Jack and Jill by Alan Lee Carpenter

Broadjam Artist: Alan Lee CarpenterSong: Jack and JillBroadjam Pro Reviewer: Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)Pro General Comments: Okay, you hit the jackpot on this one. This one should be in a television show for sure. If you’re in Los Angeles, that shou…

Alan Lee Carpenter

Broadjam Artist: Alan Lee Carpenter
Song: Jack and Jill

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)

Pro General Comments: Okay, you hit the jackpot on this one. This one should be in a television show for sure. If you're in Los Angeles, that should be a huge focus for you to connect and network with music supervisors and have two to three songs for them to review, this being one of them. Though songs called "Jack and Jill" are pretty common, this one is just unique enough to hit a homerun. Once again, don't love the guitar solo, might be a mix thing, don't be afraid to let those solos sit a little tighter in your mix. Both times they have felt more like metal solos in a song that wasn't quite a metal song. It needs more atmosphere in the break, and likely cut them in half. Awesome lyric - and, as you know by now - really really good vocal. This hook will be stuck in my head for days. Great writing, nicely recorded and perfectly sung. Have you listen to Airborne Toxic Event's "Songs of God and Whiskey" - if you haven't, check it out for inspiration.

Quote From Pro: Music supervisors, tune in for a wistful, powerful vocal and indie folk vibe. This song is begging for a feature in a teen television program. Fantastic writing, recording and performance.

Endure by Alan Lee Carpenter

Broadjam Artist: Alan Lee CarpenterSong: EndureBroadjam Pro Reviewer: Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)Pro General Comments: You really do write interesting songs. This one lost me a little on the verses, but I like the the overall lyrical vibe is hope. Ho…

Alan Lee Carpenter

Broadjam Artist: Alan Lee Carpenter
Song: Endure

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)

Pro General Comments: You really do write interesting songs. This one lost me a little on the verses, but I like the the overall lyrical vibe is hope. Hope lyrics spun in a unique way are often a great match for film and television opportunities, so I highly encourage you to pitch this one to libraries and sync opportunities. The melody and approach on this one feels more 80s Brit folk than any of your others, but once again that leaves me fascinated by who you are as an artist. I do not believe this is the strongest of your offerings, but it is a nice album track, and, once again, a lovely, gifted vocal sets the atmosphere into the air for me. You've got something very special with your voice. The mix feels better on this one than some of the others, things sit right and really have a nice pocket. Are you recording these as tracks, or with a live band? I'm curious, I can't quite tell on the drum sounds. I would also love for you to include lyrics with your future submissions as that feels like a big selling point for you for sure, and I would like to read them.

Quote From Pro: Gorgeous vocal and uplifting lyric. A hopeful hook lifts a lovely Brit-pop melody into the sky.

Broken Road by Alan Lee Carpenter

Broadjam Artist: Alan Lee CarpenterSong: Broken RoadBroadjam Pro Reviewer: Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)Pro General Comments: This song is super cool, it had me interested right off the bat, until that guitar solo, which does not work for me. It should…

Alan Lee Carpenter

Broadjam Artist: Alan Lee Carpenter
Song: Broken Road

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)

Pro General Comments: This song is super cool, it had me interested right off the bat, until that guitar solo, which does not work for me. It should be a wild, cool synth solo - the guitar feels out of place and less melodic and interesting than the rest of this. You once again sound very English, a little folky, and also very Killers-y. This is a good thing because all of it feels familiar but yet I can't say you sound just like so-and-so, which is very important in creating an identity for yourself as an artist. People tend to like things that are just different enough but also remind them of something they can't put their finger on. You do that, mostly in your very very good vocals. I love the vibrato in your voice, and this is a unique, fascinating lyric that sets your voice in a great setting. I don't love the title, I think because it's very common. I know it feels like the hook lyrically, but a more imaginative title could peak interest in what you're doing on this one. One of my favorites you've sent in. Fantastic chorus melody too. If you don't already have a video, consider one -there's too much good imagery here to pass up.

Quote From Pro: Killer (no pun intended) vocal melody married to an imaginative, deep lyric - with a hook that will keep you dancing. A great scene-setter for a film, or one you'll want to hear a packed club.

