Broadjam Pro Song Reviews

Broadjam Artist: Sergio Simone
Song: One More River to Cross

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Diana Williamson (Songwriter, Music Supervisor)

Pro General Comments: Please note I don't rate individual instrumentation since my expertise lies more in marketability, lyric, melody, and overall performance.I love murder ballads. Very solid song. It holds your interest. Hook stands out like it should. You have a good scope in your songwriting. The lyric is very solid. Melody works and arrangements enhance. Vocal tells the story well in a believable manner. So therefore what I say is just ways of making your song better- however you could possibly get it cut the way it is.Woman "spits on the evil man"- great visual. And so is "I called him out with the sun at my back ?He pushed his way through the door.?With a star on his chest and all dressed in black? He looked ready to fight this war." You really take the listener into your story with this type of description. Very good, you can just feel the darkness and struggle about to happen.Song has a good story- a western Count of Monte Cristo. In this day and age a woman would rarely stay with a devil for that long- so you might have wanted to put a little detail in there to add to it (for eg he says he'll get the man killed in jail if she leaves), etc.. My instinct says it sounds like a demo- not exactly something you would put in film and tv- but something worth pitching to an artist. I could also hear this song being really cool in a dark Americana vibe- this version has an almost friendly easy going feel. If you had some young buck with a twang in his voice beating his heart out with a darker edgy feel you could really make an impact of it. (banjos and steel guitar and female bg vocals) However that's not necessary but would be cool in a perfect world where we have unlimited $ for demos.Singer has a nice vocal timbre. Pronunciation sometimes gets lost which is very important in a story song so we can follow. I'd make that marshall "pay" the word pay kinda dissolves- when it should be yelled out with anger type of feel. Just something to watch out for.You got the hard stuff down- when your hook comes in- we want to sing along- good work.The guitar solo sounds a little easy going- which fits with the general mood but I was expecting something a little more blood thirsty- there is tons of blood, guts and vengeance going on here. Harmonica adds a great feel.Some bg vocals on the chorus- some cool female vocals might help build the hook up just a little more to help it over the top. Just to change up the dynamic a bit.You could have an outro which says something like-eg- the riverbed has a nice NEW field of daisies (subtley refer to the fact the lawman went missing- and they can live happily ever after) So your audience can rest with the knowledge it's a happily ever after.If you ever do re demo you may want to shorten intro and take out a few double choruses, maybe even the guitar solo to make song a bit shorter. Nowadays it seems songs really move along quickly when you are pitching. However as I said its very solid and worthy of pitching. An artist you want to cut that song should be able to hear how to make things a little snappier.You have a great feel for songwriting. Good luck and keep on writing!

Quote From Pro: Sergio you have solid songwriting instincts and good storytelling abilities. You bring the listener right into your story waiting for the climax.

Broadjam Artist: RandomReality
Song: knock knock

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Doug Diamond (Music Supervisor, Engineer, Producer, Composer )

Pro General Comments: Hi Scooter -Wow, thanks for sending this song to me to review. I think it is really great! I'm a big 80's Rock fan anyway and this song is definitely something I would've been listening to or doing a cover of in my band back in the day.I like *almost* everything about it, from the rockin' chorus to the instrumentation and overall sound it has. My main tweak to this song would really only be to the lyrics. I think the chorus is fine as-is, but I would probably consider rewriting the verses... that's the key to a really great song - rewrite, rewrite, rewrite. I think the verses need some refinement to possibly make it a bit more of a story with a payoff at the end versus a more lustful type of simplistic thing. Those elements are fine, but I think if it was more of a story, it would appeal to a wider audience than it already does. I'm not sure if that makes sense, but I think this song has real potential. You mentioned in your Story Behind the Song that you spent 30-sec. to make the words rhyme, etc. ....well, that part of it does sort of sound that way a little. Don't get me wrong, it's good, but it's not quite "great" yet. Take your time when writing songs. The chorus is GREAT and that's the best starting place to have. Maybe go back and really listen to some of Joan Jett's lyrics or someone else similar they seem really simple, but it's difficult to get them to be that way oftentimes.Excellent melody and performances, recording, etc.From a technical standpoint, I'd think about a remix. I'd bring the drums up in the mix and give them a more front-and-center position. The guitars and vocals and everything else is really fine to me, but the drums are too low in general. Also, have it professionally mastered as that will make a HUGE difference if it's done right.That's it really, otherwise, nice job!

