Broadjam Artist: Charles Edmund Carter
Song: Don't Go Making Promises
Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)
Pro General Comments: incredible instrumentation, great sound to the entire band. The background vocals are superb. The bass player nails it, and in a song like this, that's oh so important.If you are going to have a song that is titled "Don't Go Making Promises", somewhere in the first few lines, we need to know what promises have been broken.As a matter of fact, it might be a good idea to have some kind of a broken promise in every verse. The last line of each verse is actually a Chorus, technically. As such the melody for that should stand out, should rise above everything else in the song. Not necessarily higher in the melody (even though that does work), but stronger, more noticeable in some way.I would strongly suggest you get rid of the word "just" in that hook line. It does absolutely nothing. It is a place where you could stretch the melody out with the rest of those words and therefore make it more noticeable.Just a thought.Charles, go through every single line of the song and make it justify its existence. Every single syllable. If you can take them out and still have the same meaning, or better, they gotta go.All the syllables should point directly to your hook. In some way or other you must be explaining why this person should not be making promises that they can't keep.Lastly, the arrangement is too long. Your song should end before you get to the line, "Maybe I should go..." Everything after that is superfluous. Adding a new sounding melody suddenly is very confusing.Besides, your song is too long. It's hard to imagine getting much airtime on important stations if you are much longer than three minutes.Also, I would suggest you consider how old your listener has to be to know who Little Bo Peep was.Charles, I love doing your songs. Keep up the good work.Tirk
Quote From Pro: Incredibly versatile songwriter
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