Luminous by J Edna Mae Thomas

J Edna Mae Thomas

Broadjam Artist: J Edna Mae Thomas
Song: Luminous

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
J Chris Griffin (Producer, Engineer)

Pro General Comments: Thanks for asking me to be a part of your record! I hope this review will be a positive and helpful experience for you.This is very well done. The lyric is completely engaging, melody is fantastic, the production is good and the vocals are super-pro. Awesome work! I particularly like the airy background vocals The mix is superb, your vocals are perfectly balanced and the playing is appropriate and professional.Form is so important in popular music your arrangement is spot-on. I could distinguish and follow each part of the story as it unfolds. I love the sparse instrumentation! It allows the story to be featured and it leaves space for your amazing background vox arrangement. Great job for showing restraint and not overloading the song with instruments and percussion! Your background vocals are really tight and polished. Attacks and releases are together, theres nothing sticking out and drawing my attention away from your lead vocal. The texture and timbre enhances the song and the production.There isnt much to comment on, but two things come to mind. Take these suggestions with a grain of salt. If they are useful go with it. If not, discard and know that I like your work.First, I appreciate when artists fully represent a certain style without blurring boundaries between disciplines. For example, if you use Broadway technique on a Mozart aria, theres a chance that legitimate classical artists might not take you seriously. Similarly, if someone shows up in the Pop world with classical technique, they get brushed aside. The vibe of the music isnt being adequately representedLuminous is right on the edge of Pop, almost touching pop classical or accessible theater styles. Nevertheless, its still Pop. Leave extra-precise t and d consonants out of this style. It pushes the story away from me as a listener. In other words, stay as conversational and present as possible. Otherwise your listeners might be distracted by the formality of your delivery. In Pop, all t consonants get turned into d.You are my high note - dont over pronounce the t here. Its too formal. Same thing on leitmotif. No need to harden the t at all. If you were in a 40-piece choir, theres another story, but conversational pronunciations rule in this style. If theres a doubt, say it out loud without hard consonants and see if it sounds normal. Again, in Broadway or Legitimate-Classical styles, this isnt done, but we are Pop (ish) with this song.You may counter with it IS theatre-based! I still think its too hard. J Dont listen to well-meaning musicians insisting that all consonants must be pronounced with full value. Thats only true in two styles. No one making commercial records would fault you for being more conversational with your lyric. Heres a rule if the story suffers at all from a technical requirement, leave technique out and tell the story.The other suggestion concerns the mix in your bridge. Your luminous luminous vocal sits in the center (of the mix) while the new vocal your light is drawing me is panned hard left then hard right on the second phrase. With this panning it becomes difficult to hear the new vocal because there is now only one ear available to hear new information. I found it hard to pull all of my attention over to the left (then right) to hear the new lyric. I suggest closing the pan width to about 10 and 2 oclock. Also instead of turning up this new vocal, turn the existing vocal in the center down significantly. The point of adding new lyrics over old is artful and valid, but dont pull attention away from other elements (harmony, timbre, stereo lushness) to get it done.This is a wonderful track! Best wishes to you in the future let me hear new songs as they come!Chris

Quote From Pro: Luminous is completely engaging. The melody is fantastic and the vocals are perfectly balanced in a timeless, lush arrangement that perfectly captures beauty and light.

Luminous by J Edna Mae Thomas

J Edna Mae Thomas

Broadjam Artist: J Edna Mae Thomas
Song: Luminous

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
J Chris Griffin (Producer, Engineer)

