Someday by The Guinetones

The Guinetones

Broadjam Artist: The Guinetones
Song: Someday

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Well, the music is as good as I have come to expect from you guys. Again. If this is your band, you guys got it going on. Jake Johnson, your producer, has aces chops.You also have your chorus with a completely different musical figure than the verses. This is what I was talking about in the other two songs, and it is excellent. It doesn't matter as much here as it did in the other two songs, but you're still not using the same template in your verses. I will say again that it is really important for the ear of the listener to hear the verses be almost exact in their size and their rhyme patterns. It's very distracting to the listener's experience when they have to figure out where the verses are and where the chorus is.That is something I would suggest that you make yourself much more aware of in your future writings.Once again, you are repeating words in your verses and trying to do make them work as rhyme words.The first verse is fine, but the second verse has two "see"'s, and two "me"'s. It really is a speedbump in the middle of your song to have that be that way. I would strongly suggest that you fix that.I would also love to see some kind of imagery somewhere explaining what this guy is going through. Or, you could take a look at your own "Artists Submitted Question", and find some family members dealing with demons and addictions that you could tell me about IN THE SONG.You guys have the honor of being the only ones that I have ever done where somebody put something into the "Artists Submitted Question" area that was a very good suggestion for the song. You did that all three times. I am amazed.But this is absolutely the best of the three, in my humble opinion.Keep the faith, keep writing. If you have any comments or questions about any of my evaluations, you can contact me at tirkwilder@gmail.com , and I will get back to you as quickly as I can.

Quote From Pro: Another emotional powerhouse of a song.

Someday by The Guinetones

The Guinetones

Broadjam Artist: The Guinetones
Song: Someday

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Well, the music is as good as I have come to expect from you guys. Again. If this is your band, you guys got it going on. Jake Johnson, your producer, has aces chops.You also have your chorus with a completely different musical figure than the verses. This is what I was talking about in the other two songs, and it is excellent. It doesn't matter as much here as it did in the other two songs, but you're still not using the same template in your verses. I will say again that it is really important for the ear of the listener to hear the verses be almost exact in their size and their rhyme patterns. It's very distracting to the listener's experience when they have to figure out where the verses are and where the chorus is.That is something I would suggest that you make yourself much more aware of in your future writings.Once again, you are repeating words in your verses and trying to do make them work as rhyme words.The first verse is fine, but the second verse has two "see"'s, and two "me"'s. It really is a speedbump in the middle of your song to have that be that way. I would strongly suggest that you fix that.I would also love to see some kind of imagery somewhere explaining what this guy is going through. Or, you could take a look at your own "Artists Submitted Question", and find some family members dealing with demons and addictions that you could tell me about IN THE SONG.You guys have the honor of being the only ones that I have ever done where somebody put something into the "Artists Submitted Question" area that was a very good suggestion for the song. You did that all three times. I am amazed.But this is absolutely the best of the three, in my humble opinion.Keep the faith, keep writing. If you have any comments or questions about any of my evaluations, you can contact me at tirkwilder@gmail.com , and I will get back to you as quickly as I can.

Quote From Pro: Another emotional powerhouse of a song.

