Month: July 2016

Broadjam Artist: J.J. McGuigan
Song: Forces I Cannot See

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)

Pro General Comments: This is a strong song for you to promote on yourself as the artist...it's a deep introspective personal look into your psyche...very strong intro...great guitar and percussion sounds and technique...i love the chorus...very catchy and memorable...I could still hear it playing in my mind long after the song was over and that's a good sign...the chord progression is good...the minor chords support the lyric...the military cadence of the snare drum really made the track interesting. the instrumental will make a good pitch for movies and television background...the overall length is within commercial time restraints

Quote From Pro: J.J. McGuigan is a soulful Alternative rock artist with the capabilities to pull an audience into his lyrics and music and hold their attention till the end of the song.

Broadjam Artist: Tim Sharp
Song: Jose Cuervo on the way

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Tim,I don't think your "Jose Cuervo" reference is limiting at all. Anybody who's ever had a shot of tequila know what you're talking about.However, there is a big time producer here in Nashville who says if he hears another beach/tequila song, he will throw the CD like a frisbee through the drywall in his office. After "Five 'O Clock Somewhere", and "Some Beach", and many others, Music Row has been inundated with submissions along those lines. And, Tim, I'm talking literally tens of thousands of them. Having said that, I have to refer you to what I said about "I Call Her Fred" re marketability.But this time, you asked me about the writing, and this time, I'm going to address that.First of all, I would suggest you be very wary of saying anything like "everyone loves the song. Many folks tell me it's the favorite one they listen to over and over".There is only one person that it matters whether or not the song effects them in a positive way. I call him TCL, which stands for "The Casual Listener".You have never met this person. He/she has no idea who you are. The only contact they have with you is the 3 minutes they give you to listen to your song. They are predisposed NOT to like it, because they hear a lot of other music, and they already think they know what they like.If you can turn THEIR heads, you've got something.It's very easy to allow yourself to be seduced by the compliments to your stuff that your friends, family, and everybody who you are face-to-face with is going to lay on you. Each one may be worth 99 cents.But if you can get TCL to like your song, be he a publisher, a producer, a music supervisor, what-have-you, THAT can put a significant piece of change in your pocket while it also puts you on a worldwide musical map.When I hear someone say, "Everybody loves this song", I cringe. I don't give a rat's patootie what "everybody" loves. I have heard some of the most horrible crap played for me after that little line has been uttered. Just sayin'.In this song, I have to say that it shows talent way above the usual tripe I have to listen to as part of what I do. You have potential to write a million dollar song, no question. But there are some tools, RULES, if you will, that I might suggest you consider.For instance:You DO use imagery, and you use it well. Your lyric puts me in the spot I want to be, because you SHOW me pictures of it instead of telling me. This is excellent work. You would be amazed at how many people do NOT get this. That one is already in your toolbox, which puts you way ahead.But then you go and stick your hook in the last line of your VERSE.This really takes the punch out of the hook. The only spot it should be in, in this song particularly, is in the CHORUS. You have it there, but it's already lost its steam because of its appearance as the last phrase of the verse.(Continued in "Question" section)

Quote From Pro: Tim Sharp is ON KEY!

Broadjam Artist: amy abernathy
Song: I wish you Love

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Michael Marans (Music Technologist)

Pro General Comments: I Wish You Love has great potential. The message is uplifting, the lyrics thoughtful, and the vocal performance is sweet, strong, and sincere. Unfortunately, the very traditional instrumentation and arrangement drag the song down, giving the track a dated, unoriginal flavor---one that's truly not deserved. I'd suggest recutting the track with an entirely new instrumental approach, one that gives each section of the song a chance to grow and flourish and offer some level of unpredictability and surprise. (Several of the later-appearing chord changes do just that...take you to a place other than the one you were expecting.) Things to try might include a piano-only intro and first verse, and instrumentation that's not so familiar, such as a fretless bass and a synth accompanied by hand percussion (or whatever). You might even want to revisit the overall feel and tempo entirely, just to take the song out of it's current '80s R&B vibe. The point is to take the song somewhere else sonically, so that the listener hears something fresh and new. You've got a strong message and delivery. Now you need the instrumental arrangement support to bring the song home. With that in place, your lower and middle scores would all increase accordingly, and you'd have a solid track to showcase your vocals. If you're set on the traditional sound and feel, I'd recommend listening to some of the early Wynonna records (Wynonna, Tell Me Why) for inspiration. Last critique: You vocal sounds generally effortless (a good thing), but in a few places, the phrasing is a little bit unnatural, one example being "I hope you never lose your love and Inspiration, That you get the passion that you are craving," (2nd time) where it seems as though you might be trying to fit all of the words in, instead of just letting them flow naturally. Experimentation with some alternative phrasing could yield worthwhile results. And don't be afraid to hold back on your vocal in the beginning and belt it out at the end. Dynamics capture the listener...you've got 'em, use 'em!

