Talk to the Wind by Paul Reidy

Broadjam Artist: Paul ReidySong: Talk to the WindBroadjam Pro Reviewer: Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)Pro General Comments: Hi Paul , it would help to know if you wrote this for yourself to promote and perform or if you wrote it for others …

Paul Reidy

Broadjam Artist: Paul Reidy
Song: Talk to the Wind

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Robert Dellaposta (Writer, A&R, Publisher)

Pro General Comments: Hi Paul , it would help to know if you wrote this for yourself to promote and perform or if you wrote it for others to record. My evaluation would be very different for both. The subject matter suggests to me that this is about a child who is being physically abused by someone in her family. This type of song isn't exactly radio friendly but it can still be an effective song for groups and causes fighting to end child abuse. It's very sad and dark and it will most likely make an emotional connection with everyone who has been personally impacted by child abuse. I give you credit for tackling this very disturbing problem. The prosody is good...the music matches the lyric...the vocal is powerful and with the the strong piano the song gets a little loud in spots. Just my opinion but I felt the piano was competing with your vocal to be heard. This would be a much more effective song with a slightly slower tempo and a more subdued piano accompaniment. I would take out the percussion part and go with a piano/vocal

Quote From Pro: Paul, go ahead and e-mail me both versions along with any lyric changes you made... my3kidsmusic@comcast.net I hope this critique was helpful...if you have any questions include them in your e-mail and I'll respond. Bob

He’s Got A Flame Jessa by SKY HIGH MUSIC LABS

Broadjam Artist: SKY HIGH MUSIC LABSSong: He’s Got A Flame JessaBroadjam Pro Reviewer: Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)Pro General Comments: This is the weakest song of the three you submitted. It’s a bit cliche in its musical approach and the vocalist is…

SKY HIGH MUSIC LABS

Broadjam Artist: SKY HIGH MUSIC LABS
Song: He's Got A Flame Jessa

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)

Pro General Comments: This is the weakest song of the three you submitted. It's a bit cliche in its musical approach and the vocalist is still missing a real emotional engagement to make the lyric and performance memorable. You may want to bring the tempo back just a little to let her really nail this take. It just feels forced as is to me right now. Again, I love that you do fun, tempo songs because those translate live into a good time for the audience. The instruments sound great overall. The mix is close but no cigar, as the vocal needs to sit in it a bit more comfortably. Lyrically this one is a bit awkward, and I wonder if there is a stronger title or clearer way to the hook. The other two songs were crystal clear, strong hooks that left nothing to guess. This one is more uncertain. I think you guys are on to a cool song with a lot of promise, just continue to focus on the clearest, most memorable hooks and really getting the best vocal takes possible since bluegrass demands vocal excellence.

Quote From Pro: Dance-able and fun bluegrass tune that harkens back to some of the tongue-and-cheek vocals of early Dixie Chicks.

Having The Time Of Our Lives by SKY HIGH MUSIC LABS

Broadjam Artist: SKY HIGH MUSIC LABSSong: Having The Time Of Our LivesBroadjam Pro Reviewer: Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)Pro General Comments: I really like that this a positive, uplifting tune. I bet it gets people dancing. I have some of the same co…

SKY HIGH MUSIC LABS

Broadjam Artist: SKY HIGH MUSIC LABS
Song: Having The Time Of Our Lives

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)

Pro General Comments: I really like that this a positive, uplifting tune. I bet it gets people dancing. I have some of the same concerns with this one, however, as your first submission. The vocal is good but not overtly compelling. I really want the vocal to be amazing emotionally and I feel like the singer is giving me a performance rather than a heartfelt take. That may just be a question of the engineering but it's worth really trying to get the best out of this singer because that's simply so important to bluegrass. You have to be top notch to really cut through. The guitar and other instruments sound like they are at that level and I want the singer to be at the top of her game as well. Production could help this by settling the vocal into the mix a bit more carefully and watching the tuning. I like the lyric and the melody, simple and memorable. At first I wasn't exactly sure what was going on lyrically, but in the end I felt as though this was a song about being in the moment and loving life and goodness knows we need more songs about that! Keep up the good work and just keep trying to really get an incredible vocal take that can take you to the next level.

Quote From Pro: A fun, uptempo bluegrass romp that will leave you feeling like you've had the "Time of Your Life" too!