Quote From Pro: "Knock Knock" is the hit song that Joan Jett & the Blackhearts never had! It's an excellent 80's sounding Rock song with great synch potential.

Broadjam Artist: Flava Hype
Song: I'm Lethal

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Serge Durand (A&R/Publisher/Manager)

Pro General Comments: I think this is a good hip hop record. The hip hop purists appreciate songs like this. We're in a time now where rappers aren't rapping about anything with substance. Songs like this have a fan base because there are thousands of fans out there that feel like what you're rapping about. I like your raps on this song. I appreciated your word play. I also enjoyed the female rapper. She killed it. I would shoot a video to this song making fun of the rappers promoting the flashy/baller lifestyle and promote it to multiple hip hop blogs like Allhiphop, Hiphopdx, 2dopeboyz, etc... Just make sure that your vid is quality. Videos don't cost as much as they used to, but they still cost. You can get a decent video shot for $2500-5000 using a good camera nowadays. I think you have potential and a lane. Judging front the songs that I've heard from you is that you have a message. You're anti-gimmicks. That's a good thing, but it's a long road. The gimmicky guys come and go, but they catch fast. The route you're taking takes a while longer, but if you break you're fans will be loyal like J. Cole/Kendrick's fan base. Stick to your guns. Keep creating music with a message and promote your music as much as you can. Also put together a good team around you. You can't do it all by yourself.

Quote From Pro: Flava Hype has something to say and I think hip hop fans out there want to hear the message that he preaches in his music.

Broadjam Artist: Randall Rutledge
Song: Non Stop Flight

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Randall and Raymond,First, I want to apologize for the length of time it took me to get this review back to you. In my defense, I got back form a medical mission trip to central Guatemala on March 18th, and I myself was sick for a week after we landed. Then the family showed up for a weekend, and that shot everything too. Not an excuse. Just an explanation.Now to the song.Love the groove you have going on here. Top-notch studio musicians.I think the idea of the song is excellent, and very hooky.I think that you could successfully place this song with some production libraries and do some good with it. Just on the strength of the tracks.Everything I say here is only my opinion. All I would try to do is inspire you to greater heights.I believe there is room for a lot of improvement in this song, and I will give you my suggestions.But please keep in mind they are only SUGGESTIONS.There's an old catch phrase among commercial songwriters. It's become an indispensable arrow in the songwriter's quiver. I give it to you as it was given to me long ago. Made me re-write every song I had with it in mind."Less is MORE".Every syllable must count. If you can think of a way to squeeze the number of syllables down, the further down you get it the stronger it becomes.For instance:"We taxi down the runway hand in hand". There is no need to add the words "We taxi". It makes it sound cumbersome, as if you have to hurry the lyric to get them in. And you can drop a few syllables in the second part of the line, and have it look like THIS:"Down the runway, hand in hand, we take off on our own flight plan"...Much easier to sing, much more fluid on the ear.Every line has to SNAP with cleverness and be different than the lines before it and after it."As we take off on the go" is kinda meaningless here. For one thing, you've already used the phrase "take off" in the first line. I'm of the opinion that the only thing that should be allowed to repeat in the whole song is the HOOK. It makes the hook more POWERFUL.You could get crazy and say "Leave our baggage in the hold, turn off air traffic control". (You can use that, free of charge, if you want to.)Every line in this song needs to lose weight to gain power, if you know what I mean.And do your best, whatever you have to do, to make sure you have NO CLICHES in your lyric, unless you are presenting them in a fresh way. These are words or phrases that have been used so many times, they lose their meaning.For instance:"On the go", "Our love is true"."Well around the world many things I've seen but loving you I've earned my wings" is repeated three times, which is okay if it's the chorus, but it doesn't stand out as melodically different from the rest of the song. The most successful song form in the history of the recorded music charts is Verse-Chorus-Verse-Chorus-Bridge Chorus. The chorus, in this form, should be completely different from the verses in melody and lyric. It's usually the only place where the hook is heard.I'm not really sure it matters in this song. It seems to have it's own form.But if that's the case, I would urge you to consider making every verse different, as in NO repetitions. If for no other reason, you are repeating the heck out of "Non-stop Flight, when I'm a-lovin' you", and everything else should be different, IMHO.Also, I would encourage you to try to make the verses a little less cumbersome in places. For instance:"We ignore radio frequency cause we're flying frequently" sounds a little tough to sing, and frequency and frequently are the same words, really. See if you can come up with something to beat that.Remember, you don't HAVE to have EVERY line be an airplane reference.If you give this song a re-write with these ideas in mind, I think you may end up with a stronger, more commercially viable piece of music.And I wish you the best of luck.