Quote From Pro: The message is uplifting, the lyrics thoughtful, and the vocal performance is sweet, strong, and sincere.

Broadjam Artist: Shirley Goines
Song: Beautiful Hurricane

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Doug Diamond (Music Supervisor, Engineer, Producer, Composer )

Pro General Comments: Hi Shirley -First of all, my apologies for the tardiness of finalizing this Pro Review for you. Ordinarily, I'm very punctual and get things finished on time, however about the time I would've ordinarily completed your review, I was in a major, near-fatal car accident which left me in the hospital for a few weeks and then in recovery / healing mode every since then - which has slowed me down considerably (temporarily). So, it's been because of this issue that I was late getting your review finished. I'm on the mend now though my apologies again.Thanks so much for bringing this song to my attention. I've enjoyed listening to it! This is like the James Bond theme that never was! (I love James Bond themes by the way).Overall, I really like your song, the production and nearly everything about it. The vocal is nice and works well with it and the mix was done well too so that things sit where they should between left and right and overall volumes of individual parts. I don't really have too many suggestions for you from the standpoint of production technique or the recording as that is all pretty solid. Depending on what you want to do with the song (pitch it as-is or try to get an artist interested in re-recording it in their style) would dictate what needs to happen with the lead vocal in my opinion. If you're going to pitch it as-is, I think the current vocal works fine, with perhaps a few lyric tweaks like you mentioned below. If you're thinking of having another artist record this song, sometimes it pays to have a demo singer that's closer to the artist style you're pitching to, so you might want to keep that in mind because you want the artist to identify with it being "their style" right away and not make them guess whether it would work for them or not.

Quote From Pro: "Beautiful Hurricane" is the James Bond theme that never was! It's an excellent, emotional song that has much to offer that perfectly-matched spot in a Film or TV show.

Broadjam Artist: J.J. McGuigan
Song: Desperate Eyes

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)

Pro General Comments: J.J. I was unable to hear the lyrics...The bass, percussion, guitar and sound effects drowned out your vocal and without a lyric sheet i was unable to make out what you were saying...I want to hear this again so please after you do a re-mix and bring up the vocal and lower the instruments to a level where i can hear every word send it to me at my3kidsmusic@comcast.net and i'll do another evaluation for free...What I did hear sounded dark and alternative which i think is what you intended. Your musicianship is not in question. Instrumentally the track was very good...very professional...The mix was sub par especially if you pitch this to a music supervisor for a lyric specific spot in a movie or television show...in this instance the lyrics are very important and need to be heard

Quote From Pro: J.J. McGuigan is proving that he has the capabilities to write competitive music in any genre. He is not afraid to dare to be different and break the rules.

