Music Is My Life by Densyl

Densyl

Broadjam Artist: Densyl
Song: Music Is My Life

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Diana Williamson (Songwriter, Music Supervisor)

Pro General Comments: Dear Densyl:As you know- I don't comment on instrumentation as my expertise lies in overall vision, marketability, lyrics, hooks, etc..This song has a good vibe/feel to it- reminds me for some reason- of some of the ELO Petty type mid tempo songs...( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WJdTIqWXZ8)- this isn't the song I was trying to think of... but in the ballpark... Perhaps a bit of Travelling Willburys- too.You said "he told me he'd be interested in rerecording the song with another singer, new arrangements, lyrics, etc." (this is alot!!!) If I were you, you might want to try and perfect the kinks before deciding on recording. Recording can become expensive. And there are some great online Nashville song demo places- that can deliver a very good acoustic guitar, "country-sounding" vocal for next to nothing, which you may want to consider before diving into a paying recording project with someone.If for eg- this person wanted to become a cowriter with you, helping with lyrics and arrangements- since he thinks it's a hit- and record it for free- and take a percentage- then that might be worth considering- then you just pay 50/50 on a studio singer. The melody here is working pretty solidly and as you mentioned - the person had said- the lyric (needs some work). The lyric right now is a little vague. It's not that clear if this relationship was solid, a passing love affair viewed from a sentimental view of the past... For a listener to really care- they have to have a clear idea of what the two had together. It seems like a passing fancy- "met at the mall".... It seems like the girl has given up and gone away saying "music is your life" and then you're saying "I will always come back to you"- this is confusing. Are they or aren't they together? Be specific. Make us care.Why in the lyric would the woman want to wait? You're still telling her to hang around and wait.. Tell us why she should? Give us a bit more of the story.

Quote From Pro: The song has good possibilities, it has good flow to it.

Music Is My Life by Densyl

Densyl

Broadjam Artist: Densyl
Song: Music Is My Life

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Diana Williamson (Songwriter, Music Supervisor)

Pro General Comments: Dear Densyl:As you know- I don't comment on instrumentation as my expertise lies in overall vision, marketability, lyrics, hooks, etc..This song has a good vibe/feel to it- reminds me for some reason- of some of the ELO Petty type mid tempo songs...( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WJdTIqWXZ8)- this isn't the song I was trying to think of... but in the ballpark... Perhaps a bit of Travelling Willburys- too.You said "he told me he'd be interested in rerecording the song with another singer, new arrangements, lyrics, etc." (this is alot!!!) If I were you, you might want to try and perfect the kinks before deciding on recording. Recording can become expensive. And there are some great online Nashville song demo places- that can deliver a very good acoustic guitar, "country-sounding" vocal for next to nothing, which you may want to consider before diving into a paying recording project with someone.If for eg- this person wanted to become a cowriter with you, helping with lyrics and arrangements- since he thinks it's a hit- and record it for free- and take a percentage- then that might be worth considering- then you just pay 50/50 on a studio singer. The melody here is working pretty solidly and as you mentioned - the person had said- the lyric (needs some work). The lyric right now is a little vague. It's not that clear if this relationship was solid, a passing love affair viewed from a sentimental view of the past... For a listener to really care- they have to have a clear idea of what the two had together. It seems like a passing fancy- "met at the mall".... It seems like the girl has given up and gone away saying "music is your life" and then you're saying "I will always come back to you"- this is confusing. Are they or aren't they together? Be specific. Make us care.Why in the lyric would the woman want to wait? You're still telling her to hang around and wait.. Tell us why she should? Give us a bit more of the story.

Quote From Pro: The song has good possibilities, it has good flow to it.

Unassuming Light by Trinity

Trinity

Broadjam Artist: Trinity
Song: Unassuming Light

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
John Anderson (Publisher)

Pro General Comments: Hello Trinity, apologies for taking a bit long to complete your review. I've listened to Unassuming Light many times now, and it is a track that really grows on you. I very much like the intro. The first ten seconds is a captivating beginning to the song, and consists of a great hook. It reminds me of a lot of Miike Snow, who is an artist that I am extremely fond of. The versus also include a solid melody that immensely pulls you into the song. The chorus isn't exactly defined, yet, it blends well with the song and works. My efforts are focused on Film and TV music placement.I feel that once the song is a finished and completed recording, it will appeal to the Licensing Community at large. Programs such as "This Is Us", and "The Good Doctor" are suitable examples of projects that I would present to the Music Supervisors.

Quote From Pro: Trinity's "Unassuming Light" is a well built demo that has a significant potential to appeal to a wide audience. Bringing in live musicians and a more strong vocalist will better the song substantially. Very well done.

