin'.In this song, I have to say that it shows talent way above the usual tripe I have to listen to as part of what I do. You have potential to write a million dollar song, no question. But there are some tools, RULES, if you will, that I might suggest you consider.For instance:You DO use imagery, and you use it well. Your lyric puts me in the spot I want to be, because you SHOW me pictures of it instead of telling me. This is excellent work. You would be amazed at how many people do NOT get this. That one is already in your toolbox, which puts you way ahead.But then you go and stick your hook in the last line of your VERSE.This really takes the punch out of the hook. The only spot it should be in, in this song particularly, is in the CHORUS. You have it there, but it's already lost its steam because of its appearance as the last phrase of the verse.(Continued in "Question" section)

Quote From Pro: Tim Sharp is ON KEY!

Broadjam Artist: Tim Sharp
Song: I Call Her Fred

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: This is good work. My only objection, and in this case it's small, is that I can't in good conscience give you a critique on your writing. The reason is that you have already gotten this thing produced, and if I said that, for instance, you needed to rethink your arrangement, it's too late. It's already produced, and you're not going to change that.I recommend to all my kids that they send me a guitar/voice demo that is a work tape. Then I can tear apart what they have, and show them tips how to make it more commercially viable.But this song, to coin a phrase, is what it is. And that really ain't too bad, my friend.

Quote From Pro: Tim's music will bring a toothy smile to your lovely face!

Broadjam Artist: Tim Sharp
Song: I Call Her Fred

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: This is good work. My only objection, and in this case it's small, is that I can't in good conscience give you a critique on your writing. The reason is that you have already gotten this thing produced, and if I said that, for instance, you needed to rethink your arrangement, it's too late. It's already produced, and you're not going to change that.I recommend to all my kids that they send me a guitar/voice demo that is a work tape. Then I can tear apart what they have, and show them tips how to make it more commercially viable.But this song, to coin a phrase, is what it is. And that really ain't too bad, my friend.

Quote From Pro: Tim's music will bring a toothy smile to your lovely face!

Broadjam Artist: J.J. McGuigan
Song: Forces I Cannot See

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)

Pro General Comments: This is a strong song for you to promote on yourself as the artist...it's a deep introspective personal look into your psyche...very strong intro...great guitar and percussion sounds and technique...i love the chorus...very catchy and memorable...I could still hear it playing in my mind long after the song was over and that's a good sign...the chord progression is good...the minor chords support the lyric...the military cadence of the snare drum really made the track interesting. the instrumental will make a good pitch for movies and television background...the overall length is within commercial time restraints

Quote From Pro: J.J. McGuigan is a soulful Alternative rock artist with the capabilities to pull an audience into his lyrics and music and hold their attention till the end of the song.

Broadjam Artist: J.J. McGuigan
Song: Forces I Cannot See

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)

Pro General Comments: This is a strong song for you to promote on yourself as the artist...it's a deep introspective personal look into your psyche...very strong intro...great guitar and percussion sounds and technique...i love the chorus...very catchy and memorable...I could still hear it playing in my mind long after the song was over and that's a good sign...the chord progression is good...the minor chords support the lyric...the military cadence of the snare drum really made the track interesting. the instrumental will make a good pitch for movies and television background...the overall length is within commercial time restraints

Quote From Pro: J.J. McGuigan is a soulful Alternative rock artist with the capabilities to pull an audience into his lyrics and music and hold their attention till the end of the song.

Broadjam Artist: J.J. McGuigan
Song: Desperate Eyes

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)

Pro General Comments: J.J. I was unable to hear the lyrics...The bass, percussion, guitar and sound effects drowned out your vocal and without a lyric sheet i was unable to make out what you were saying...I want to hear this again so please after you do a re-mix and bring up the vocal and lower the instruments to a level where i can hear every word send it to me at my3kidsmusic@comcast.net and i'll do another evaluation for free...What I did hear sounded dark and alternative which i think is what you intended. Your musicianship is not in question. Instrumentally the track was very good...very professional...The mix was sub par especially if you pitch this to a music supervisor for a lyric specific spot in a movie or television show...in this instance the lyrics are very important and need to be heard

Quote From Pro: J.J. McGuigan is proving that he has the capabilities to write competitive music in any genre. He is not afraid to dare to be different and break the rules.

Broadjam Artist: J.J. McGuigan
Song: Desperate Eyes

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)

Pro General Comments: J.J. I was unable to hear the lyrics...The bass, percussion, guitar and sound effects drowned out your vocal and without a lyric sheet i was unable to make out what you were saying...I want to hear this again so please after you do a re-mix and bring up the vocal and lower the instruments to a level where i can hear every word send it to me at my3kidsmusic@comcast.net and i'll do another evaluation for free...What I did hear sounded dark and alternative which i think is what you intended. Your musicianship is not in question. Instrumentally the track was very good...very professional...The mix was sub par especially if you pitch this to a music supervisor for a lyric specific spot in a movie or television show...in this instance the lyrics are very important and need to be heard

Quote From Pro: J.J. McGuigan is proving that he has the capabilities to write competitive music in any genre. He is not afraid to dare to be different and break the rules.

Broadjam Artist: amy abernathy
Song: I wish you Love

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Michael Marans (Music Technologist)

Pro General Comments: I Wish You Love has great potential. The message is uplifting, the lyrics thoughtful, and the vocal performance is sweet, strong, and sincere. Unfortunately, the very traditional instrumentation and arrangement drag the song down, giving the track a dated, unoriginal flavor---one that's truly not deserved. I'd suggest recutting the track with an entirely new instrumental approach, one that gives each section of the song a chance to grow and flourish and offer some level of unpredictability and surprise. (Several of the later-appearing chord changes do just that...take you to a place other than the one you were expecting.) Things to try might include a piano-only intro and first verse, and instrumentation that's not so familiar, such as a fretless bass and a synth accompanied by hand percussion (or whatever). You might even want to revisit the overall feel and tempo entirely, just to take the song out of it's current '80s R&B vibe. The point is to take the song somewhere else sonically, so that the listener hears something fresh and new. You've got a strong message and delivery. Now you need the instrumental arrangement support to bring the song home. With that in place, your lower and middle scores would all increase accordingly, and you'd have a solid track to showcase your vocals. If you're set on the traditional sound and feel, I'd recommend listening to some of the early Wynonna records (Wynonna, Tell Me Why) for inspiration. Last critique: You vocal sounds generally effortless (a good thing), but in a few places, the phrasing is a little bit unnatural, one example being "I hope you never lose your love and Inspiration, That you get the passion that you are craving," (2nd time) where it seems as though you might be trying to fit all of the words in, instead of just letting them flow naturally. Experimentation with some alternative phrasing could yield worthwhile results. And don't be afraid to hold back on your vocal in the beginning and belt it out at the end. Dynamics capture the listener...you've got 'em, use 'em!

Quote From Pro: The message is uplifting, the lyrics thoughtful, and the vocal performance is sweet, strong, and sincere.