Quote From Pro: Randall Rutledge can take you around the world on a NON-STOP FLIGHT. Fun music, good times.

Broadjam Artist: Tom & Mary Erangey
Song: Blue Umbrella

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Jonathan Weiss (Music Supervisor, A&R)

Pro General Comments: Great chorus in this song. The chorus, lead and background vocals remind me of something that Carole King would've have sung back in her hey day. I felt the verses let me down a bit after lyrically, melodically and rhythmically after hearing such a strong chorus, each time it went back to the verses. The chorus seems to be in sort of a cut time, or doubled rhythm, whereas the verses do not have that same sort of forward movement. I think in this case, the verses need to be as strong as the chorus, and in this piece, in my opinion, it's not. Lyrically, it's a lighthearted song about being with someone you care about while its raining. Think we've all been there at one time and this is a great representation of what an experience like this might be like. Solid lead vocals do a good job of expressing the joy of this experience. The background vocal arrangements are also quite strong and harmonically work perfectly.

Quote From Pro: Strong chorus in this song that would evoke visual images from the listener. Creative and solid background vocal arrangements in the chorus, make this a very catchy song that would work well behind visuals in an advertisement.

Broadjam Artist: J.J. McGuigan
Song: Home

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Brian Rasner (Music Supervisor)

Pro General Comments: Impressed how fast song drew me in so quickly. The song like the title and subject matter fittingly are straight to the point and not over saturated in a good way as not being too complicated to mask the artistic expression..the nice feeling and sentiments of song wanting to be home, away from the wondering, complications, uncertainty..seeing clearly that Home whether physical or otherwise is where he needs to be.Reminds me of J Mascis solo work but you might know him of Dinosaur Jr. Fame. Vocally have a lot of the same reflections and get into similar territory which is a compliment. Guitar solo too..he's well known for his prowess and lead guitar lines. Memorable and strikes right at the Heart.Sometimes you just want to hear a song that feels good, not too edgy, over run with heaviness and complexity, one that you can nod your head to with instant feeling..this song has accomplished it. I appreciate the fact that its memorable right off the bat with just a couple of listens because it taps into a place we all have been and felt in our lives. Lyrically you did this excellently. The guitar lines lead us there, all the while tugging on our heart strings. Vocally its an emotional roll down your window while driving pondering landscapes or city lights it doesn't matter its universal, and I think that's something everyone can hear and appreciate The only thing I would love to hear is if you added or even replaced the guitar solo with that of a pedal steel or even a slide..To me this would do a lot and the subltly tug a little deeper when your vocals aren't there to guide. Overall great work and I will look forward to hearing more from you J.J.!