Gonna Get It Right – Dance by Alan Lee Carpenter

Broadjam Artist: Alan Lee CarpenterSong: Gonna Get It Right – DanceBroadjam Pro Reviewer: Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)Pro General Comments: In general, I really like this but I don’t love it. It has so many great elements, the dance feel – and, in par…

Alan Lee Carpenter

Broadjam Artist: Alan Lee Carpenter
Song: Gonna Get It Right - Dance

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)

Pro General Comments: In general, I really like this but I don't love it. It has so many great elements, the dance feel - and, in particular, the AWESOME vocal performance, but the hook leaves me wanting more. On first listen, I was not immediately sure what the song meant, and for a dance/indie rock song like this there should be no question of the hook and how to relate to it. I honestly think the lyric might be too complex for the genre. It's okay to have a complex verse, but it needs an undeniable hook in the chorus. Your music is on target and feels great. I suggest really digging in on that hook and chorus lyric and come back with a homerun on it. It's so close. The drum sounds are a little off in the mix, you may wish to A/B those against a song you love and make sure you're landing the mix right on that as well. I really do love your voice. I definitely think you have a voice to be an artist, but I could also hear this song with a stronger hook being recorded by other artists.

Quote From Pro: Upbeat, fun tune with a complex vocal and an absolutely killer vocal. Makes you think - AND dance.

Thank you by Joy A Simons Brown

Broadjam Artist: Joy A Simons BrownSong: Thank youBroadjam Pro Reviewer: Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)Pro General Comments: Hi Joy,This is a beautiful song with a soaring vocal and uplifting arrangement. I would place this song in the pop/…

Joy A Simons Brown

Broadjam Artist: Joy A Simons Brown
Song: Thank you

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)

Pro General Comments: Hi Joy,This is a beautiful song with a soaring vocal and uplifting arrangement. I would place this song in the pop/adult contemporary genre. I really love the chord progression and well constructed melodic lines. The meter in verse two is very different than the meter in verse 1 but because this is a song written by you for you to perform the only rule to follow is there are no rules. The different meter made the 2nd verse melody and phrasing slightly different but you made it work. The only thing i would change is the drum track...the wood block hit was distracting to me. The song would be much stronger without it in my opinion. The classical instrumental section that led to the bridge was long but it kept me interested. The bridge lifted nicely and led to a strong last chorus. Beautiful emotional, heartfelt and inspirational vocal. Overall this song is very impressive. I also loved the simplicity of your lyric. Very conversational,easy to follow and understand. Good rhyme scheme. You start each chorus with the hook as an option you might also want to consider ending the chorus with Thank You as well. The way it is right now "only for you" is the secondary hook because that line ends the first two choruses.

Quote From Pro: Joy A Simons Brown is a songs best friend. She is a very talented and skilled singer/songwriter with a very bright future.

No Way (country demo) by Warren Hein

Broadjam Artist: Warren HeinSong: No Way (country demo)Broadjam Pro Reviewer: Chris Keaton (Music Publisher, Artist Manager, Song Plugger)Pro General Comments: No way, Jose! No way, no way! Okay, I’ll stop now. But here are my observations about thi…

Warren Hein

Broadjam Artist: Warren Hein
Song: No Way (country demo)

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Chris Keaton (Music Publisher, Artist Manager, Song Plugger)

Pro General Comments: No way, Jose! No way, no way! Okay, I'll stop now. But here are my observations about this song: It's a smash hit! Everything about this song works for me. The idea is so unique, fresh and a truly creative approach.The instrumental track is top notch and record quality. Everything is recorded well and placed in the mix in such way that everything has it's own space. My hat is off to the engineer. What a marvelous job of recording and mixing. The production is crisp, clear and very professional (again, this really does sound like a master recording). The melody and lyric hang together well and the story line unfolds in a way that keeps the listener engaged and wanting more. This is where most writers get lost. They seem to want to put the second verse first and not allow the story to unfold for the listener. Bravo!The vocalist is obviously a pro. His vocal pitch and timber are right on. His accent sounds natural and not pushed or phony. He emotes each word of the lyric and there is absolutely no sense that he is "just reading". (I feel like I'm gushing here but rarely do I get a song this well written and a demo this well performed, recorded and produced. Honestly, as the great Max D. Barnes used to say, "The only thing this song needs is a release date!")Thank you for sharing and for allowing me to offer my critique. Way!

Quote From Pro: Way! Honestly, as the great Max D. Barnes used to say, "The only thing this song needs is a release date!"

Rock Paper Scissors by Warren Hein

Broadjam Artist: Warren HeinSong: Rock Paper ScissorsBroadjam Pro Reviewer: Chris Keaton (Music Publisher, Artist Manager, Song Plugger)Pro General Comments: Interesting conceptual song. The lyric and vocal draw the listener in and the song unfolds in…

Warren Hein

Broadjam Artist: Warren Hein
Song: Rock Paper Scissors

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Chris Keaton (Music Publisher, Artist Manager, Song Plugger)

Pro General Comments: Interesting conceptual song. The lyric and vocal draw the listener in and the song unfolds in a very compelling way. Not certain about where the song will eventually end up but it seems prime for a film or television placement.I'd love to hear more from this writer if there is more material. Please feel free to submit more for review at any time.The overall sense I get from the song is sadness and gloom but a slight notion of happiness (even if it is in memories.) The sparrow's nest is an intriguing idea. Very visual and mysterious, particularly in light of the fact that it is such a common item. Interesting concept here. Bravo!The lyric really does create very strong visuals. The breathiness of the vocal creates an eeriness but yet undeniable feeling. Very conversational and personal. It's almost as if the singer is speaking directly to me.The sparse track allows the vocal to drive the story without getting in the way or causing any distractions. The piano sound is marvelous (great recording technique!). The track breathes and has lots of space. I think the track is sensational!

