Broadjam Artist: Paul Reidy
Song: One more time
Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)
Pro General Comments: Paul, Finding something fresh, new, original and creative is very important if you want to get noticed as a songwriter. Your lyric has no surprises in my opinion. I've heard these lyrics many times over the years. Find something to say that hasn't been said or change a common line into something more interesting. Rhyme is also very important if you want your listener to remember your words. Verse 1 uses an AABBCDCA that's not a common rhyme pattern for an 8 line verse but it is interesting...your theme/idea is common... 2nd verse rhyme doesn't match first verse...2nd verse is ABBCDDEE compare that to verse 1...match rhyme patterns as closely as possible. The computer I'm on has small built in speakers which made the guitar sound distorted at times. The piano sounded great...I really like the way you set up the hook and delivered a memorable catchy melody with a strong rhythm...I'm not a big fan of double tracking vocals. The singer was a little pitchy in my opinion...good overall length of song...commercial friendly. This retro pop/rock genre reminds me of early Billy Joel and Elton John. That's good company to be in...
Quote From Pro: Paul Reidy is mixing retro pop/rock with today's technology to create a blend of old and new for both the younger generation and those growing up in the 70's