Quote From Pro: 'Home' a song that speaks to the universal desire in us all who have lost our way and feel that craving deep down inside of us wanting more, rushing out us as fast as our Hearts can beat, this is you're theme song. Roll down your windows and head for Home

Broadjam Artist: matt taylor
Song: I Can't Help It

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Jim Bruno (Songwriter)

Pro General Comments: Hi Mike,Another strong song and this one is really different from your previous one but both were well crafted and performed. I categorized the song as R&B mainly for its influences and not for the marketplace.Your vocals and the treatment sounded to my ears a bit like David Bromberg, who's one of my favorites. There's a sincerity that I mentioned in my review of your previous song that I'm hearing hear as well. The recording is very tastefully done. The main thing I liked about it was your restraint. In this era of Pro Tools too many songwriters/ artists feel that since they have endless tracks that they need to fill them up. Don't they realize that music isn't spackle? You didn't make that mistake. I like how every instrument and vocal are clear and discernable. That bridge worked well too. Came at just the right time. The harmonies were absolutely on the money. I always liked the way they were mixed. Too often harmonies are considered background vocals and not mixed hot enough. Regards,Jim

Quote From Pro: Matt Taylor writes songs that stick to your ribs. They have very deep roots and definitely stay with you. He's on the way up!

Broadjam Artist: Jaeme Worelds
Song: Whispered

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Roy Hamilton (Songwriter and Producer)

Pro General Comments: I want to first say congratulations on creating such an amazing song and getting it to completion! It definitely has a Top 40 feeling to it, someone like Kelly Clarkson, Demi Levato or Katy Perry (Among other artists) would love and sing a song like this. The opening line is great and the story flows nicely. If I could say one thing as a constructive critique, maybe there could be a little more space in between the chorus and 2nd verse and then another short 1 bar break before the song ends, Just to add a little room. I love the musical hooks that are happening with the guitar and the way the synths work together with the overall melody.

Quote From Pro: Jaeme Worelds has a bright future as a singer/songwriter! I want to first say congratulations on creating such an amazing song and getting it to completion! It definitely has a Top 40 feeling to it, someone like Kelly Clarkson, Demi Levato or Katy Perry (Among other artists) would love and sing a song like this. The opening line is great and the story flows nicely. If I could say one thing as a constructive critique, maybe there could be a little more space in between the chorus and 2nd verse and then another short 1 bar break before the song ends, Just to add a little room. I love the musical hooks that are happening with the guitar and the way the synths work together with the overall melody.

Broadjam Artist: matt taylor
Song: I Can't Help It

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Can't Help It - Matt Taylor 062815When a song critique artist (and it IS an art) runs into someone on your (rare) level, the line between critique and co-write is stretched thin. I DO have suggestions to make, but only as examples.I love the groove. Comfortable and relaxing 1-4. It helps when you have Nashville level monster sidemen, too. Bass player flat out blows the walls down in your video. Killer dobro man. Hey, ALL these guys should have been expensive. Sweet, sweet licks.Your unique and very good vocal styles are outstanding, as usual. On key backup singers. Costly. Very cool, though.Now, down to business.If you go to BMI.com and do a "repertoire" search for that title ("Can't Help It"), you will see there are already 59 songs with identical title that are published and registered at BMI. Some of them are already cut, some are vanity cuts, but the point is that there are a LOT of them. You, having decided that's your HOOK, have to out write them all to get attention. I'm not saying that's by any means impossible, especially not for YOU.But it doesn't matter how hot your backup is (and all those guys are hot!), you have to have something that INVOLVES the casual listener. That HAS to be the song, lyric and all. But you are going to have to have EVERY LINE SPARKLE, in some way. It has to perk up the ears of even the most jaded listener. The lyric of the hook, "Can't Help It", has not been a huge hit for the other 59 versions of the title, so it probably has to come from the rest of the lyric.If it doesn't tell me a story, paint me a picture, or hit my funny bone, find something better."My credit cards have gone into shock, but I love you, I can't help itThe last time you left I almost changed the locks, but I love you, Can't help it,"Just a suggestion/example..."Hard to believe the way I'm feeling now" should probably be the template for the couplets you need to write to replace it. You might want to try brainstorming couplets like that. Sit there for five minutes, or a half an hour with a blank piece of paper and come up with every one of those couplets you can think of, whether they're ridiculous or not. Write them down. Don't quit till you've got 20 of them. Don't edit yourself, just write what comes into your head. There you will find the gems. You need about five really great ones. That's where the meat of the groove is.But they have to be WAY better than what is here right now."I want to up and leave but I don't see how..." C'mon, man. I can tell when a line has the "I Need To Fill Something In Here" feel from a MILE AWAY, and so can your average listener.(Continued in the Artist's Submitted Question box)