Die in Comfort by The Guinetones

The Guinetones

Broadjam Artist: The Guinetones
Song: Die in Comfort

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Once again, excellent musicianship with a very nice feel. Interesting subject also.The first knee-jerk reaction I had to the last line of the chorus, "Die In Comfort tonight" was that there is not a single soul in the world who is going to say that. Nobody wants to die TONIGHT. Unless they have some kind of a debilitating disease and are in a great deal of pain, I can't imagine anybody actually saying that. If you could find some other word at the end of that line, it would be more believable.Here's an example you can use if you'd like. No charge."Kiss my brow and hold my hand and I will know,that I'll die in comfort when I go,"Here's the bottom line.Show me, with imagery, how "it's been a long road and a good long life" for this singer. I don't need "plenty of potholes and bridges and many a heavy load", I need to see pictures of what this guy has gone through. Specific problems that he's had, in detail. Make me identify with him.While you are at it, get yourself a rhyme pattern. In the first verse, you end three different lines with the word "me". Those need to be different words, and they need to rhyme - if that is the pattern that you wish to use. You do it again in the second verse two lines end with the word "me".This would not be acceptable in any publishing house that I have ever been in. That's just the truth.What you are actually doing is reiterating the same information the listener was told in the first verse in the second verse. The second verse needs to be completely different information. It needs to answer one of two questions: "what happens next?" or "what else happened?"The guitar solo, although extremely well played, should be taken out and replaced with a bridge. The bridge should be a 2 to 4 line musical figure different from the verse and the chorus that summarizes everything else in the song.That way, you end up with the song form verse - chorus - verse - chorus - bridge - chorus. That is a very good place for you to be.When one is pitching a song in Nashville, it's a good rule of thumb to remember that there are over 50,000 guitar players in town. No producer, or publisher, is going to be impressed by a guitar solo, no matter how well it's played. They have heard them all. If you are pitching the song to get someone to cover it, they are not in the least bit interested in guitar solos. It's a drag, but it's a fact.As I mentioned in my evaluation of "Friday Night Fights", the chorus needs to have a different melody than the verse. In this song it's almost a straight up repetition.If it's possible, I would even suggest that the chorus be sung an octave higher than the verse. That would take a great range, but it would be worth it. If that's not possible, then change that melody some way so that it's recognizably different from the verses. It's vital.Once again you have made a statement in the "Artists Submitted Question" area that I think would look very good in the song. There is, after all, a "Comfort, Texas". If you could bring that up in the first verse that that is where the action in this song is happening, it would be a great, great twist on the hook.This is a good idea. I haven't heard anything quite like it before. You just have to get down on these lyrics and clean them up.I believe that it is something that you are more than capable of.

Quote From Pro: These folks go for the emotional jugular in this song.

Die in Comfort by The Guinetones

The Guinetones

Broadjam Artist: The Guinetones
Song: Die in Comfort

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Once again, excellent musicianship with a very nice feel. Interesting subject also.The first knee-jerk reaction I had to the last line of the chorus, "Die In Comfort tonight" was that there is not a single soul in the world who is going to say that. Nobody wants to die TONIGHT. Unless they have some kind of a debilitating disease and are in a great deal of pain, I can't imagine anybody actually saying that. If you could find some other word at the end of that line, it would be more believable.Here's an example you can use if you'd like. No charge."Kiss my brow and hold my hand and I will know,that I'll die in comfort when I go,"Here's the bottom line.Show me, with imagery, how "it's been a long road and a good long life" for this singer. I don't need "plenty of potholes and bridges and many a heavy load", I need to see pictures of what this guy has gone through. Specific problems that he's had, in detail. Make me identify with him.While you are at it, get yourself a rhyme pattern. In the first verse, you end three different lines with the word "me". Those need to be different words, and they need to rhyme - if that is the pattern that you wish to use. You do it again in the second verse two lines end with the word "me".This would not be acceptable in any publishing house that I have ever been in. That's just the truth.What you are actually doing is reiterating the same information the listener was told in the first verse in the second verse. The second verse needs to be completely different information. It needs to answer one of two questions: "what happens next?" or "what else happened?"The guitar solo, although extremely well played, should be taken out and replaced with a bridge. The bridge should be a 2 to 4 line musical figure different from the verse and the chorus that summarizes everything else in the song.That way, you end up with the song form verse - chorus - verse - chorus - bridge - chorus. That is a very good place for you to be.When one is pitching a song in Nashville, it's a good rule of thumb to remember that there are over 50,000 guitar players in town. No producer, or publisher, is going to be impressed by a guitar solo, no matter how well it's played. They have heard them all. If you are pitching the song to get someone to cover it, they are not in the least bit interested in guitar solos. It's a drag, but it's a fact.As I mentioned in my evaluation of "Friday Night Fights", the chorus needs to have a different melody than the verse. In this song it's almost a straight up repetition.If it's possible, I would even suggest that the chorus be sung an octave higher than the verse. That would take a great range, but it would be worth it. If that's not possible, then change that melody some way so that it's recognizably different from the verses. It's vital.Once again you have made a statement in the "Artists Submitted Question" area that I think would look very good in the song. There is, after all, a "Comfort, Texas". If you could bring that up in the first verse that that is where the action in this song is happening, it would be a great, great twist on the hook.This is a good idea. I haven't heard anything quite like it before. You just have to get down on these lyrics and clean them up.I believe that it is something that you are more than capable of.