Broadjam Artist: Sublimaze69
Song: Liar, Liar, (Pants On Fire)

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Diana Williamson (Songwriter, Music Supervisor)

Pro General Comments: Please note I don't rate individual instrumentation since my expertise lies more in marketability, lyric, melody, and overall performance.Hi Scott:It's always good to take a well worn phrase and use it in a song. This is a good tool for a hook to draw your audience in initially.When building your hook, your main payoff in a song, try to find an accompanying phrase that gives more dimension to your idea and has a strong rhyme. "Liar, liar, pants on fire", - you have a lot of words that could rhyme to play with- higher, desire, etc.. Your hook really needs to have that strong PAYOFF. Also it breaks up the repitition. It gives the song more zest than just repeating the same line.You also really want to have that hook payoff melodically. So build from your verse to the hook so it's something so catchy that a person who hears it once can "whistle it back to you". The old "whistle test" which writers from Tin Pan Alley would use to see if they had a good song. If they played it 2 to 3 times to a someone and that person could whistle it back- they knew they had something catchy. You want to incorporate this every time into your songs. The style you are going seems to work with the subject matter. It's dark and mysterious. Grungy guitars and layered vocals. Really like your reverbed vocals. Your lead vocal feels a bit buried in this particular mix. Try to find a fresh way of making the song stand out. Why not for eg- have some fun and have a female vocalist sing one of the verses- maybe she's reacting to the lead vocalist. Mix things up a bit to make things as interesting as much as possible. Maybe add some dark strings to bring up the arrangement a notch?In the marketplace it's the most inventive that gets heard out there, unless you're an already established artist like "Adelle" who just has to write a simple song Hello- and everyone falls apart. It's the melody in that song that makes it undeniable.Study some hits that are in your vein to see what tricks they use. The Foo Fighters (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBjQ9tuuTJQ) for eg may be an interesting one- it really came in with a bang on to the airwaves. It also talks about lying in an interesting way- "Pretender". You might want to try and be a little more specific in your lyrics. Mysterious is good but vague only gets confusing. Also try and keep your lines "everyday speech" something someone would actually say. This lends credibility and allows people to understand what you are really trying to say. If they don't they will lose interest."And pain you "lace" inside- is not a phrase someone would say- lace doesn't really make sense. Try to make your words flow smoothly so they don't attract attention because they don't make sense. "So many stories told?Information thats better, to with hold" This feels a bit like a "forced rhyme", something you tried too hard to make to fit. "You just don't see me seein' through what you see". This phrase also feels a bit awkward. A person wouldn't say this in real life. Keep it conversational and it will work better.Give us a beginning middle and end in a song. Who is this person to the singer, a lover, a friend? We want to know how the singer feels about this person- draw us into your story if you want us to care. For eg, an "end" to the story might be the singer walking away or the singer saying I'll be there for you when you decide to change. Have some kind of resolution and the song will feel more complete.

Quote From Pro: Good, aggressive rock vibe.

Broadjam Artist: Sublimaze69
Song: We Are Our Race

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Diana Williamson (Songwriter, Music Supervisor)

Pro General Comments: Hi Scott:I like the peppy vibe of your song and the backgrounds are done in an effective manner. Since it's a sample length I'm thinking you may want some advice /opinions before making an entire song of it which is wise so you start off on the right track. So far so good!Now you state your songs are rock/alternative but like merging different styles. This song feels like it could incorporate some reggae elements. The subject matter might lend itself to this so you might want to study some reggae hits and see what kind of arrangements they use and fuse the two. Do some homework and study some of the hits. This can only help you see what is working in the marketplace. For eg UB40's Red Red Wine was a huge hit that merged pop with a reggae feel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wzVyTEDnj4g This lyric video shows you how they write and space our their lyrics. It's an old song but it still gets played on radio- of course you may want to study newer ones as well. Ben Harper and Jack Johnston may be some good artists to study. Ben is particularly good at taking a phrase and making it clever but marketable. When writing songs about the human race- this is one of the hardest subjects to tackle- because unfortunately people shie away from hard subjects it seems these days. They turn to music for escape and to distress a lot of the times which is why pop dance is so big. So if you write about a difficult subject which is a good thing to do- the best way most of the time is to do it -is to try and educate them while entertaining them. (A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down). People don't like to be preached to- so you have to do it in a manner which they feel they aren't being preached to.It may have something to do with the pace of the world. In the 60's and 70's- there were more social commentary songs and people were listening. Even Pink Floyd's songs about society and Supertramp had some dark themes but people ate them up. It would be a good use of time to study some of the hits that talk about society and how they did it. It changes in the different eras.With today's marke that is a lot of dance- even country is going pop!! You wanna make things whenever possible a little more subtle or clever. "Now the term we are our race" is a bit vague. You want to come up with a hook or title that is something that if a person looked at a cd of 50 songs- your hook would jump out at them. It doesn't have to be all that clever- either - but it has to strike an emotional chord that they might want to hear about. For eg on the top of the charts right now- is "Stressed Out", "Never Forget You" and "Sorry". They may not be extremely original but they may be something you might want to tune into if you are going through that emotion. Try to tweak that title a bit. For eg "Come Together" by the Beatles is a title that might reflect what you are saying. (titles can be used a million times- they are not copyrightable). Or "We are One Heart" beating, we are one heart feeling, come together now and feel the heat.... Feel the fire. When you're happy, so am I, when you're down, you make me cry cause we're all one heart beating.... That kind of thing.This is the kind of route you could take with the song if you like. Feel free to use the ideas. But that is a way you keep your audience listening but you're not accusing them of wrongdoing. You're making your point in a way that draws people together.Right now it feels like you gave me half of your hook. Try to give us a line that rhymes with your title. Rhymes increase the catchiness and make people remember. Start your song with a short intro, a sparser verse and then build to your hook- where the arrangements go full out. You might want to experiment with some strings in the chorus or a fun loop to make the song as interesting as it can be.Nice idea- good luck!