Pro General Comments: Thanks for asking me to be a part of your record! I hope this review will be a positive and helpful experience for you.This is very well done. The lyric is completely engaging, melody is fantastic, the production is good and the vocals are super-pro. Awesome work! I particularly like the airy background vocals The mix is superb, your vocals are perfectly balanced and the playing is appropriate and professional.Form is so important in popular music your arrangement is spot-on. I could distinguish and follow each part of the story as it unfolds. I love the sparse instrumentation! It allows the story to be featured and it leaves space for your amazing background vox arrangement. Great job for showing restraint and not overloading the song with instruments and percussion! Your background vocals are really tight and polished. Attacks and releases are together, theres nothing sticking out and drawing my attention away from your lead vocal. The texture and timbre enhances the song and the production.There isnt much to comment on, but two things come to mind. Take these suggestions with a grain of salt. If they are useful go with it. If not, discard and know that I like your work.First, I appreciate when artists fully represent a certain style without blurring boundaries between disciplines. For example, if you use Broadway technique on a Mozart aria, theres a chance that legitimate classical artists might not take you seriously. Similarly, if someone shows up in the Pop world with classical technique, they get brushed aside. The vibe of the music isnt being adequately representedLuminous is right on the edge of Pop, almost touching pop classical or accessible theater styles. Nevertheless, its still Pop. Leave extra-precise t and d consonants out of this style. It pushes the story away from me as a listener. In other words, stay as conversational and present as possible. Otherwise your listeners might be distracted by the formality of your delivery. In Pop, all t consonants get turned into d.You are my high note - dont over pronounce the t here. Its too formal. Same thing on leitmotif. No need to harden the t at all. If you were in a 40-piece choir, theres another story, but conversational pronunciations rule in this style. If theres a doubt, say it out loud without hard consonants and see if it sounds normal. Again, in Broadway or Legitimate-Classical styles, this isnt done, but we are Pop (ish) with this song.You may counter with it IS theatre-based! I still think its too hard. J Dont listen to well-meaning musicians insisting that all consonants must be pronounced with full value. Thats only true in two styles. No one making commercial records would fault you for being more conversational with your lyric. Heres a rule if the story suffers at all from a technical requirement, leave technique out and tell the story.The other suggestion concerns the mix in your bridge. Your luminous luminous vocal sits in the center (of the mix) while the new vocal your light is drawing me is panned hard left then hard right on the second phrase. With this panning it becomes difficult to hear the new vocal because there is now only one ear available to hear new information. I found it hard to pull all of my attention over to the left (then right) to hear the new lyric. I suggest closing the pan width to about 10 and 2 oclock. Also instead of turning up this new vocal, turn the existing vocal in the center down significantly. The point of adding new lyrics over old is artful and valid, but dont pull attention away from other elements (harmony, timbre, stereo lushness) to get it done.This is a wonderful track! Best wishes to you in the future let me hear new songs as they come!Chris

Quote From Pro: Luminous is completely engaging. The melody is fantastic and the vocals are perfectly balanced in a timeless, lush arrangement that perfectly captures beauty and light.

A NEW BEGINNING by BFATAL

BFATAL

Broadjam Artist: BFATAL
Song: A NEW BEGINNING

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Dave Hampton (Audio Engineer, Music Technologist, Producer)

Pro General Comments: This music sounds like some generalized mood music. I didn't get the R&B connection. It never goes any definitive place. Similar to what's called generic sound alike. I also know that when string sounds and flute sounds are used as main stays or constantly thru a production they often work very much like a "tell" in poker. In other words the use of these sounds can often que the listener as to a repetitive pattern in the writing style. That means that I can tell the parts of the song that you were sure of. Also using sounds with slow attacks often signifies that your playing or musicianship is not at a fluent level that you can improvise and use other sounds and styles of notes to create transition in a song. Sonically the blend of the instruments is ok in places but use of delay on a guitar is not transition. Piano sound is import an as well as the use of the sustain pedal. The pureness of a piano note is emphasized by holding it and letting it decay into the next cycle. Short stabs and piano notes make it sound like strikes on a toy piano.Also on the Drums several times they go low in the mix they the sons sounding like a fade but not really. Please on drums and instrumentals it helps to close your eyes and imagine that the band is in front of you then create and choose the proper pans sonically for each drum sound. All sound is not stereo L,R in the same place. When you place guitars and flutes do the same. It helps the listener hear the blend as if it were actually being played . Just because it's canned doesn't mean that you don't have to do a little extra to bring them to life.On the use of effects. Make sure that your reverb times and delay times do not conflict. The distortion guitar and the flute seem to switch places as lead vocal types in this song. The Rock sound is great and the pure tone of the flute is just as powerful, great choices. They are also helped by building an overall ambience for them to set in with the drums and effects.Also listen to fusion artist Jean Luc Ponty I find this reminds me of some of his blends of sounds.Please remember these are production observations from an engineer. If they sound harsh please read my other reviews and also listen to the song as you read my comments.