Quote From Pro: These folks go for the emotional jugular in this song.

Friday Night Fights by The Guinetones

The Guinetones

Broadjam Artist: The Guinetones
Song: Friday Night Fights

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Let me begin by saying that I am sorry that it took so long to get these reviews to you. I have recently moved, and Broadjam.com did not have my new email address. Therefore I missed their notification that your songs were in the queue.If "The Guinetones" is an actual band, and the instruments being played are by that band, you have a very tight sound. The musicianship is excellent. Jake Johnson did a very good job of production. It is refreshing to hear a well-played, well produced song.There are hundreds of publishing companies in Nashville. The big ones have staff writers. These people show up on Monday morning and write all day long. They are paid a draw on royalties the publishing company believes they have a possibility of earning. Sometimes as little as $300 a week.When a name artist is looking for material, he only goes to the biggest of the publishing companies. If you are an independent and you send them an MP3 or a link, chances are very good it will be going to the circular cyberfile, and you will get a very nice rejection email if you hear from them at all. Right now, "Bro' Country" is still big in the radio airplay rotation.This does not mean that cuts cannot be gotten. If you can start getting yourself cut by independent artists, you can make a pretty good living at it. There is also the television and movie market that is always hungry for new songs. And don't forget the international market. That is really growing.The best thing I can tell you is that you don't have to set your sights on getting your song "picked up by recording artists or producers". It can happen, but it is extremely rare for an independent to get anything on major radio these days.As an exception to the rule, there was a song called "Buy Me A Rose" that was cut by Kenny Rogers. I believe that cut came from Broadjam.com. It is possible.But NOT likely.As to this song, "Friday Night Lights", the background music is excellent. The feel and the beat are very catchy.It is risky to open a song with a chorus. When you do that, you are giving away the entire point of your song right at the very beginning. There are no surprises for the listener to hear later on in the song, and they probably won't listen much past the first line of the verse.Secondly, your chorus needs to be enough different in its melody that the casual listener can detect, almost subconsciously, that that is where the payoff for his listening to your song is going to be. You do this quite well in your song "Someday", but it is problematic in this song and in "Die In Comfort".A big-name producer, Dan Huff, was once quoted as saying that the chorus should "soar". In "Friday Night Lights", I would suggest a complete rewrite. I believe your second verse would be good if it were moved up to the front. "It's become so clear that you can't hear, I never even said that (continued in "Artist's Submitted Questions")

Quote From Pro: Great Roots Feel!

Friday Night Fights by The Guinetones

The Guinetones

Broadjam Artist: The Guinetones
Song: Friday Night Fights

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Tirk Wilder (Songwriter, Performer)

Pro General Comments: Let me begin by saying that I am sorry that it took so long to get these reviews to you. I have recently moved, and Broadjam.com did not have my new email address. Therefore I missed their notification that your songs were in the queue.If "The Guinetones" is an actual band, and the instruments being played are by that band, you have a very tight sound. The musicianship is excellent. Jake Johnson did a very good job of production. It is refreshing to hear a well-played, well produced song.There are hundreds of publishing companies in Nashville. The big ones have staff writers. These people show up on Monday morning and write all day long. They are paid a draw on royalties the publishing company believes they have a possibility of earning. Sometimes as little as $300 a week.When a name artist is looking for material, he only goes to the biggest of the publishing companies. If you are an independent and you send them an MP3 or a link, chances are very good it will be going to the circular cyberfile, and you will get a very nice rejection email if you hear from them at all. Right now, "Bro' Country" is still big in the radio airplay rotation.This does not mean that cuts cannot be gotten. If you can start getting yourself cut by independent artists, you can make a pretty good living at it. There is also the television and movie market that is always hungry for new songs. And don't forget the international market. That is really growing.The best thing I can tell you is that you don't have to set your sights on getting your song "picked up by recording artists or producers". It can happen, but it is extremely rare for an independent to get anything on major radio these days.As an exception to the rule, there was a song called "Buy Me A Rose" that was cut by Kenny Rogers. I believe that cut came from Broadjam.com. It is possible.But NOT likely.As to this song, "Friday Night Lights", the background music is excellent. The feel and the beat are very catchy.It is risky to open a song with a chorus. When you do that, you are giving away the entire point of your song right at the very beginning. There are no surprises for the listener to hear later on in the song, and they probably won't listen much past the first line of the verse.Secondly, your chorus needs to be enough different in its melody that the casual listener can detect, almost subconsciously, that that is where the payoff for his listening to your song is going to be. You do this quite well in your song "Someday", but it is problematic in this song and in "Die In Comfort".A big-name producer, Dan Huff, was once quoted as saying that the chorus should "soar". In "Friday Night Lights", I would suggest a complete rewrite. I believe your second verse would be good if it were moved up to the front. "It's become so clear that you can't hear, I never even said that (continued in "Artist's Submitted Questions")