Quote From Pro: Artist has a soulful vibe.

Broadjam Artist: Sublimaze69
Song: There's Too Many People...

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Diana Williamson (Songwriter, Music Supervisor)

Pro General Comments: HI Scott:Please note I don't rate individual instrumentation since my expertise lies more in marketability, lyric, melody, and overall performance.You have an interesting way of creating the vocal effects. It's really fun in its attitude and vibe.Before I read your lyrics, this is the vibe I got from your song which is completely different once I read your lyric:What would really bring up the song is increasing your melodic contrast and builds. Right now it works if you cut the song short. I can see you working with this for the background in a film in a comedic type scene. Do you know any student filmmakers you can work with and provide some bg music?For eg., I could see a comedic type character walking through a marketplace in India, maybe someone spiked his drink and he is seeing double vision while trying to find his way back to his hotel in a foreign place. This type of song in the background could suit a bewildered comic character who the audience thinks is funny. Many times filmmakers use contrasting music to play against a scene.As mentioned earlier the melody would have to go somewhere new if you were going to use it for something else to break up the repetition. It's also good to vary up the dynamics in such a case. You want to build to the hook not give it away right away.After reading about the lyrics, it obviously doesn't seem like a comedic song due to the subject matter, man's heartlessness. So I would either change the lyric a bit to suit the vibe of the song or change the music up a bit to suit the style of the music.Just an idea, not sure if you're interested or your bg. But you might have fun doing music for sketches. There are so many people making shorts nowadays and they all need music. You might want to try your hand at this and see where it takes you. It's always great fun to see your music on film and meeting new collaborators could help your create process.You are following a good rhyme scheme. When talking about heavy subject matter It's probably a good idea to have three verses at the most and try to evolve the subject matter when moving from one to the following. Then possibly break it up with a bridge that takes the song somewhere new.Have fun and good luck.

Quote From Pro: Song shows a potential for possible media collaborations with filmmakers.

Broadjam Artist: J.J. McGuigan
Song: Home

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Brian Rasner (Music Supervisor)

Pro General Comments: Impressed how fast song drew me in so quickly. The song like the title and subject matter fittingly are straight to the point and not over saturated in a good way as not being too complicated to mask the artistic expression..the nice feeling and sentiments of song wanting to be home, away from the wondering, complications, uncertainty..seeing clearly that Home whether physical or otherwise is where he needs to be.Reminds me of J Mascis solo work but you might know him of Dinosaur Jr. Fame. Vocally have a lot of the same reflections and get into similar territory which is a compliment. Guitar solo too..he's well known for his prowess and lead guitar lines. Memorable and strikes right at the Heart.Sometimes you just want to hear a song that feels good, not too edgy, over run with heaviness and complexity, one that you can nod your head to with instant feeling..this song has accomplished it. I appreciate the fact that its memorable right off the bat with just a couple of listens because it taps into a place we all have been and felt in our lives. Lyrically you did this excellently. The guitar lines lead us there, all the while tugging on our heart strings. Vocally its an emotional roll down your window while driving pondering landscapes or city lights it doesn't matter its universal, and I think that's something everyone can hear and appreciate The only thing I would love to hear is if you added or even replaced the guitar solo with that of a pedal steel or even a slide..To me this would do a lot and the subltly tug a little deeper when your vocals aren't there to guide. Overall great work and I will look forward to hearing more from you J.J.!