Unassuming Light by Trinity

Trinity

Broadjam Artist: Trinity
Song: Unassuming Light

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
John Anderson (Publisher)

Pro General Comments: Hello Trinity, apologies for taking a bit long to complete your review. I've listened to Unassuming Light many times now, and it is a track that really grows on you. I very much like the intro. The first ten seconds is a captivating beginning to the song, and consists of a great hook. It reminds me of a lot of Miike Snow, who is an artist that I am extremely fond of. The versus also include a solid melody that immensely pulls you into the song. The chorus isn't exactly defined, yet, it blends well with the song and works. My efforts are focused on Film and TV music placement.I feel that once the song is a finished and completed recording, it will appeal to the Licensing Community at large. Programs such as "This Is Us", and "The Good Doctor" are suitable examples of projects that I would present to the Music Supervisors.

Quote From Pro: Trinity's "Unassuming Light" is a well built demo that has a significant potential to appeal to a wide audience. Bringing in live musicians and a more strong vocalist will better the song substantially. Very well done.

Someday by The Guinetones

The Guinetones

Broadjam Artist: The Guinetones
Song: Someday

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Well, the music is as good as I have come to expect from you guys. Again. If this is your band, you guys got it going on. Jake Johnson, your producer, has aces chops.You also have your chorus with a completely different musical figure than the verses. This is what I was talking about in the other two songs, and it is excellent. It doesn't matter as much here as it did in the other two songs, but you're still not using the same template in your verses. I will say again that it is really important for the ear of the listener to hear the verses be almost exact in their size and their rhyme patterns. It's very distracting to the listener's experience when they have to figure out where the verses are and where the chorus is.That is something I would suggest that you make yourself much more aware of in your future writings.Once again, you are repeating words in your verses and trying to do make them work as rhyme words.The first verse is fine, but the second verse has two "see"'s, and two "me"'s. It really is a speedbump in the middle of your song to have that be that way. I would strongly suggest that you fix that.I would also love to see some kind of imagery somewhere explaining what this guy is going through. Or, you could take a look at your own "Artists Submitted Question", and find some family members dealing with demons and addictions that you could tell me about IN THE SONG.You guys have the honor of being the only ones that I have ever done where somebody put something into the "Artists Submitted Question" area that was a very good suggestion for the song. You did that all three times. I am amazed.But this is absolutely the best of the three, in my humble opinion.Keep the faith, keep writing. If you have any comments or questions about any of my evaluations, you can contact me at tirkwilder@gmail.com , and I will get back to you as quickly as I can.

Quote From Pro: Another emotional powerhouse of a song.

Someday by The Guinetones

The Guinetones

Broadjam Artist: The Guinetones
Song: Someday

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Well, the music is as good as I have come to expect from you guys. Again. If this is your band, you guys got it going on. Jake Johnson, your producer, has aces chops.You also have your chorus with a completely different musical figure than the verses. This is what I was talking about in the other two songs, and it is excellent. It doesn't matter as much here as it did in the other two songs, but you're still not using the same template in your verses. I will say again that it is really important for the ear of the listener to hear the verses be almost exact in their size and their rhyme patterns. It's very distracting to the listener's experience when they have to figure out where the verses are and where the chorus is.That is something I would suggest that you make yourself much more aware of in your future writings.Once again, you are repeating words in your verses and trying to do make them work as rhyme words.The first verse is fine, but the second verse has two "see"'s, and two "me"'s. It really is a speedbump in the middle of your song to have that be that way. I would strongly suggest that you fix that.I would also love to see some kind of imagery somewhere explaining what this guy is going through. Or, you could take a look at your own "Artists Submitted Question", and find some family members dealing with demons and addictions that you could tell me about IN THE SONG.You guys have the honor of being the only ones that I have ever done where somebody put something into the "Artists Submitted Question" area that was a very good suggestion for the song. You did that all three times. I am amazed.But this is absolutely the best of the three, in my humble opinion.Keep the faith, keep writing. If you have any comments or questions about any of my evaluations, you can contact me at tirkwilder@gmail.com , and I will get back to you as quickly as I can.

Quote From Pro: Another emotional powerhouse of a song.