Quote From Pro: Great Roots Feel!

Still The Rain Don’t Come by Densyl

Densyl

Broadjam Artist: Densyl
Song: Still The Rain Don't Come

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Diana Williamson (Songwriter, Music Supervisor)

Pro General Comments: Hi Densyl!I actually have become a big country fan!Song has a great feel. Great title too- it makes a person wonder. You always want to draw in your listener and make them wonder. Also it has a visual in it which is always good. Gives it dimension.I like the vocal in fact it sounds like one of my best friends. It almost sounds a bit low for the singer sometimes. It is very distinctive so people will either love it or not. Personally I love a lot of character in a vocal and the grist in the tone. I always feel that certain indie movies really love this type of unorthodox stuff - it gives them a lot more oomph than the regular type pop radio.In places it feels a bit like the singer could "sing" the words a bit more versus speaking them - or trying to fit them in somehow..Just a tad smoother. I think the song works nicely for the artist - especially live it would be great. If you wanted to pitch it for another artist- it would need tweaks suggested throughout. However- that is why I mentioned indie films, they don't necessarily need the standard formulas. Just read the lyrics. EXCELLENT!!! WOW. Not everyday I come across such poetic VISUAL lyrics. These are really great. You started nice- setting up the story and letting it evolve. "There's dust in my eyes and it's hurting like hell" - you paint the picture so vividly for the listener. This is a great knack- not always easy to do. And then to end it "and still the rain don't come." Wow. Heavy duty...great.These lyrics are truly evocative. The only thing I can think of to make them just a tad better would be to give us a hint of "what caused their split?" People stay together in hard times.... Was she a social climber, was the singer lost when he should have been better, something- some red flag in the story that would hint about why she left. This would give the song a final touch- a stronger dimension to the story. Perhaps in a bridge part? To take the song to a new place for a minute and give us this pay-off.. (eg- no use saying what coulda been, my little church girl, said we were living in sin, shoulda married her, and given her my ring.... ) you get the idea..-some kinda idea..of why... This idea is probably too specific- cause you have a nice vagueness here, which you might not want to ruin- perhaps something more subtle.. It's just to give you the idea.

Quote From Pro: Artist paints an evocative picture in a masterful way.

Still The Rain Don’t Come by Densyl

Densyl

Broadjam Artist: Densyl
Song: Still The Rain Don't Come

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Diana Williamson (Songwriter, Music Supervisor)

Pro General Comments: Hi Densyl!I actually have become a big country fan!Song has a great feel. Great title too- it makes a person wonder. You always want to draw in your listener and make them wonder. Also it has a visual in it which is always good. Gives it dimension.I like the vocal in fact it sounds like one of my best friends. It almost sounds a bit low for the singer sometimes. It is very distinctive so people will either love it or not. Personally I love a lot of character in a vocal and the grist in the tone. I always feel that certain indie movies really love this type of unorthodox stuff - it gives them a lot more oomph than the regular type pop radio.In places it feels a bit like the singer could "sing" the words a bit more versus speaking them - or trying to fit them in somehow..Just a tad smoother. I think the song works nicely for the artist - especially live it would be great. If you wanted to pitch it for another artist- it would need tweaks suggested throughout. However- that is why I mentioned indie films, they don't necessarily need the standard formulas. Just read the lyrics. EXCELLENT!!! WOW. Not everyday I come across such poetic VISUAL lyrics. These are really great. You started nice- setting up the story and letting it evolve. "There's dust in my eyes and it's hurting like hell" - you paint the picture so vividly for the listener. This is a great knack- not always easy to do. And then to end it "and still the rain don't come." Wow. Heavy duty...great.These lyrics are truly evocative. The only thing I can think of to make them just a tad better would be to give us a hint of "what caused their split?" People stay together in hard times.... Was she a social climber, was the singer lost when he should have been better, something- some red flag in the story that would hint about why she left. This would give the song a final touch- a stronger dimension to the story. Perhaps in a bridge part? To take the song to a new place for a minute and give us this pay-off.. (eg- no use saying what coulda been, my little church girl, said we were living in sin, shoulda married her, and given her my ring.... ) you get the idea..-some kinda idea..of why... This idea is probably too specific- cause you have a nice vagueness here, which you might not want to ruin- perhaps something more subtle.. It's just to give you the idea.

