Broadjam Artist: Hugo Bass
Song: Alpha Dancer (Remix)
Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Diana Williamson (Songwriter, Music Supervisor)
Pro General Comments: Please note I don't rate individual instrumentation since my expertise lies more in marketability, lyric, melody, and overall performance.Hi there, Hugo. First off you have a winning attitude. I always encourage people to give me truth and can't stand anyone who says they like something then secretly hates it. My one cardinal rule is to tell the truth- because that's how everyone LEARNS and gets better! The fact that you ask for the brutal truth is a feather in your cap! Of course you have to be careful who you listen to and disregard people with unworthy intentions. You are only going to grow and that's how you perfect your craft. So that is major step one.The good news is you have a great handle on this type of writing. You lured me in immediately with the intro and vibe. The song has a very cool vibe to it. The instrumentation and arrangement has a tasteful flavor that is easy on the ears.One of the easiest and overlooked things to fix is to always try to have a title with an emotional lure to it. Something that everyone immediately gets curious about. Alpha Dancer is interesting but could be more interesting. I'm left wondering what it means. For eg "Dancing in the Moonlight" suggests a midnight rendevous- so we're wondering "who" are the lovers- something relating to our own emotional experiences. So if it was something like "Dancing into Love" it makes it more personal for the listener because they can relate to it. Something to keep in mind.Great opening- nice feel. Nice choice of vocalist. Interesting vocal effect part round 48 & 2:48, some sonic bells and whistles give the track a fun feel.When verse comes in you might want to add a little more ear candy- you want it to build a little more rapidly. The vocal is mixed a little low in places so I can't really make out the lyrics. Lyrics are important so make sure we can hear them.When getting reviews- be sure to include them so you can get feedback on them.It seems that perhaps the rhymes may be a little forced (but since I can't really hear the words- a clearer mix would help- ) I can't say for sure- but humanity /sanity and dominant/prominent seem a bit awkward. The general rule is to keep lyrics conversational so they have a good flow to them. Prominent and humanity may be a bit formal for a song. Be careful on this.Lyric comes out off the top a little preachy- be very careful with this- big words such as "humanity" can scare someone off. Today's society is all about instant gratification - so if you want to say something important- you have to lure them into it. Music is escape for most people so you have to deliver escapism and then add something deep in a fun way so they don't realize they are being preached to. It's very hard to talk about issues without coming off preachy- it's a fine line. You don't want to alienate your listener.I can't seem to follow lyrical story. Part of it is the mix buries some of the words but I think also that the lyric may need a bit of going over. Make sure it progresses from the beginning and evolves. I like what you seem to be trying to do- (your intent) but it feels a bit confusing- as mentioned- when you keep it conversational versus overly poetic- it feels natural to the listener and flows.
Quote From Pro: Track has beautiful feel and suggests writer would be good at crafting commercials and scores.
Broadjam Artist: Hugo Bass