Broadjam Artist: matt taylor
Song: It Doesn't Matter Now Kmix3
Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)
Pro General Comments: Okay, Matt,Just to be right up front, I really like your stuff. The music is great, I love the feel. Shows unlimited potential. REALLY.Also, to be a up front, I have written a song called "As If It Matters", which my co-writer and I have been considering changing to "It Doesn't Matter". This is to give you a heads up on the title. I didn't steal it from you, I stole it from someone else many years ago. (Joke!)The bad news is that the better I like your stuff, the harder I have to be on you. Because you are cruising around the rim of writing an unforgettable, I'm going to have to give you some SEROUS criticism to get you there. Note: CL=Casual Listener. This is someone who doesn't know you, someone who's never HEARD of you, who is hearing your song for the first time. It is his/her perception that is most important to you, the songwriter. Your lyrics show flashes of brilliance. There is an almost poetic feel to your conversation. But you are still making rookie mistakes.You are saying pretty much the same thing in all your verses, just with a different set of words. It's all to express the ennui. Yet you don't have a set of circumstances you have shown the CL to cause the CL to care, especially after you've told him/her your feelings in the first verse.You should REALLY consider giving the CL some specific information about why you feel the way this song says you do. If not in the first verse (I would strive to get it in there somehow, maybe a few IMAGES?) then at least have the second verse dedicated to it.So you have to make the CL listen and become involved in your CHORUS. Let's take a look.but it doesn't matter now [I like the sound and the feel of the way you did the hook here]with all the time that's past [but I'm none too crazy about THIS lyric. It's a serious clich, right where you can't have a clich (in the chorus). The CL doesn't know what happened to cause this ennui, so can't possibly identify the amount of time that's PASSED (note spelling), or what that MEANS---hence, the CL is not getting involved emotionally.]It doesn't matter now [Still like the hook here. Kinda sorta background]those dreams were never meant to last [WHAT? How 80's. You can do better than THIS, Matt.]It doesn't matter now [I'll still believe the hook here, but you MIGHT be able to come up with something just to change up the flow the third time around ("Lives are scattered now", for example)]It's all working out for the best with all that life has put me thru it's put me to the test [This is garbage. You're using "it's working out", which is an utterly meaningless clich, in about three different places in this song. And EVERYBODY's life has put them to the test. Cliches. Poisonous].Continued in Artist's Question section
Quote From Pro: This guy has universal potential. Like, NO doubt.
Broadjam Artist: matt taylor