Quote From Pro: "Great contemplative themes for relaxing and reading or just trying to slow down and chill. Not too complicated as to make you fell assaulted by sounds, notes and confusion but instead a collective direction from and to the same place. Completeness!"

A NEW BEGINNING by BFATAL

BFATAL

Broadjam Artist: BFATAL
Song: A NEW BEGINNING

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Dave Hampton (Audio Engineer, Music Technologist, Producer)

Pro General Comments: This music sounds like some generalized mood music. I didn't get the R&B connection. It never goes any definitive place. Similar to what's called generic sound alike. I also know that when string sounds and flute sounds are used as main stays or constantly thru a production they often work very much like a "tell" in poker. In other words the use of these sounds can often que the listener as to a repetitive pattern in the writing style. That means that I can tell the parts of the song that you were sure of. Also using sounds with slow attacks often signifies that your playing or musicianship is not at a fluent level that you can improvise and use other sounds and styles of notes to create transition in a song. Sonically the blend of the instruments is ok in places but use of delay on a guitar is not transition. Piano sound is import an as well as the use of the sustain pedal. The pureness of a piano note is emphasized by holding it and letting it decay into the next cycle. Short stabs and piano notes make it sound like strikes on a toy piano.Also on the Drums several times they go low in the mix they the sons sounding like a fade but not really. Please on drums and instrumentals it helps to close your eyes and imagine that the band is in front of you then create and choose the proper pans sonically for each drum sound. All sound is not stereo L,R in the same place. When you place guitars and flutes do the same. It helps the listener hear the blend as if it were actually being played . Just because it's canned doesn't mean that you don't have to do a little extra to bring them to life.On the use of effects. Make sure that your reverb times and delay times do not conflict. The distortion guitar and the flute seem to switch places as lead vocal types in this song. The Rock sound is great and the pure tone of the flute is just as powerful, great choices. They are also helped by building an overall ambience for them to set in with the drums and effects.Also listen to fusion artist Jean Luc Ponty I find this reminds me of some of his blends of sounds.Please remember these are production observations from an engineer. If they sound harsh please read my other reviews and also listen to the song as you read my comments.

Quote From Pro: "Great contemplative themes for relaxing and reading or just trying to slow down and chill. Not too complicated as to make you fell assaulted by sounds, notes and confusion but instead a collective direction from and to the same place. Completeness!"

WHEN YOU’RE HERE by frank falgares

frank falgares

Broadjam Artist: frank falgares
Song: WHEN YOU'RE HERE

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Diana Williamson (Songwriter, Music Supervisor)

Pro General Comments: Hi Frank- nice to meet you in cyberspace! Thanks for sending your song in for review.Please note I don't rate individual instrumentation since my expertise lies more in marketability, lyric, melody, and overall performance.You have a really captivating vocal/voice going on here. It has a earnest appeal along with a bit of mystery and rock solid feel. It reminds me of some of our great 80's singers who really rocked the spectrum and they will always be great- even though the styles are changing (who can say for the better or not)- but nevertheless- a powerful rock vocal is always king in my book. Another cool thing about the vocal is it has a familiar ring to it- I put down "Yes" as a similar sound but that isn't quite right- I just can't place it- and I know it will come to me later after I send in this review!You also have some nice guitar parts and backing vocal parts that are really tasty. I think they can be milked A LOT more. "When You're Here" the last line of the chorus, I thought you could almost add a line or two that rises melodically- to create and extend that hook. It's too good of a "feel", a part - to let it end just there.In order for this song to really hit its mark -- I would pay greater attention to having that melodic chorus part - go for broke. For some reason it doesn't feel like it's paying off as much as it should. The music should really rise in the chorus and right now there is a similarity to your various sections which can get repetitive. If you listen to Triumph's "Lay it on the Line" you can see how when their hook comes in- the roof goes off the house- that's what you want to do whenever you can in your songwriting. "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pz26fcmq3S8You have the tools- good production, vocals, guitar work- just make that hook want to grab you by the throat and make us want to sing along.. It's smart that you left the first chorus more acoustic- that way you let your arrangements breathe and kick in. In your lyric- it might be nicer if you get a bit more specific. Give us a few details- right now it could be a lover -it could be someone else. If you said for eg- "Girl- you make me feel alive" or ... something a bit more romantic- it will make your story come more alive. The more you paint a picture the more your audience gets interested.It's usually best to try to keep your lyrics "conversational" that way they don't draw attention to themselves. Read Adele's Grammy winning song of the year's lyrics "Hello" and you will see it reads just like she's talking to an old friend/lover. Lines like "so I search the void that complicates these times"... searching a void- is a bit esoteric- and a bit vague feeling.... Same with "and still anticipate the rain"....You can reel the listener in a bit easier with phrases that are less "talky"- you wouldn't really say I anticipate the rain. Maybe dread the rain or feel the rain... You can really up your hook factor by doing the age old tactic of making every other line pay off with a rhyme. It's easy to do and it works. Some of your lines aren't rhyming as much as they could, it would really help the song- be more catchy.You might want to make your bridge- a bit different sonically- perhaps acapella- or acoustic- a bridge should really take you away to a different place and it feels like it could do so a bit more. You have some great background vocals- why not milk them here?