Quote From Pro: Artist paints an evocative picture in a masterful way.

Fake by MITSH

MITSH

Broadjam Artist: MITSH
Song: Fake

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Diana Williamson (Songwriter, Music Supervisor)

Pro General Comments: Please note I don't rate individual instrumentation since my expertise lies more in marketability, lyric, melody, and overall performance.Song has good energy and attitude. It moves along nicely. There are no dead moments. Verses are kinda spoken- which for some reason reminds me of some of the Cure's hits. See how they build the arrangements and add dynamics...They may be good for you to study to get some ideas.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Dhn_iIQXDEGood build to chorus which is important. Your hook stands out which is good. You might even want to emphasize the melodic build a bit more here to really make it come in with a huge impact and make it more memorable. Nice use of rhyme in your hook- the more the merrier!Interesting vibe and some cool arrangement flavors you have going on. It shows you are developing a good handle on this genre... The breakdown is catchy- where you repeat "day by day".....Old school vibe and Interesting percussive elements. That bouncy keyboard part adds a good color- nice.Perhaps you may want to cowrite with a lyricist who can help bring more organization to the storyline. Right now the story/idea seems a little confusing, hard to follow.For eg who exactly is "he"? Who is the singer and why are they singing about this person? Usually a title is your main "hook." The word fake could be an interesting title- it suggests alot of things. But we need more. Why is this person fake? What is the oppositte of fake? How are they oppositte? You want to make your listener care. What is at stake here? It seems a little vague.A song should have a beginning, middle and end. What has changed by the ending? Make sure your lyric has an arc- where something has changed by the end. This is what makes a song interesting.Good song development. You have the right tools. With some tweaking of the lyric, you will have a solid song. Good luck.

Quote From Pro: Song has great momentum and flavourful arrangements, the chorus comes in with a bang like it should.

Fake by MITSH

MITSH

Broadjam Artist: MITSH
Song: Fake

Broadjam Pro Reviewer:
Diana Williamson (Songwriter, Music Supervisor)

Pro General Comments: Please note I don't rate individual instrumentation since my expertise lies more in marketability, lyric, melody, and overall performance.Song has good energy and attitude. It moves along nicely. There are no dead moments. Verses are kinda spoken- which for some reason reminds me of some of the Cure's hits. See how they build the arrangements and add dynamics...They may be good for you to study to get some ideas.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Dhn_iIQXDEGood build to chorus which is important. Your hook stands out which is good. You might even want to emphasize the melodic build a bit more here to really make it come in with a huge impact and make it more memorable. Nice use of rhyme in your hook- the more the merrier!Interesting vibe and some cool arrangement flavors you have going on. It shows you are developing a good handle on this genre... The breakdown is catchy- where you repeat "day by day".....Old school vibe and Interesting percussive elements. That bouncy keyboard part adds a good color- nice.Perhaps you may want to cowrite with a lyricist who can help bring more organization to the storyline. Right now the story/idea seems a little confusing, hard to follow.For eg who exactly is "he"? Who is the singer and why are they singing about this person? Usually a title is your main "hook." The word fake could be an interesting title- it suggests alot of things. But we need more. Why is this person fake? What is the oppositte of fake? How are they oppositte? You want to make your listener care. What is at stake here? It seems a little vague.A song should have a beginning, middle and end. What has changed by the ending? Make sure your lyric has an arc- where something has changed by the end. This is what makes a song interesting.Good song development. You have the right tools. With some tweaking of the lyric, you will have a solid song. Good luck.

Quote From Pro: Song has great momentum and flavourful arrangements, the chorus comes in with a bang like it should.