I’ve Known All Along by SKY HIGH MUSIC LABS

Broadjam Artist: SKY HIGH MUSIC LABSSong: I’ve Known All AlongBroadjam Pro Reviewer: Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)Pro General Comments: This is a nice, feel-good bluegrass-leaning country song. I have a feeling it is well liked by audiences. The vocal…

SKY HIGH MUSIC LABS

Broadjam Artist: SKY HIGH MUSIC LABS
Song: I've Known All Along

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Elizabeth Elkins (Songwriter)

Pro General Comments: This is a nice, feel-good bluegrass-leaning country song. I have a feeling it is well liked by audiences. The vocal is good, but not as top notch as some bluegrass singers where the phrasing and pitch is airtight. Harmonies are similar, they are good but not at an A+ game level. However, the feel of the whole song is lovely. I see this as a song for you as an artist more than a song to pitch. I like the storytelling and the hook is memorable, as is the melody, which is infectious and will likely be stuck in my head for awhile. I think a slightly more compelling vocal take would take this from good to great. The production feels really good, though you may want to turn the vocal down slightly to really nail the blend and vibe. This is overall one of the stronger sounding demo I've reviewed on Broadjam so you are certainly headed in the right direction. You're not breaking any new ground musically but you're headed in the right direction. Look for songs that really create a spark and passion in the vocal so the emotion translates to the listener.

Quote From Pro: A rollicking-fun bluegrass song about falling in love. Lovely harmonies and melody will make you smile.

Facebook Addict by Randall Mark

Broadjam Artist: Randall MarkSong: Facebook AddictBroadjam Pro Reviewer: Doug Diamond (Music Supervisor, Engineer, Producer, Composer )Pro General Comments: Hi Randall -Good to hear from you again. Yes, “Facebook Addict” is a unique idea for a song, so…

Randall Mark

Broadjam Artist: Randall Mark
Song: Facebook Addict

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Doug Diamond (Music Supervisor, Engineer, Producer, Composer )

Pro General Comments: Hi Randall -Good to hear from you again. Yes, "Facebook Addict" is a unique idea for a song, so good job there. I mastered a song for a band awhile back called "Facebook Famous" which is I guess the next step after that... once you're addicted and then become really known for it. So people are definitely focusing on the addictive nature that is social media. You've done a good job of capturing that idea in your somewhat humorous / somewhat a-little-too-close-for-comfort lyric for certain folks, where it really has become an addition or problem. Without getting off into a diatribe about addiction or at least people who have those tendencies with just about anything, I do think your song does capture a certain desperation of people who will do or at least consider doing anything to "get that fix". All in all, I do like the concept and feel that it shows promise, however, I'd definitely address a few things before putting this song in more of a final form.The first thing I noticed other than the lyric/idea of the song was that the melody or hook seems almost identical to "Wonder Girl" (or Boy). When this happens, you run the risk of pigeon-holing yourself and your songwriting style. Because people who know your stuff will think (or say) something like: "All of his songs sound the same". You know? Be careful of that. To me, right now, this song's melody/hook are "Wonder Boy" with different lyrics. I'd definitely have a look at that and see what you can do to change the melody itself so that it's not so close to the other song. For instance, if you think of your songs as your kids, you wouldn't want your 2nd kid to look and act just like your first one, right? They're not meant to be twins in this case, I don't think. To me, it's the same song at the moment, but with different lyrics. So that is a fairly major issue... If I hadn't heard "Wonder Boy" first, then I might think the opposite if I'd heard this one first, but right now, to me, they are interchangeable, melodically. Work on that one for sure...My next thoughts are really more about once you've addressed that, then "now what?".If this song had a broader appeal, meaning, more "universal" where everyone could relate to it, I think that would make it much better. Right now, where people might realize they have an addition to FB, they wouldn't compare their use of it to hardcore drug use, stealing, losing their families over it, and some of the other extremes you mention. So, because you're talking about those things in the song, it is sort of funny in a dark sense of the word a kind of black comedy - because this guy is so ridiculously addicted to FB that he'd go to all of these extremes just to satisfy his addiction. Very sad, but kind of stupidly funny if someone did that in real life, which... who knows. However, people don't usually go to that extreme either and those that do have other kinds of serious mental health issues too, not just addiction. So, it's a fine line to walk... keeping it funny without it being over-the-top where no one can really identify with it or making it unbelievable, lyrically. I hope that makes sense. You don't want it to be so ridiculous that the listener thinks not only, "that could never be me", but also you don't want them to think "NO ONE could EVER do that". At that point, it's gone past the point of no return and it doesn't really maintain it's sense of humor - and just becomes unbelievable. It simply MUST have a strong element of truth in it all the way through so that people can really identify with it. Also keep in mind, many people HATE Facebook. Others have never used it. So this song would not be identifiable to those. How can you draw in those people? Just something to keep in mind. Maybe verse one needs to be about his normal life, and then verse two and three can be about how he went from that to giving in completely and giving up everything he loves to get his fix.[MAX CHARACTERS EXCEEDED]

Quote From Pro: "Facebook Addict" is a (sad but) funny story about a guy who has literally given in to his addiction and lost everything he cares about in order to satisfy it. It might be a little too close for comfort for some folks, but it does a good job of capturing the power of addiction and taking it to the extreme of what could be possible within the human psyche.