Quote From Pro: Passionate delivery and feel makes this a great eighties type placement.

WHEN YOU’RE HERE by frank falgares

frank falgares

Broadjam Artist: frank falgares
Song: WHEN YOU'RE HERE

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Diana Williamson (Songwriter, Music Supervisor)

Pro General Comments: Hi Frank- nice to meet you in cyberspace! Thanks for sending your song in for review.Please note I don't rate individual instrumentation since my expertise lies more in marketability, lyric, melody, and overall performance.You have a really captivating vocal/voice going on here. It has a earnest appeal along with a bit of mystery and rock solid feel. It reminds me of some of our great 80's singers who really rocked the spectrum and they will always be great- even though the styles are changing (who can say for the better or not)- but nevertheless- a powerful rock vocal is always king in my book. Another cool thing about the vocal is it has a familiar ring to it- I put down "Yes" as a similar sound but that isn't quite right- I just can't place it- and I know it will come to me later after I send in this review!You also have some nice guitar parts and backing vocal parts that are really tasty. I think they can be milked A LOT more. "When You're Here" the last line of the chorus, I thought you could almost add a line or two that rises melodically- to create and extend that hook. It's too good of a "feel", a part - to let it end just there.In order for this song to really hit its mark -- I would pay greater attention to having that melodic chorus part - go for broke. For some reason it doesn't feel like it's paying off as much as it should. The music should really rise in the chorus and right now there is a similarity to your various sections which can get repetitive. If you listen to Triumph's "Lay it on the Line" you can see how when their hook comes in- the roof goes off the house- that's what you want to do whenever you can in your songwriting. "https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pz26fcmq3S8You have the tools- good production, vocals, guitar work- just make that hook want to grab you by the throat and make us want to sing along.. It's smart that you left the first chorus more acoustic- that way you let your arrangements breathe and kick in. In your lyric- it might be nicer if you get a bit more specific. Give us a few details- right now it could be a lover -it could be someone else. If you said for eg- "Girl- you make me feel alive" or ... something a bit more romantic- it will make your story come more alive. The more you paint a picture the more your audience gets interested.It's usually best to try to keep your lyrics "conversational" that way they don't draw attention to themselves. Read Adele's Grammy winning song of the year's lyrics "Hello" and you will see it reads just like she's talking to an old friend/lover. Lines like "so I search the void that complicates these times"... searching a void- is a bit esoteric- and a bit vague feeling.... Same with "and still anticipate the rain"....You can reel the listener in a bit easier with phrases that are less "talky"- you wouldn't really say I anticipate the rain. Maybe dread the rain or feel the rain... You can really up your hook factor by doing the age old tactic of making every other line pay off with a rhyme. It's easy to do and it works. Some of your lines aren't rhyming as much as they could, it would really help the song- be more catchy.You might want to make your bridge- a bit different sonically- perhaps acapella- or acoustic- a bridge should really take you away to a different place and it feels like it could do so a bit more. You have some great background vocals- why not milk them here?

Quote From Pro: Passionate delivery and feel makes this a great eighties type placement.

