Broadjam Artist: MoBack
Song: Set me free - Basic Home Recording
Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Diana Williamson (Songwriter, Music Supervisor)
Pro General Comments: Please note I don't rate individual instrumentation since my expertise lies more in marketability, lyric, melody, and overall performance.Hi Mo Back: It's great you know how to demo up your song basics. You get across the vibe of your song very well which is a great to be able to hand to a producer. It also portrays the energy that you are conjuring up as well. You might be able to push the tempo and make it a bit faster- to add a bit more energy.It's always good to experiment and come up with interesting angles such as the phone machine which sets the tone of the piece. Nice touch.This demo needs polish on the vocal track- you would need someone who can really help you make your vocal stand out, be aware of pitch and generate a great vibe. Since you already indicated it's just a demo I'm sure you realize that this sounds like a "rough" and hopefully you can find someone to work with that brings out this strength, attitude and polish in a final vocal. It needs fine tuning to really make it shine.The other area that I would suggest you find someone to help you fine tune your lyrics which in places seem a bit strange in English- certain phrases that we wouldn't really say in English -such as: "Now it's too late to recall"- might be better such as "Now - it's too late to turn back".....Other things in lyrics that is always good is to be specific- give us some details- "You gave me the sign, that you'd no longer be mine".... What was the sign? Details add interest and draw your listener in. For eg- you could say something like- "You never look me in the eye- or "You're drifting away", etc.. Things that suggest that it's over.... These kind of details make your song have more depth and be more interesting.You always have to search for ways to make a lyric "fresh" -something no one's ever said before. This isn't easy. Let us know how/why it ended as well to make us care. Otherwise we just think the person was a jerk and we don't really care. But if you say- "You were my best friend".... We feel for the singer. She lost something of value.Give us the who/what/why/when and where. It's good to have a "strong woman" stance in songs nowadays. She's moving on- this is good- she's not sitting around crying. However saying "I'm special being loved by someone else"- sounds like the singer is getting her own self worth by being loved. Instead it would be stronger if she said something more along the lines of - "Someone else realizes I'm special, too bad you didn't- you're missing out"..... So she's basically showing the person who left her- that she's already special- and it's too bad- but someone else can see it. This would be stronger.It's good that your story progresses and she is now with someone new. It's always good to have the story move along and change by the end.Listeners want to identify with a strong role model. So there are just some lyric tweaks that someone else might be able to help you with -to fine tune everything.Try to work as many rhymes as you can into your hook.But good work- you have a nice beginning of a song. You have good instincts. Good luck with it!
Quote From Pro: Mo Back has good musical instincts and energy- can't wait to see what she comes up with next.
Broadjam Artist: MoBack