Quote From Pro: Matt Taylor is the real deal.

Broadjam Artist: Sublimaze69
Song: We Are Our Race

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Diana Williamson (Songwriter, Music Supervisor)

Pro General Comments: Hi Scott:I like the peppy vibe of your song and the backgrounds are done in an effective manner. Since it's a sample length I'm thinking you may want some advice /opinions before making an entire song of it which is wise so you start off on the right track. So far so good!Now you state your songs are rock/alternative but like merging different styles. This song feels like it could incorporate some reggae elements. The subject matter might lend itself to this so you might want to study some reggae hits and see what kind of arrangements they use and fuse the two. Do some homework and study some of the hits. This can only help you see what is working in the marketplace. For eg UB40's Red Red Wine was a huge hit that merged pop with a reggae feel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzVyTEDnj4g This lyric video shows you how they write and space our their lyrics. It's an old song but it still gets played on radio- of course you may want to study newer ones as well. Ben Harper and Jack Johnston may be some good artists to study. Ben is particularly good at taking a phrase and making it clever but marketable. When writing songs about the human race- this is one of the hardest subjects to tackle- because unfortunately people shie away from hard subjects it seems these days. They turn to music for escape and to distress a lot of the times which is why pop dance is so big. So if you write about a difficult subject which is a good thing to do- the best way most of the time is to do it -is to try and educate them while entertaining them. (A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down). People don't like to be preached to- so you have to do it in a manner which they feel they aren't being preached to.It may have something to do with the pace of the world. In the 60's and 70's- there were more social commentary songs and people were listening. Even Pink Floyd's songs about society and Supertramp had some dark themes but people ate them up. It would be a good use of time to study some of the hits that talk about society and how they did it. It changes in the different eras.With today's marke that is a lot of dance- even country is going pop!! You wanna make things whenever possible a little more subtle or clever. "Now the term we are our race" is a bit vague. You want to come up with a hook or title that is something that if a person looked at a cd of 50 songs- your hook would jump out at them. It doesn't have to be all that clever- either - but it has to strike an emotional chord that they might want to hear about. For eg on the top of the charts right now- is "Stressed Out", "Never Forget You" and "Sorry". They may not be extremely original but they may be something you might want to tune into if you are going through that emotion. Try to tweak that title a bit. For eg "Come Together" by the Beatles is a title that might reflect what you are saying. (titles can be used a million times- they are not copyrightable). Or "We are One Heart" beating, we are one heart feeling, come together now and feel the heat.... Feel the fire. When you're happy, so am I, when you're down, you make me cry cause we're all one heart beating.... That kind of thing.This is the kind of route you could take with the song if you like. Feel free to use the ideas. But that is a way you keep your audience listening but you're not accusing them of wrongdoing. You're making your point in a way that draws people together.Right now it feels like you gave me half of your hook. Try to give us a line that rhymes with your title. Rhymes increase the catchiness and make people remember. Start your song with a short intro, a sparser verse and then build to your hook- where the arrangements go full out. You might want to experiment with some strings in the chorus or a fun loop to make the song as interesting as it can be.Nice idea- good luck!

Quote From Pro: Artist has a soulful vibe.