Quote From Pro: 'Home' a song that speaks to the universal desire in us all who have lost our way and feel that craving deep down inside of us wanting more, rushing out us as fast as our Hearts can beat, this is you're theme song. Roll down your windows and head for Home

Broadjam Artist: Randall Rutledge
Song: Non Stop Flight

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Randall and Raymond,First, I want to apologize for the length of time it took me to get this review back to you. In my defense, I got back form a medical mission trip to central Guatemala on March 18th, and I myself was sick for a week after we landed. Then the family showed up for a weekend, and that shot everything too. Not an excuse. Just an explanation.Now to the song.Love the groove you have going on here. Top-notch studio musicians.I think the idea of the song is excellent, and very hooky.I think that you could successfully place this song with some production libraries and do some good with it. Just on the strength of the tracks.Everything I say here is only my opinion. All I would try to do is inspire you to greater heights.I believe there is room for a lot of improvement in this song, and I will give you my suggestions.But please keep in mind they are only SUGGESTIONS.There's an old catch phrase among commercial songwriters. It's become an indispensable arrow in the songwriter's quiver. I give it to you as it was given to me long ago. Made me re-write every song I had with it in mind."Less is MORE".Every syllable must count. If you can think of a way to squeeze the number of syllables down, the further down you get it the stronger it becomes.For instance:"We taxi down the runway hand in hand". There is no need to add the words "We taxi". It makes it sound cumbersome, as if you have to hurry the lyric to get them in. And you can drop a few syllables in the second part of the line, and have it look like THIS:"Down the runway, hand in hand, we take off on our own flight plan"...Much easier to sing, much more fluid on the ear.Every line has to SNAP with cleverness and be different than the lines before it and after it."As we take off on the go" is kinda meaningless here. For one thing, you've already used the phrase "take off" in the first line. I'm of the opinion that the only thing that should be allowed to repeat in the whole song is the HOOK. It makes the hook more POWERFUL.You could get crazy and say "Leave our baggage in the hold, turn off air traffic control". (You can use that, free of charge, if you want to.)Every line in this song needs to lose weight to gain power, if you know what I mean.And do your best, whatever you have to do, to make sure you have NO CLICHES in your lyric, unless you are presenting them in a fresh way. These are words or phrases that have been used so many times, they lose their meaning.For instance:"On the go", "Our love is true"."Well around the world many things I've seen but loving you I've earned my wings" is repeated three times, which is okay if it's the chorus, but it doesn't stand out as melodically different from the rest of the song. The most successful song form in the history of the recorded music charts is Verse-Chorus-Verse-Chorus-Bridge Chorus. The chorus, in this form, should be completely different from the verses in melody and lyric. It's usually the only place where the hook is heard.I'm not really sure it matters in this song. It seems to have it's own form.But if that's the case, I would urge you to consider making every verse different, as in NO repetitions. If for no other reason, you are repeating the heck out of "Non-stop Flight, when I'm a-lovin' you", and everything else should be different, IMHO.Also, I would encourage you to try to make the verses a little less cumbersome in places. For instance:"We ignore radio frequency cause we're flying frequently" sounds a little tough to sing, and frequency and frequently are the same words, really. See if you can come up with something to beat that.Remember, you don't HAVE to have EVERY line be an airplane reference.If you give this song a re-write with these ideas in mind, I think you may end up with a stronger, more commercially viable piece of music.And I wish you the best of luck.

Quote From Pro: Randall Rutledge can take you around the world on a NON-STOP FLIGHT. Fun music, good times.