Die in Comfort by The Guinetones

The Guinetones

Broadjam Artist: The Guinetones
Song: Die in Comfort

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Once again, excellent musicianship with a very nice feel. Interesting subject also.The first knee-jerk reaction I had to the last line of the chorus, "Die In Comfort tonight" was that there is not a single soul in the world who is going to say that. Nobody wants to die TONIGHT. Unless they have some kind of a debilitating disease and are in a great deal of pain, I can't imagine anybody actually saying that. If you could find some other word at the end of that line, it would be more believable.Here's an example you can use if you'd like. No charge."Kiss my brow and hold my hand and I will know,that I'll die in comfort when I go,"Here's the bottom line.Show me, with imagery, how "it's been a long road and a good long life" for this singer. I don't need "plenty of potholes and bridges and many a heavy load", I need to see pictures of what this guy has gone through. Specific problems that he's had, in detail. Make me identify with him.While you are at it, get yourself a rhyme pattern. In the first verse, you end three different lines with the word "me". Those need to be different words, and they need to rhyme - if that is the pattern that you wish to use. You do it again in the second verse two lines end with the word "me".This would not be acceptable in any publishing house that I have ever been in. That's just the truth.What you are actually doing is reiterating the same information the listener was told in the first verse in the second verse. The second verse needs to be completely different information. It needs to answer one of two questions: "what happens next?" or "what else happened?"The guitar solo, although extremely well played, should be taken out and replaced with a bridge. The bridge should be a 2 to 4 line musical figure different from the verse and the chorus that summarizes everything else in the song.That way, you end up with the song form verse - chorus - verse - chorus - bridge - chorus. That is a very good place for you to be.When one is pitching a song in Nashville, it's a good rule of thumb to remember that there are over 50,000 guitar players in town. No producer, or publisher, is going to be impressed by a guitar solo, no matter how well it's played. They have heard them all. If you are pitching the song to get someone to cover it, they are not in the least bit interested in guitar solos. It's a drag, but it's a fact.As I mentioned in my evaluation of "Friday Night Fights", the chorus needs to have a different melody than the verse. In this song it's almost a straight up repetition.If it's possible, I would even suggest that the chorus be sung an octave higher than the verse. That would take a great range, but it would be worth it. If that's not possible, then change that melody some way so that it's recognizably different from the verses. It's vital.Once again you have made a statement in the "Artists Submitted Question" area that I think would look very good in the song. There is, after all, a "Comfort, Texas". If you could bring that up in the first verse that that is where the action in this song is happening, it would be a great, great twist on the hook.This is a good idea. I haven't heard anything quite like it before. You just have to get down on these lyrics and clean them up.I believe that it is something that you are more than capable of.

Quote From Pro: These folks go for the emotional jugular in this song.

Die in Comfort by The Guinetones

The Guinetones

Broadjam Artist: The Guinetones
Song: Die in Comfort

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Once again, excellent musicianship with a very nice feel. Interesting subject also.The first knee-jerk reaction I had to the last line of the chorus, "Die In Comfort tonight" was that there is not a single soul in the world who is going to say that. Nobody wants to die TONIGHT. Unless they have some kind of a debilitating disease and are in a great deal of pain, I can't imagine anybody actually saying that. If you could find some other word at the end of that line, it would be more believable.Here's an example you can use if you'd like. No charge."Kiss my brow and hold my hand and I will know,that I'll die in comfort when I go,"Here's the bottom line.Show me, with imagery, how "it's been a long road and a good long life" for this singer. I don't need "plenty of potholes and bridges and many a heavy load", I need to see pictures of what this guy has gone through. Specific problems that he's had, in detail. Make me identify with him.While you are at it, get yourself a rhyme pattern. In the first verse, you end three different lines with the word "me". Those need to be different words, and they need to rhyme - if that is the pattern that you wish to use. You do it again in the second verse two lines end with the word "me".This would not be acceptable in any publishing house that I have ever been in. That's just the truth.What you are actually doing is reiterating the same information the listener was told in the first verse in the second verse. The second verse needs to be completely different information. It needs to answer one of two questions: "what happens next?" or "what else happened?"The guitar solo, although extremely well played, should be taken out and replaced with a bridge. The bridge should be a 2 to 4 line musical figure different from the verse and the chorus that summarizes everything else in the song.That way, you end up with the song form verse - chorus - verse - chorus - bridge - chorus. That is a very good place for you to be.When one is pitching a song in Nashville, it's a good rule of thumb to remember that there are over 50,000 guitar players in town. No producer, or publisher, is going to be impressed by a guitar solo, no matter how well it's played. They have heard them all. If you are pitching the song to get someone to cover it, they are not in the least bit interested in guitar solos. It's a drag, but it's a fact.As I mentioned in my evaluation of "Friday Night Fights", the chorus needs to have a different melody than the verse. In this song it's almost a straight up repetition.If it's possible, I would even suggest that the chorus be sung an octave higher than the verse. That would take a great range, but it would be worth it. If that's not possible, then change that melody some way so that it's recognizably different from the verses. It's vital.Once again you have made a statement in the "Artists Submitted Question" area that I think would look very good in the song. There is, after all, a "Comfort, Texas". If you could bring that up in the first verse that that is where the action in this song is happening, it would be a great, great twist on the hook.This is a good idea. I haven't heard anything quite like it before. You just have to get down on these lyrics and clean them up.I believe that it is something that you are more than capable of.

Quote From Pro: These folks go for the emotional jugular in this song.