Come to me by MoBack

MoBack

Broadjam Artist: MoBack
Song: Come to me

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)

Pro General Comments: Hi Monique, The form above requires that i evaluate the demo but I hear you. I had to pick someone so I picked Lady Gaga as the sounds like artist...she's as good as it gets right now... This isn't at all bad for a home demo. Lyrically this song plays it safe. There's nothing new in the lyric that hasn't already been said before in other songs but in this genre repetition and easy to remember lyrics win out over meaningful and creative lyrics. Bottom line is yes it's generic but it's catchy and memorable. The drum track is key to pop dance...make sure you pay attention to what the current pop dance hits are and try to capture their drum sounds especially the kick drum...overall the work demo gets the song across well...3:53 is within commercial radio time restraints but 3:35 would increase your chances of success...your vocal was a little pitchy on the low notes...try raising the key a half step to give it a little more brightness...melodies are all good...phrasing is good...rhyme is good...When you do a master demo this song will be a good pitch to movies and television libraries as well as indie pop artists around the world...think J-pop and K-pop as well...tempo could be a few more bpm's faster to give it more energy...This is a good start to a commercial pop dance song...I'd prefer a few more images and actions in the lyric but that's subjective.

Quote From Pro: Monique is an up and coming songwriter and producer. I foresee great things in her future. She possesses the musical skill and talent to succeed.

Come to me by MoBack

MoBack

Broadjam Artist: MoBack
Song: Come to me

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)

Pro General Comments: Hi Monique, The form above requires that i evaluate the demo but I hear you. I had to pick someone so I picked Lady Gaga as the sounds like artist...she's as good as it gets right now... This isn't at all bad for a home demo. Lyrically this song plays it safe. There's nothing new in the lyric that hasn't already been said before in other songs but in this genre repetition and easy to remember lyrics win out over meaningful and creative lyrics. Bottom line is yes it's generic but it's catchy and memorable. The drum track is key to pop dance...make sure you pay attention to what the current pop dance hits are and try to capture their drum sounds especially the kick drum...overall the work demo gets the song across well...3:53 is within commercial radio time restraints but 3:35 would increase your chances of success...your vocal was a little pitchy on the low notes...try raising the key a half step to give it a little more brightness...melodies are all good...phrasing is good...rhyme is good...When you do a master demo this song will be a good pitch to movies and television libraries as well as indie pop artists around the world...think J-pop and K-pop as well...tempo could be a few more bpm's faster to give it more energy...This is a good start to a commercial pop dance song...I'd prefer a few more images and actions in the lyric but that's subjective.

Quote From Pro: Monique is an up and coming songwriter and producer. I foresee great things in her future. She possesses the musical skill and talent to succeed.

Revolution by Sandon

Sandon

Broadjam Artist: Sandon
Song: Revolution

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)

Pro General Comments: very unique and unpredictable arrangement...the instrumental was very cinematic with elements of cannon booms and gun fire...this was calculated chaos and it build then exploaded build then exploaded the singing was excellent...i never knew where the song was going...i was swept away in the controlled confusion...it's commercial as well as entertaining. The overall sound of the instruments was awesome and the arrangement weaved the vocals in and out creating a sound tapestry...I loved it.

Quote From Pro: this musical piece offers many places for music supervisors to feature sections in various scenes in movies and television. I believe Sandon has a very original, creative and inspirational mind and has the skills needed to be innovative and successful in today's music market. I would be shocked if this song wasn't signed and placed very soon. Keep up the good work.

Revolution by Sandon

Sandon

Broadjam Artist: Sandon
Song: Revolution

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)

Pro General Comments: very unique and unpredictable arrangement...the instrumental was very cinematic with elements of cannon booms and gun fire...this was calculated chaos and it build then exploaded build then exploaded the singing was excellent...i never knew where the song was going...i was swept away in the controlled confusion...it's commercial as well as entertaining. The overall sound of the instruments was awesome and the arrangement weaved the vocals in and out creating a sound tapestry...I loved it.

Quote From Pro: this musical piece offers many places for music supervisors to feature sections in various scenes in movies and television. I believe Sandon has a very original, creative and inspirational mind and has the skills needed to be innovative and successful in today's music market. I would be shocked if this song wasn't signed and placed very soon. Keep up the good work.