Take My Advice by One More River Music

One More River Music

Broadjam Artist: One More River Music
Song: Take My Advice

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Diana Williamson (Songwriter, Music Supervisor)

Pro General Comments: Dear Sergio from Kleinburg- ha ha- where is the contact button on your site- to contact you direct? Try emailing me again- it's been very hectic and I can't seem to find it.As usual- Please be advised that I don't comment on individual instrumentation as my forte is more in the overall picture- lyrics, melody, arrangements and marketing.The word appalling sounds like a convenient rhyme- songs usually do best with everyday speech- not something that feels tacked on. Some of the lyrics here have a feel that they are mostly too easy rhymes- "quick as a flash/make a mad dash"- appalling/calling, what she's like, took a hike. You want to use phrases that you would use when talking to a friend- more or less- so they have that natural flow to them. Be careful of this. For eg "give her the news" isn't something you would really say to a friend.Vocal sounds a bit sing song-ey- versus the subject matter which could be a bit more angst ridden concerning the topic. This singer isn't selling me this song. I am too aware of his vocal instead of what he's saying. You might want to look for a richer bluesy voice- one that has more color. You don't have to be too clever in a blues song- sometimes its just about the singer - saying he's hurting- is enough. But that voice has to draw us in immediately. Maybe study some Robert Cray for ideas?- he deals with those subjects but also has a catchiness to his work that some blues don't always have. Eg- https://youtu.be/2gQEDwjhaDE?list=PLUmnnNR3rRsR2vdw9b765Jow6ZgICtqL-

Quote From Pro: Sergio Simone's songs tell stories from the heart.

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