Friday Night Fights by The Guinetones

The Guinetones

Broadjam Artist: The Guinetones
Song: Friday Night Fights

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Let me begin by saying that I am sorry that it took so long to get these reviews to you. I have recently moved, and Broadjam.com did not have my new email address. Therefore I missed their notification that your songs were in the queue.If "The Guinetones" is an actual band, and the instruments being played are by that band, you have a very tight sound. The musicianship is excellent. Jake Johnson did a very good job of production. It is refreshing to hear a well-played, well produced song.There are hundreds of publishing companies in Nashville. The big ones have staff writers. These people show up on Monday morning and write all day long. They are paid a draw on royalties the publishing company believes they have a possibility of earning. Sometimes as little as $300 a week.When a name artist is looking for material, he only goes to the biggest of the publishing companies. If you are an independent and you send them an MP3 or a link, chances are very good it will be going to the circular cyberfile, and you will get a very nice rejection email if you hear from them at all. Right now, "Bro' Country" is still big in the radio airplay rotation.This does not mean that cuts cannot be gotten. If you can start getting yourself cut by independent artists, you can make a pretty good living at it. There is also the television and movie market that is always hungry for new songs. And don't forget the international market. That is really growing.The best thing I can tell you is that you don't have to set your sights on getting your song "picked up by recording artists or producers". It can happen, but it is extremely rare for an independent to get anything on major radio these days.As an exception to the rule, there was a song called "Buy Me A Rose" that was cut by Kenny Rogers. I believe that cut came from Broadjam.com. It is possible.But NOT likely.As to this song, "Friday Night Lights", the background music is excellent. The feel and the beat are very catchy.It is risky to open a song with a chorus. When you do that, you are giving away the entire point of your song right at the very beginning. There are no surprises for the listener to hear later on in the song, and they probably won't listen much past the first line of the verse.Secondly, your chorus needs to be enough different in its melody that the casual listener can detect, almost subconsciously, that that is where the payoff for his listening to your song is going to be. You do this quite well in your song "Someday", but it is problematic in this song and in "Die In Comfort".A big-name producer, Dan Huff, was once quoted as saying that the chorus should "soar". In "Friday Night Lights", I would suggest a complete rewrite. I believe your second verse would be good if it were moved up to the front. "It's become so clear that you can't hear, I never even said that (continued in "Artist's Submitted Questions")

Quote From Pro: Great Roots Feel!

Friday Night Fights by The Guinetones

The Guinetones

Broadjam Artist: The Guinetones
Song: Friday Night Fights

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Let me begin by saying that I am sorry that it took so long to get these reviews to you. I have recently moved, and Broadjam.com did not have my new email address. Therefore I missed their notification that your songs were in the queue.If "The Guinetones" is an actual band, and the instruments being played are by that band, you have a very tight sound. The musicianship is excellent. Jake Johnson did a very good job of production. It is refreshing to hear a well-played, well produced song.There are hundreds of publishing companies in Nashville. The big ones have staff writers. These people show up on Monday morning and write all day long. They are paid a draw on royalties the publishing company believes they have a possibility of earning. Sometimes as little as $300 a week.When a name artist is looking for material, he only goes to the biggest of the publishing companies. If you are an independent and you send them an MP3 or a link, chances are very good it will be going to the circular cyberfile, and you will get a very nice rejection email if you hear from them at all. Right now, "Bro' Country" is still big in the radio airplay rotation.This does not mean that cuts cannot be gotten. If you can start getting yourself cut by independent artists, you can make a pretty good living at it. There is also the television and movie market that is always hungry for new songs. And don't forget the international market. That is really growing.The best thing I can tell you is that you don't have to set your sights on getting your song "picked up by recording artists or producers". It can happen, but it is extremely rare for an independent to get anything on major radio these days.As an exception to the rule, there was a song called "Buy Me A Rose" that was cut by Kenny Rogers. I believe that cut came from Broadjam.com. It is possible.But NOT likely.As to this song, "Friday Night Lights", the background music is excellent. The feel and the beat are very catchy.It is risky to open a song with a chorus. When you do that, you are giving away the entire point of your song right at the very beginning. There are no surprises for the listener to hear later on in the song, and they probably won't listen much past the first line of the verse.Secondly, your chorus needs to be enough different in its melody that the casual listener can detect, almost subconsciously, that that is where the payoff for his listening to your song is going to be. You do this quite well in your song "Someday", but it is problematic in this song and in "Die In Comfort".A big-name producer, Dan Huff, was once quoted as saying that the chorus should "soar". In "Friday Night Lights", I would suggest a complete rewrite. I believe your second verse would be good if it were moved up to the front. "It's become so clear that you can't hear, I never even said that (continued in "Artist's Submitted Questions")

Quote From Pro: Great Roots Feel!