Quote From Pro: Stark lyric and excellent storytelling.

Heartless Parade by Alan Lee Carpenter

Broadjam Artist: Alan Lee CarpenterSong: Heartless ParadeBroadjam Pro Reviewer: Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)Pro General Comments: Man, this one is great! An original title, fantastic lyric and yet another stellar vocal performance. I was curious to he…

Alan Lee Carpenter

Broadjam Artist: Alan Lee Carpenter
Song: Heartless Parade

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)

Pro General Comments: Man, this one is great! An original title, fantastic lyric and yet another stellar vocal performance. I was curious to hear all the California references because based on the other songs I assumed you were working out of the UK (I try not to look up too much about the artist/writer prior to reviewing so I'm not swayed by a bio or other peoples' thoughts on the music). This track has more of a modern indie band vibe, a little Seattle / Portland thing like The National, but still holding on to the pop sensibility and production. Your voice continues to be a home run for me, and this song really establishes more of your personality and lyric prowess. I do see this one working in sync as well, though it may be a more specific "yes this is perfect for the scene" thing, which really can take time but pay off greatly in the end. Production is stellar. Keep on this path, it's just a question of you writing "the" song. This one and "Roommate" to me establish your unique voice the most.

Quote From Pro: A fascinating, smart lyric about love and loss and regret delivered by a great vocalist with true pop sensibility. A must listen for music supervisors and song lovers across the board.

Reaching Out of Reach by Alan Lee Carpenter

Broadjam Artist: Alan Lee CarpenterSong: Reaching Out of ReachBroadjam Pro Reviewer: Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)Pro General Comments: The melody and lyric of “Reaching Out of Reach” is not as compelling as “Roommate”. I think you got a bit philosophi…

Alan Lee Carpenter

Broadjam Artist: Alan Lee Carpenter
Song: Reaching Out of Reach

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)

Pro General Comments: The melody and lyric of "Reaching Out of Reach" is not as compelling as "Roommate". I think you got a bit philosophical here, which puts this more as an album cut than a super-accessible single. It's a tougher one-time listen. I was thinking more about what you were trying to say rather than getting lost in the track. Per the others, the vocal is stellar. You are a really really good singer, ready for the radio and sync. This one lost me a little lyrically, but I think it would work for a full album. It might be a tougher television pitch because of the less-focused lyric, but once again the production is spot-on and professional, so you never know. Overall, I'm a fan of what I'm hearing from you. I wonder if more of a repeat of the title hook (perhaps as a melodic post hook) could make this one connect more. It's darn close as is, but not quite there.

Quote From Pro: There's hope and confusion in this well-produced and performed track that falls somewhere between '80s throwback pop and modern atmospheric crooners like Troye Sivan.

Roommate by Alan Lee Carpenter

Broadjam Artist: Alan Lee CarpenterSong: RoommateBroadjam Pro Reviewer: Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)Pro General Comments: This is my favorite one so far – the title is fascinating, I wanted to hear it right away. I really love the vocal, I assume it’s…

Alan Lee Carpenter

Broadjam Artist: Alan Lee Carpenter
Song: Roommate

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)

Pro General Comments: This is my favorite one so far - the title is fascinating, I wanted to hear it right away. I really love the vocal, I assume it's you? If so, you've got a voice that I think will work extraordinarily well for sync. This song is so atmospheric and current sounding that you should submit to as many opportunities as you can on that front. It reminds me both production and vocal-wise of Troye Sivan. It feels very English, which makes it more exotic for us here in America. I don't hear any changes on mix or lead vocal. Songwriting wise, again, I would love to see your lyric, but most came through easily and I found it compelling and imaginative. You really captured the longing and emotion of not wanting to be alone. My favorite so far. Great work, at a competitive writing and production level. Writing songs like this one - with a unique title and very good vocal performance - will get you where you want to go.

Quote From Pro: A beautiful song of hope and longing a la Troye Sivan. Ready for its sync close-up, "Roommate" is delivered by a stellar lead vocal and gorgeous production.